dAyVNeT    friend of israel

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- blog -
November, 2015
- quotation -
Everyone, I have a dramatic announcement. Anyone with a weak heart should leave. Goodbye.
Professor Farnsworth
Wanna see my ass?
Guess what... Guess what? The washer works!!!!
el jono
How low can you go?
I’ve lost the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps
radar operator in space balls
Shut up when I’m talking to you...
linkin park
You know what I like about you? not a gottdamn thing!
mm1 bendick
Look at monkey... He has Nike socks on... He’ a trendy monkey
el jono
Sandwich shop... I didn’t call you at no sandwich shop!
Next Friday
Today is next Friday, and I still ain’t got no job
How can i have sex without you?
stabbing westward shame
Maybe I should just stop doing stupid things!
Homer Simpson
I hope the cracka killas pay well or else it is back to the ghetto you go!
the mail man from next friday
so do you guys want to smoke some drugs?
lanky guy from road trip
do you wanna be johnny steady?
nada surf popular
them damn french people stink
el jono
Dumb people: 'what is that, an mp3 player?'
dayv: 'no its an md player'
dumb people: 'oh' (as if they understand what an md player is)
I love the way you smack my ass, I love the dirty things you do, I have control of you
puddle of mud control
A friend with weed is better
placebo pure morning
Orgy... Orgy... Orgy... Orgy... Orgy...
Everybody at jamboree who wanted Hole to get off the stage
You dont have to sue me to get my pants off!
Mr Burns the simpsons
I bet you cant guess who’s not going to jail
Frank was kind enough to put on pants and show us up here
You can lead a horse to water, but you cant draw a suction on his ass to make him drink
You'll have an awful hard time walking with my boot up your ass!
Do you want a stomach full of your own teeth?
I’m about three tae-bo workouts from kicking your ass
Until we lost the booze, i didnt realize how rotten the water was
Would you mind if people called you cocky?
I’m tired of all the perils of living in 3-D
I’ve had enough of the world and its people’s mindless games.
incubus pardon me
Ned Flanders: homer, I think that you hit something
Homer: "I hope it was Flanders...." he laughs a little... "Just kidding"
if sex were money, id be poor
from the picnic bench at Kendall College
Meow, meow, meow, meow...
meow, meow, meow, meow
the food cats ask for by name... lol
I’m a hamster, im a hamster
Other guy: "didnt these used to have a cobbler?"
homer: "they discontinued the cobbler"
other guy: "you smell like cobbler"
homer: "lets not get into who smells like what"
Guy on tv: "I have to trade a little of my freedoms for more security"
dayv: "No you dont!"
i love her
i hate him
I'm a put a hit out on yo' ass when i get my welfare check
Mike Epps
Stupid anti-fist shaking laws
Homer Simpson
Life should be full of red clips
I'm going to stomp a mud hole in your chest!
mm1 bendick
You don't get that with TRL
Rob Zombie
Ok there is a 10 o'clock curfew, but we will hang out with you guys outside
singer from flaw
that little fat boy and his family are in trouble
grounds keeper willy
Sometimes I just like to steal
Chris Rock
The devil took that poor boy's soul.....
and that boy's name was rosie o'donell
Notch Johnson
Remind me to whop yo' ass good next time i see you
I don't like you flapping your Catholic feathers
Steve Harris
"Maybe a hug will cork her cry."
homer simpson
Do I have a big head?
Alex P. Keaton
dayv: "Thats not funny, idiot"
elJono: "Yeah it is"
I want the life you think i had
Dave Navarro Rexall
yeah, larry flint is right!
homer simpson when talking about steven hawking
I think I might shoot myself because I Look like Drew
Ryan Styles
... Chris... My name is Chris... It is an unusual name
the guy on Another Stakeout
I take a whiskey drink, I take a vodka drink, when I need to pee I use the kichen sink
Homer Simpson
Mmmmmm... Unexplained bacon....
Homer Simpson
Mmmmmmmm thats good adultry
Where is my toast, you idiots?!?!
Right now, you could be doing something with your life
Van Halen Right Now
Look why are you mad at me? He's the one who ate your father!
Topper Harley
Dre doesn't get as high as me, I'm cheech and chong
Snoop Dog
I have shallow and unrealistic dreams
guy from Seether video
Homer: "dad am i as cute as a bug's ear?"
Granpa Simpson: "NO! yer as homie as a mule's but"
I'm not fat, I just haven't grown in to my body, you skinny bitch!
Eric Cartman
"Candy cane... Caaaanddy Caaaaane..."
Joy Ride
Suicide bombers belonging to al-Qaida's Martyrdom Battalion could crash-land an aircraft packed with explosives (C-4 and semex) into the Pentagon, the headquarters of the central intelligence agency (CIA), or the White House.
"Who Becomes A Terroist and Why" (C)1999 A government Report (I just wanted to highlight the date on the copyright)
"Danny's coming over, i need marijuana"
Unstrung Heros
If football is any slower, it'll become baseball
the sportscaster from fox 32
"We dont have that kind of money, we're not a synogogue"
Reverand Lovejoy The Simpsons
In the morning, I could see the sights,
No wonder i could never keep you satisfied.
Tantric Mourning
when in doubt, consult your Orthodox Rabbi
Passover Guide
is it too early to take off me pants??
el jono
Civilization is only skin deep
from the Primal commercial
I hope your ears turn into emu's and kick ya dunny down ...
Cor, blimey all you blokes are dags, I have no idea what half of these mean....
Im a donkey on the edge
Donkey (Shrek)
dryer than a dead dingos donga
I think I'm dumb
Maybe, im just happy
Think I'm just happy
Nirvana Dumb
I'm a little like Hillary Clinton, only, without the penis
Family Guy
If we could only look at things we could afford, we would only look at crap!
Malcom in the Middle
Marcy:: what do u mean he smells-he always showered regularly before
elDayvo: like even after he showers, he has a rank odor
Marcy: : maybe it is from an illness-i'll ask dr. heniff
dayv ~n~ marcy's convo
You crazy!
A sailor and a marine walk into the bathroom.
The marine walks out without washing his hands.
The sailor says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The marine says, "In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands."
Samuel L. Jackson in The Negotiator
David is cool
Lale the Thief
Guy: You know what the homeless need, a midget
Other Guy: Why would the homeless need a midget?
Movie, The New Guy
You know what I hate? A vagina full of sand.
Have a good day
mr mooch
There was a war in Iraq? I must have been asleep
English 101 Instructor
There are no pluses to being literate
Reading's overrated
That really irks me
They are more for like casual, but you could wear them with a pair of pants
Some girl at the shoe store
my life could be a jerry springer episode
You're just a crazy, lobster doctor
"The penis is g-d's baseball bat"
David Allan Greer on Loveline
Scout Leader: All right, all right, your son has three days to earn a merit badge.
Peter Griffin: Three days?! That's tomorrow!
Family Guy
Doesn't it bother you that doctors call what they do practicing?
Vaginal odors are everybody's problem
I'm a messed up kid with a messed up life
Custom Mess
Why don't you go get a father?!
the roomate
Sweet statutory, you look beautiful
Lando Griffin, The Family Guy
"Did you used to work at the library?"
A customer to dayv, who has never worked at a library
I feel like I've died and gone to New York
Hank Hill, King of the Hill
Ahh, freedom of religion, now you're getting the hang of it. Feels good to exercise your rights, doesn't it?
Michael Douglas in Falling Down
Give blood, 8 billion mosquitos cant be wrong
'cause I'm a 21st century digital boy,
I don't know how to live but I've got a lot of toys,
My daddy's a lazy middle class intellectual,
My mommy's on valium, so ineffectual,
Ain't life a mystery?
Bad Religion 21st Century Digital Boy
You never know how hungry dissecting a fetal pig will make you until you actually do it!
I bet if we fix it up, it could be crap.
Lois from Family Guy
If you was not for the nice hooters on your girlfriend, spiderman, I wouldn't even talk to you.
Bob, after dropping the spiderman box
you are as much use as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest
Brad Pitt+Albert Einstein=Dick Cheney
The Simpsons
It's not cool being a jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving
The guy in the cell with Eddie Murphy in Trading Places
Theory of Relativity
Mmmmmmm... floor pie
Homer Simpson
See, I'm better than a vacuum cleaner.
Liz @ 64
Canada is like the loft over a really great party
Robin Williams
The difference between panties and jockeys is the cock hole
come over here and turn around so i can hit you in the back of the head
American Chopper
Awwww lookie here, someone threw out a perfectly good white boy
Lewis, "Men at Work"
they just hate me cause they aint me
busta rhymes
I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth
Homer Simpson
200 MeV
Average amount of energy released per fission of 235U
if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump his ass when he hops
Happy Birthday... you know, the lawn wont mow it's self
Red Foreman
the worst thing about being homeless is you will never enjoy camping out again
Paul Rodriguez
I don't draw pictures like that anymore.
The kid on The Sixth Sense
I love this job more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who really enjoys my taffy.
Adam West on Family Guy
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts,
And I looked and behold: a pale horse.
And his name, that sat on him, was Death.
And Hell follwed with him.
When the Man Comes Around Johnny Cash
moving tip #68
do not kick truck if you lose the keys.

Contractor: "She has a good sense of humor"
dayv: "By sense of humor, he means rack"
64's second remodel
leave me alone,im drinking and driving here
elJono @ 64's second remodel
Contractor: "i'd lose my dick if it wasn't attached"
dayv: "well its a good thing its attached then"
64's second remodel
Tornados are your biggest fear? mine is monsters
Kelso in "That 70's Show"
See you soon.
The shoes already miss you.
Above the door @ the shoe store
i have no problem with giving the israelies all of israel as long as they give us some of florida back
Jim Davis
La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marijuana que fumar.
The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can't go traveling
Because he doesn't have, because he lacks
Marijuana to smoke.
One verse from "La Cucaracha"
Ya la murio la cucaracha
Ya la lleven a enterrar
Entre cuatro zopilotes
Y un raton de sacristan.
The cockroach just died
And they carried him off to bury him
Among four buzzards
And the sexton's mouse.)
Another verse from "La Cucaracha"
Ladies and gentlemen, the lower-economic people are not holding up their end in this deal... These people are not parenting. They are buying things for their kids-$500 sneakers for what? They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' . . . And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk... Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!
Bill Cosby
Al Bundy: Hello officer, did you mistake my house for a donut shop?
...short pause...
Officer Dan: Nope, there's only one of me here
Married......With Children
after what you did her, im suprised she didn't ditch the sausage and become a vagina-terian
dad from movie "Say it isn't so"
Oh, look, it's my first JOOD!
South Carolina
I don't tolerate laziness or ignorance, and you exhibit both of those
It's not a good idea to point out your ignorance to your boss
dayv @ the shoe store
Cheapo Filipo's prices wacked
If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. "Sexlexia".
Zap Brannigan
One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.
Zap Brannigan
Scalpel... blood bucket... priest.
Dr. Zoidberg
I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated.
Dr. Zoidberg
There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.
Bodies are for hookers and fat people.
I can't afford to keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it.
Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it inthe body of a great white shark -- oooh, then suddenly you've gone too far!
Professor Farnsworth
I guess I could part with one doomsday device and still be feared.
Professor Farnsworth
Actually, she wasn't really my girlfriend, she just lived nextdoor and never closed her curtains.
Men, you're lucky men. Soon, you'll all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.
Zapp Brannigan
What's the point of living if I can't say ass?
My doctor was telling me that I don't get enough tar, so I'm going to start smoking.
The guy from Mythbusters
If history judges Bush harshly--and it probably will--it won't be for screwing up as a young smart aleck, but for getting us into this damn fool war.
Cecil Adams, "The Straight Dope"
Jesse Jackson, tried to be Dr. King, became Dr. Atkins
Lewis Black
The fourth derivative is the derivative of the third derivative is the derivative of the second derivative is the derivative of the first derivative is the derivative of the original function.
Any calculus instructor
Cosine what, your mom?!
the calc teacher
my god
look at his tattoos and those earrings
he could never get
a good job
go home and beat your kids
so they don't turn out as bad as me
Smile Empty Soul "All My Problems"
I could be the walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off people.
Dont pay attetion to him, he's still upset about the O.J. Trial... HELL I THINK HE DID IT TOO!
David Allen Grier
Planned Parenthood is in most of our schools, handing out condoms and such....Itsn't that like giving out cookbooks to a fat farm??
Rev. Jerry Fallwell
I'll burn my eyes out before I give out
Smashing Pumpkins Today
Those goddamn Jews are so optimistic, they cut it of before they get to use it
Think twice before you touch my girl, come around let you feel the burn.
Think twice before you touch my girl, come around come around no more.
Eve 6, Think Twice
I will change your life
I know why you're staring
I hate myself...I hate you
Does anybody love you?
I slept with 432 women
I love you
People forget history
Pick love or fear
You got me pregnant
I have shallow unrealistic dreams
I miss her
I'm a liar
I'm guilty
You'll never be me
I'm a product of sex and violence
I disgust myself
I am boring in bed
I assumed it was normal
My parents hate me
I hate him...I love her
You think you have freedom
I love it when you fail
I'm too beautiful for you
I choke on pop culture
Someone else controls what you watch
I will never be your friend
Mostly I hate to sleep alone
Everything eventually will end.
Quotes from the Seether "Fine Again" video
every december 25th i kick off my shoes and go down to
the deli and hang out with the jews
Drew Carey
The world is a scary place now that you've released the demons in me...
Disturbed, "The Sickness"
Wait a minute, why are you mad at me, he's the one who ate your father.
Topper Harley
You risked the lives of some damn good pilots, and thats my job
Lloyd Bridges
I feel stupid,
And contagious,
Here we are now,
Entertain us...
Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit
mrMooch: "I can bounce the bed perfectly fine on my own"
the girl: "On your own, eh?"
mrMooch: "Well, with a little help."
the girl: "Yeah, from your hand."
tonight in gran'pa's room
Time to die, Mr. Bond.
It's a baby, not a paycheck
Outkast Miss Jackson
Would you like me to pull on your cauda equina?
dayv to binxxx
Bill Gates is as about as funny as a case of jock itch
Jeff Foxworthy
I like animals.
I like to eat.
I like to eat animals.
mrMooch to the vegan chick at work
I'm not lonely, I just don't like people. You know who i hate the most, Others.
Guy on Comedy Central
You cheat on me, I crush you
No mommy, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me
Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?
Dont do it, you're hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch
Why don't you,
Why don't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just leave here and die
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
How would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die
Disturbed 'Down with the Sickness'
The life of the wife is ended by the knife
Family Guy
dayv: hey binxxx, come play with me!
binxxx: I'm busy, David, im actually working!
Today in the computer lab
Jimmy Pop: I feel like an amputee.
Other dude: why?
Jimmy Pop: Can't hold a note, can't carry a tune
Bloodhound Gang One Fierce Beer Coaster
Olga: Why does Olga have a full head of hair?
dayv:'cause she's a girl?
Olga: No, because it keeps her safe.
the shoe store
Back in the day, when I worked with shoes, I had a real foot fetish.. I just loved toes, I was a real toe-mosexual
rich from the bloomingdale store
No one knows what it’s like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you The Who ’Behind Blue Eyes’
I'll never make fun of the Coast Guard again, those Navy rejects are alright.
Homer Simpson
If you make stuff up for an essay should you cite your ass as the source?
idiot: I'm at SP and all their forms are in PDF Format....
mrJon: ok?
idiot: why are they in PDF format?
mrJon: to save space and so they can just print and go on with their day.
idiot: what if they need to change something?
mrJon: what do they need to change?

today @ work
That ugly bitch sitting behind u has the back of her neck pierced, does she think it'll make her less butt ass ugly?
dayv about some girl at lunch
Did you know that there was actually a time when old white men rode the bus?
Daryll Hughley
U know what? Actually studying medicine really makes u not want to go into medicine
dayv after his pathophysiology exam
If she smokes, she pokes
Lois Griffin
You think you're cool, right? One in three americans die of cancer. I hope you're one of those. Fuck you, die, fuck you. You're going to die of cancer, I promise.
Tool Message to Harry Manback
I feel the dream in me expire and there’s no one left to blame it on.
Seether Fine Again
Should I paint the penis?
Should I sculpt the penis?
Should I conduct with my penis?
Peter Griffen
Alcohol + Surgery = NO NO
There's no place
some nerd's shirt who came into my store today (i laughed, so I'm a nerd too)
They say the devil lives in my soul
I promise not to let him take control
Sevendust Black
Are you ready to use some dirty language with me, Chicago?
Disturbed Stupify
With such a little brain, how can I talk so much?
Jimmie's Chicken Shack Trash
It makes you want to work just enough to not get fired
Office Space
The Employee: Bio...Psychology
dayv: Wow, you can read! It is amazing what they are teaching you guys in public school nowadays.
...five minutes later...
The Employee: ...they were immaculately concepted...
dayv: Conceived. Now that is the public school I know.
After work
Get a job or get the fuck out!!!
the sign on the printer's box
I’m what Willis was talkin’ ’bout!
T-Shirt on Scrubs
Uh uh, foo. That’s the baby lunch!
Dashiki Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Your disease is killing me.
Saliva "Your Disease"
moo moo: "What you moving out?"
tubs: "NO! I have to help my friend first thing in the morning blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
The other night in the living room, i lost interest fast.....
[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer]
Bill Lumbergh: Hello Peter, what's happening? Listen, are you gonna have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?
Peter Gibbons: No.
Bill Lumbergh: Ah. Well then I suppose we should go ahead and have a little talk.
Peter Gibbons: Not right now Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. You know what, in fact I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back later, I've got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple minutes.
Bill Lumbergh: I wasn't aware of a meeting with them.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, they called me at home.
Office Space
Milton Waddams: The ratio of people to cake is too big
Office Space
Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.
Office Space
Bob Porter: We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.
Office Space
Bill Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
Office Space
Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.
Dom Portwood: Who's he?
Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Great.
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end.
Office Space
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.
Office Space
Leela save me!!!!
And yourself
And my banjo
*short pause*
And fry too!

Pork Warehouse (8:21 am): Did you fix me so i can get online?
Me (8:25 am): Did u learn how to stop being a whiney runt yet?
Pork Warehouse (8:25 am): I'm not a fucking whiney runt
Me (8:26 am): coulda fooled me
sms conversation between dayv and tubby
That man's a human sundial.
Dr. Kelso
You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Turk Scrubs
I don't see anybody else around soap jockey.
Dr. Cox Scrubs
Thump, thump
Goes the washer
Employee: Look, I'm a cowboy.... girl
dayv: they don't even have cows in the Ukraine, so you can't be a cow anything
the shoe store
Ed (to his momma): I am making breakfast and we don’t have any bread!
dayv (as his momma): Don’t worry, son, I’m coming fer ya! I’m comin’!
Today, at breakfast
What are you doing to my daughter?!?!
dayv doing his impression of Bruce
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
Art does not reproduce the visible; rather it makes visible.
Paul Klee
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
John Lennon
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
John Diefenbaker
It matters not so much where you are on the hill, as which direction you're headed.
All of us may be in the gutter; but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
He who fights against monsters should see to it that he doesn't become one.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets by it, but rather what he becomes by it.
John Ruskin
Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Two people may be at the same spot in manners and behaviour, and yet one may be getting better, and the other worse, which is the greatest of differences that could possibly exist between them.
George MacDonald
Wisdom begins in wonder.
God is in the details.
Mies van der Rohe
What you think, you become.
Mahatma Gandhi
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
Ignore that man behind the curtain!
The Wizard of Oz
The eye is created by the light, for the light.
Never mistake motion for action.
Ernest Hemmingway
We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
What we love, we grow to resemble.
Bernard of Clairvaux
Everything's hard till you know how to do it.
Ray Charles
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Franklin Roosevelt
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
Muriel Rukeyser
What we see depends on mainly what we look for.
John Lubbock
Surely every man at his best is but a mere breath.
Psalm 39:56
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.
Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Drawing is not the form; it is the way of seeing the form.
The quality of a play is the quality of its ideas.
George B. Shaw
What the hand shapes is a signpost to the soul.
Uffe Ellemann-Jensen
Really we create nothing, we merely plagurise nature.
Jean Baitaillon
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Perfect love is the most beautiful of all frusterations.
Charlie Chaplin
Gardening is the one unquestionably useful activity.
George Bernard Shaw
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin
The coward regards himself as cautious; the miser as thrifty.
Publilius Syrus
They ever must believe a lie, who see with, not through, the eye.
William Blake
Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides. That means I Must be right.
Larry Wall
Well, sometimes life gives us lessons sent in ridiculous packaging.
Dar Williams
All one's life is music, if one touches the notes rightly, and in time.
John Ruskin
Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
G. W. F. Hegel
Anyone who has begun to think, places some portion of the world in jeopardy.
John Devey
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
Mark Twain
I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
George B. Shaw
It is people who live by rules that are always hoping to get them changed.
Robert Harbison
The more advanced a system becomes, the more vulnerable to primitive modes of attack.
Dr. Who
Anyone who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue ought to be sterilized.
Adolph Hitler
I have only made this longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.
Blaise Pascal
You can't say civilization doesn't advance, for in every war they kill you a new way.
Will Rogers
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?
Albert Einstein
Anyone can make the simple complicated. Creativity is making the complicated simple.
Charles Mingus
Never attribute to malice that which can satisfactorily be explained by incompetence.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better.
John Updike
If everyone contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of cholera.
John Rich
It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
Douglas Hoffstader
You see things, and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were, and I say WHY NOT?
George B. Shaw
It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow
Imagination is more important than Knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
Anatole France
Virtue does not come from money, but rather from virtue comes money, and all other things good to man.
A man needs a little madness, or else he never dares to cut the rope and be free.
Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek
Every part is both construction and ornament; the entire surface is meaningful.
Oleg Grabar, Islamic Art Historian
The freedom of the man who sails with the wind is greater than the freedom of the man who rows himself.
John Robertson
Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence, trust and justice.
When a man asks a woman out for dinner, it isn't because he knows that on friday night he'll want a steak.
Wendy Wasserstein
If you own a machine, you are in turn owned by it, and spend your time serving it.
Marion Zimmer Bradley, 'The Forbidden Tower'
Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
Dr. Who
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, do it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.
Wolfgang von Goethe
Besides, they had the Hacker ethos: if it doesn't work, fix it; if it does work, take it apart.
Paul Wallich, IEEE Spectrum. Sept 2001
A. A violent order is disorder; and B. A great disorder is an order. These two things are one.
Wallace Stevens, 'Connoisseur of Chaos
The immature mind I don't believe can distinguish from good ideas that are poorly produced and bad ideas that are well produced.
Nolan Bushnell
Success is not measured by the position one has reached in life, rather by the obstacles overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington
The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
Justice Louis D. Brandeis
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
Hermann Hesse, 1877-1962
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
T.S. Eliot
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Galileo Galilei
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
George B. Shaw
In every art form it is the emotional content that makes the difference between mere technical skill and true art.
Frank Thomas & Ollie Johnston, The Illusion of Life
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie
What we call evil, is the only and best shape, which, for the person and his condition at the time, could be assumed by the best good.
George MacDonald, 'Phantastes'
There is hardly anything in the world that someone can't make a little worse and sell a little cheaper -- and people who consider price alone are this man's lawful prey.
John Ruskin, 1819-1900
When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Buckminster Fuller
The light of the body is the eye. If therefore, thine eye be clear, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, they whole body shall be full of darkness.
Matthew 6:22
If you want a final opinion on the mystery of life and all that, I can give it to you in a nutshell. The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. but the combination is locked up in the safe.
Peter de Vries
Evolution is not a progression to ever greater and greater differentiation. but... is first an ascent to a higher point, and after having reached this point is then a descent to more and more simple forms.
Rudolf Steiner, Michael IX
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams
Consumption beyond need is what appears to drive the economy, not the response to need. It cannot sustain unless it grows, and it cannot grow unless it perpetually consumes more than it needs.
John Townsend, Whole Earth Review, Summer 1991
It took some time for designers to recognize the possibilities of the suspension bridge - a form impossible to create with stone alone but which was perfectly suited to the properties of steel.
Ivan Sutherland, on possibilities for asynchronous logic circiuts
Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man. The first principle of non-violence is the non-compliance with everything that is humiliating.
Mahatma Gandhi
Think again before postulating the Drive to Self-Preservation as the cardinal drive in an organic being. A Living thing desires above all to Vent its Strength - Life as such is Will to Power - Self Preservation is Only one of the Indirect and most frequent Consequences of it.
And this is the law of the wild, as old and as true as the sky. And the wolf who keeps it will prosper, but the wolf who breaks it will die! Like the wind that circles the tree trunk, this law runneth forward and back. The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.
Rudyard Kipling
A vulgar mechanick can practice what he has been taught or seen done, but if he is in error, he knows not how to find it out and correct it;... Whereas he that is able to reason nimbly and judiciously about figure, force, and motion, is never at rest till he gets over every rub.
Isaak Newton, in a letter to Nathaniel Hawes
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbour will risk his position, his prestige and even his life for the welfare of others. In dangerous valleys and hazardous pathways, he will lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life.
Martin Luther King Jr., 1963
The discovery of the alphabet will create forgetfulness in the learners' souls, because they will not use their memories; they will trust to the external written characters and not remember of themselves... You give your disciples not truth but only the semblance of truth; they will be heroes of many things, and will have learned nothing; they will appear to be omniscient and will generally know nothing.
Colours first appear at the edges between Light and Dark. The continuous spectrum with green in the middle arises only where the
blue-cyan and yellow-rededges come close enough to overlap. When light shines through a prism, we are simply projecting a picture whose aperature has edges. There is darkness outside this circular patch, while it is relatively light within it -- and this is where the Colours first occur -- where the Light adjoins Dark. This is the primal phenomenon, that Colours arise at the borders, where Light and Dark work together. (From: Goethe's Colour Theory)
After a few days, Willie got tired of [the water-wheel] -- and no blame to him, for it was no earthly use beyond amusement, and that which can only amuse can never amuse long. I think the reason children get tired of their toys so soon is just that it is against human nature to be really interested in what is of no use. If you say that a beautiful thing is always interesting, I answer, that a beautiful thing is of the highest use. Is not the diamond that flashes all its colours into the heart of a poet as useful as the diamond with which the glazier divides the sheets of glass into panes for our windows?
George MacDonald, The Gutta Percha Willie
Less is More.
You are what you Think.
This, too, shall pass...
The journey is the reward.
Don't postpone happiness.
The best parts are not on film.
Looking begins with being quiet.
Those who anger you, control you.
Owe no man any thing.
Romans 13:8
Looking starts with being quiet.
Life is about timing.
Carl Lewis
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Act, and God will Act.
Joan of Arc
No man can be my enemy whom I call friend.
Rush something, and it takes just as long.
I invent nothing; I rediscover.
Thing globally, act locally
Folk proverb
Nothing endures but change.
What goes around comes around.
Folk proverb
Beggars should be no choosers.
John Heywood
The movement exists, the organ forms around it.
Men think and women steer.
Heinrich Heine
The rose adorns itself only to adorn the garden.
Do nothing which is of no use.
Miyamoto Musahi
Information wants to be free.
Stewart Brand
A thief believes everybody steals.
E.W. Howe
The shortest answer is doing.
George Herbert
Neckties strangle clear thinking.
Lin Yutang
The past is not what it was.
G. K. Chesterton
Beware of the man of one book.
Thomas Aquinas
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
Be great in little things.
St. Francis Xavier
If not you, who? If not now, when?
Everything is movement - the harmony of the spheres.
Each day is a little life.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Believe the best of everybody.
Rudyard Kipling
Whatever you are be a good one.
Abraham Lincoln
Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.
A. Sachs
Just don't create a file called -rf.
Larry Wall
We are all necessary parts of each others experience.
Living well is the best revenge.
George Herbert
The flowers of tomorrow begin with the seeds of today.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Rick Hemmingway
Don't cry because its over; smile because it happened.
Nature pleases those who please others.
It is forbidden to forbid'.
Roger Scruton, May 1968
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Will Rogers
Death will come, and will have your eyes.
Knowledge shared is power lost.
Aleister Crowley
The unexamined life is not worth living.
He is a fool who would try to make peace by waging war.
A laugh is just like sunshine. It freshens all the day.
Imitation is the sincerest flattery.
C. C. Colton
No bloodshed... just do away wth them.
Bill Cosby
Its not how much yo add, its how much you leave out.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Sun Tzu
Angry people have no music.
Johann Gottfried Seume
Procrastination is the thief of time.
Edward Young
When things are good, people complain about the weather.
You may delay, but time will not.
Benjamin Franklin
The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.
Better to strengthen your back than to lighten your load.
If you rush something, it takes just as long anyways.
The first duty of love - is to listen.
Paul Tillich
Bad artists copy, good artists steal.
Pablo Picasso
Sleep is the younger brother of death.
folk proverb
Only fools confuse price and value.
Antonio Machado
The Profit of the Earth is for All.
Ecclesiastes 5:9
The faster people go, the less patience they have.
To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.
Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.
Love is friendship set to music.
E. Joseph Crossmann
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates, 1981
Knowledge withheld is power gained.
Aleister Crowley
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
People sleep, and when they die, they awake.
It may be those who do most, dream most.
Stephen Leacock
Try not. Do. Or Do Not. There is no try.
In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.
Jose Narosky
Every good painter paints what he is.
Jackson Pollock
Music is the universal language of mankind.
Advice is judged by results, not by intentions.
Music is the silence between the notes.
Claude Debussy
No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Banzai
No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.
Zen saying
We are ne'er like angels till our passions die.
Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Francis Bacon
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
Walt Kelly's Pogo
Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truth.
Who will babysit the babysitters?
Jello Biafra, 'Lard'
Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
Lao Tsu
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Berra
No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
History is a vast early warning system.
Norman Cousins
Religion begins in awe, and ends in politics.
Martin Buber
The Wider you make the Roads, the more Congested they become.
You shouldn't anthropomorphize computers; they don't like it.
When Infinity Ends, and Eternity Begins...
Isaak Asimov
There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
A. J. Muste
Uncertainty is the price we pay for freedom.
R. Steiner
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Lewis Carroll
Happiness is not a place - it is a direction.
Bill Sands
A small thing repeated often enough, is a big thing.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Aldous Huxley
Every shot not taken is a goal not scored.
Wayne Gretzky
The street finds its own uses for things.
William Gibson
There is no peace without forgiveness.
Pope John Paul II
Function Melts Form
Stewart Brand, 'How Buildings Learn'
Keep nothing that isn't useful or beautiful.
Kim Edwards
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Terrorism is the symptom, not the disease.
Arundhati Roy
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali
We have met the enemy and he is us!
Walt Kelly, Pogo 1971
Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
Goodness speaks in a whisper, evil shouts.
Tibetan proverb
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.
Robert Browning
I'd rather be wierd, because sometimes normal is so wierd.
Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.
Ani DiFranco
'Why not' is a slogan for an interesting life.
Mason Cooley
Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
Janet Long
Adventure is not outside a man, it is within.
David Grayson
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
Muriel Rukeyser
Reliability is a function of how gracefully a system can decline.
Seeing is forgetting the name of what one sees.
Paul Valery
Do what you love. The money will follow.
Marsha Sinetar
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Who will watch the watchers?
The wise learn many things from their enemies.
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies.
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
Jerome Blattner
Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly.
Robert Doisneau
Tough times never last, but tough people do!
Robert Schuller
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
Titus Lucretius Carus
The secret to staying young is to never stop climbing trees.
People tend to see the past through the lens of the present.
War is fear cloaked in courage.
General William Westmoreland
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Derek Bok
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Benjamin Disraeli
Life is like a voyage that is homeward bound.
Herman Melville
How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.
Adolf Hitler
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers
You can observe a lot by watching.
Lawrence Peter 'Yogi' Berra
To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
Erin Majors
Violence is the last resource of the incompetent.
Isaac Asimov
I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.
Claude Monet
Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.
Frank Tyger
The future depends on what we do in the present.
Mahatma Gandhi
Life is but a journey; death is returning home.
Chinese proverb
The wise don't give the right answers, they pose the right questions.
Man is the only animal who blushes, or who needs to.
Mark Twain
Fiction is not photography, it's oil painting.
Robertson Davies
Things are in the saddle, and ride mankind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Its always a good idea to watch the people that aren't talking.
Part of being a great artist, is knowing what to leave out.
Let him who would move the world, first move himself.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao Tzu
You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.
G. K. Chesterton
When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults.
Brian Aldiss
In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.
An air-conditioned building is easier to get into, than to get out of.
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Bertrand Russell
There are too many people, and too few human beings.
Robert Zand
If you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans'
Mike Scott
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
You become what you think about all day long.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Much work is lost, for the lack of a little more.
Edward H. Harriman
The happiness now is part of the sadness then.
Joy Davidman Lewis
I met the roaring beast, and he said: Live deliberately; or not at all.
A book of quotations... can never be complete.
Robert M. Hamilton
Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountifield crop.
Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees.
Revelation 7:3
Before a woman decieves another, she decieves herself.
Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.
Rosa Luxemburg
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
People only see what they are prepared to see.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The way people move is their autobiography in motion.
Gerry Spence
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
In the long run, you only hit what you aim at!
Henry David Thoreau
404 - j00 f001, 7|-|47 p4g3 d0||'7 eXi57! y0u sux0rz.
Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Did you ever wonder what side of the mirror you're on?
Rob Gerard
The heart has reasons which reason knows nothing of.
Blaise Pascal
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Alphonse Karr
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Frank Zappa
I never could explain why I love anybody, or anything.
Walt Whitman
Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
Albert Camus
Man cannot change the direction of the wind, but he can adjust the sails.
But the flower soon began to wither, and I forsook it.
The passage of time depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself.
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
Anais Nin
I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying.
Michael Jordan
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
Joseph Addison
Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify.
It is a poor sort of memory that works only backwards.
Lewis Carrol
A trend is almost always a stream of imitation.
Austin Briggs, 1961
When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece.
John Ruskin
Isn't Disney World a people-trap operated by a mouse?
George Carlin
He who burns books, will, in the end, also burn people.
Heine, 1820
The future always comes too fast and in the wrong order.
Alvin Toffler
Open source is good.
Steve Jobs Open source is evil. (Bill Gates)
All that is gold does not glitter; not all who wander are lost.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Any idiot can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one!
A fool eats his last potato; a wise man plants it.
Irish proverb
The soul is sweetened with tears.
Gems from the East, H.P. Blavatsky
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Luke 12:34
The problem of the artist is to defamiliarize the ordinary.
Paul Rand
When your intent is in accordance with the Universe, things start happening.
Progress is not possible without deviation from the norm.
Frank Zappa
Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it.
Winston Churchill
In every truth the opposite is equally true.
Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
Computer: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Jargon File
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
Alghonse Karr
Someone who is perfectly sincere can affect things thereby.
In thy Nothing I hope to find my All.
Goethe, Mephistopheles in Faust
My heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill.
William Sharp
People who get stuff done get put down by people who don't.
Henry Rollins
The goal of Life is living in harmony with nature.
Zeno, 335-263 B.C.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt
A good education consists in knowing how to sing and dance well.
Every day I count wasted in which there has been no dancing.
Hey man, Life is my College...
Jello Biafra, from the Power of Lard EP
If you worry about substance, image takes care of itself.
George Soros
Art does not reproduce the visible; rather it makes visible.
Paul Klee
A human being is nothing but a story with a skin around it.
Fred Allen
We stand within the realm of that which hides itself.
Martin Heidegger
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
Joe Ancis
Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done.
Wong Ka Kui
To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him angry.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
What you see is not the plant, but a history of what the plant has been doing.
Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions.
Laurent Gasser
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
Joseph Addison
In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story.
Walter Cronkite
Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.
Henry Ford
Wealth is not his that has it, but his who enjoys it.
Benjamin Franklin
The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
Linus Pauling
The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet.
William Gibson
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
George MacDonald
The mind's direction is more important than its progress.
Joseph Joubert
Let no one come to you without leaving better and happier.
Mother Teresa
Do not speak of your happiness to less fortunate than yourself.
Minds are like parachutes: they only function when open.
Thomas R. Dewar
If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn.
Charlie 'Bird' Parker
We think in generalities, but we live in details.
Alfred North Whitehead
What power would hell have if those imprisoned there could not dream of heaven?
Plants are that which turn mud into flowers with the aid of sunlight.
I pray not because it changes God, but because it changes me.
C.S. Lewis
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.
Shirley MacLaine
The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
Moliere, 1622 - 1673
Pick battles big enough to matter, and small enough to win.
Jonathan Kozol
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
G. K. Chesterton
Love sees others, not just for what they are, but also for what they can be.
The true univeristy of these days is a collection of books.
Thomas Carlyle
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
I think it's in my basement. Let me go upstairs and check.
M.C. Escher
Judge no one til you've walked a mile in their moccasins.
Cherokee proverb
Make visible what, without you, might never have been seen.
Robert Bresson
If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
Robert Frost
The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.
Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.
Robert F. Kennedy
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
Jeannette Rankin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
Niel Peart, Rush
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.
Lin Yutang
Our life is no dream; but it ought to become one, and perhaps will.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln
Keep distance in your eyes.
Leonard 'Trapper' Leo, Canadian Conservationist
Opposites attract, but after marriage, opposites attack.
Dr. Charles Lowery
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
Immanuel Kant
I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
Enlightenment means taking full responsibility for your life.
William Blake
One cannot unite a community without a newspaper or journal of some kind.
Love is not only something you feel. It's something you do.
David Wilkerson
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
Richard Bach
Many in life will tell you you're a monkey; and you are - if you believe them.
Fairy-tales tend to depict reality as it exists for the emotional life.
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
From suffering, knowledge is born.
Aeschylus, 525-456 BC, 'father of Tragedy'
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Woodrow Wyatt
Even when all the experts agree, they may well be mistaken.
Bertrand Russell
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas Edison
We laugh at honour, and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.
C.S. Lewis
Life isn't worth living, unless it is lived for someone else.
Albert Einstein
Happiness is a by product of making someone else happy.
Gretta Brooker Palmer
Many in life will tell you you're a monkey, and you are -- if you believe them.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein
Logic is a system whereby one may go wrong with confidence.
Charles Kettering
Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow.
Thomas Jefferson
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
Henry Ford
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
Dr. Ralph Gerard
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.
Isaac Bashevis Singer
No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.
Robert Heinlein
The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.
Helen Keller
Every effort under compulsion demands a sacrifice of life-energy.
Nikola Tesla
Of all victories the first and greatest is for a man to conquer himself.
If you have to ask what Jazz is, you'll never know.
Louis Armstrong, 1901-1971
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
Beauty is the most subtle form of intelligence. Simonetta Vespucci
1454 - 1476
When you look for the bad in mankind; you will surely find it.
Abraham Lincoln
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces.
Aldo Leopold
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Psalms 30:5
I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree.
Joyce Kilmer, 1914
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana
We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
Georg Wilhelm F. Hegel
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Python is executable pseudocode. Perl is executable line noise.
Bruce Eckel
There is nothing that is impossible to the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Oliver's Law: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
O Lord, thou givest us everything, at the price of an effort.
Leonardo Da Vinci
The new wave is not value-added; it's garbage-subtracted
Esther Dyson, Dec 1994
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
Jealousy: All the fun you think they're having.
Erica Jong, Fear of Flying, 1973
A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is better to be roughly right than to be precisely wrong.
John Maynard Keynes
A ship is safe in the harbour but that's not what ships are for.
Albert J Nimeth
I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
Alice in Wonderland
Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
John Barrymore
Every tool carries with it the spirit by which it was created.
Werner Heisenberg
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
The Beatles
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Folk proverb
To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift.
Steve Prefontaine
Remember, a chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up.
Brigham Young
You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier to do.
If you can walk you can dance if you can talk you can sing.
Zimbabwe Proverb
In order to know things well, we must know them in detail.
La Rouchefoucauld
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
Andy Warhol, 1928-1987
Don't take life too seriously. You don't get out alive anyway.
Elbert Hubbard
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Will Durant, 1885-1981
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
All understanding begins with our not accepting the world as it appears.
Alan Kay
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain
Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
James J. Ling
Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen.
Woodie Guthrie
Man will always find a complicated means to perform a simple task.
Rube Goldberg
He that plants trees loves others beside himself.
Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732
It is not love that produces jealousy -- it is selfishness.
Mr. Justice Wallington
Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
Error: No keyboard detected. Press F1 to continue.
Microsoft Windows error message
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
Dr. Who
The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.
Woodrow Wilson
Don't play what you know, play what you don't know about what you know.
Miles Davis
Our greatest natural resource are the minds of our children.
Walt Disney, 1901-1966
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Light is the single undivided essence of the universe; It is not a compound.
Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
Marquis de Condorcet
The real leader has no need to lead -- he is content to point the way.
Henry Miller
Don't always say what you know, but always know what you say.
Matthias Claudias
All problems in computer graphics can be solved with a matrix inversion.
James Blinn
There's another way to survive. Mutual trust -- and help.
Kirk, Day of the Dove
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a stick.
Will Rogers
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
Nicholas Murray Butler
The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.
Richard Moss
Home is not where you live, it's where people understands you.
Christian Morgenstern
I am part of the part, which at first was the whole.
Goethe, Mephistopheles in Faust
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
Bernard Mentzer
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.
Arnold Toynbee
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
Henry David Thoreau
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.
GK Chesterton, 1874-1936
The act of censorship is always worse than whatever is being censored.
Chandon Seldon)
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
George Bernard Shaw
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
Jim Elliot
A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
J.F. Kennedy
Bore: A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary.
Walter Winchell
I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating.
Boss Tweed
Nonviolence doesn't always work -- but violence never does.
Madge Micheels-Cyrus
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Charles Caleb Colton, 1780 - 1832, Lacon
Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.
John V. Lindsay
The whole art of living consists in giving up our existence in order to exist.
Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
George Carlin
Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.
Isaac Asimov
The present is the point at which time touches eternity.
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Benjamin Franklin
Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.
Bertrand Russell
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.
Latin Proverb
The thing you set your mind on is the thing you ultimately become.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Dave Barry
Life is an Illusion, but an Illusion which we must take very seriously.
Aldous Huxley
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.
Jim Gray
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
Anatole France
You need somebody to love while you're looking for someone to love.
Shelagh Delaney
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
William James
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clarke
In the wind's uproar, the sea's raging grim, and the sighs that are born in him.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
But instruments do not make music: people do.
Max Rudolf, New York Times, June 21, 1992
The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them...
Michelle Hammersley
Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein
Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.
Gretta Brooker Palmer
Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
Wayne Gretzky
Copyright doesn't cover ideas; it's your expression of those ideas.
Richard Stallman
I never give them hell. I just tell the truth and they think it's hell.
Harry Truman
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
Proverbs, 26:5
I learned many years ago never to waste time trying to convince my colleagues.
The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
John Allston
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Oscar Wilde
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
The triumph of persuasion over force is the sign of a civilized society.
Mark Skousen
If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
Charles Boyle
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
Oscar Wilde
Work expands to fill the time available.
Cyril Northcote Parkinson, 'The Economist', 1955
I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.
Erica Jong
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Thomas Alva Edison
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
Saki, 1870-1916, 'The Square Egg'
Spirit depends on matter or body, not for its being, but for its expression.
Owen Barfield
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
Havelock Ellis
Evolution is a half-truth. Survival of the fittest pares the tree, Cooperation grows it.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
Herman Hesse
Nothing in poverty so ill is borne as it's exposing men to grinning scorn.
John Oldham
In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate.
Rene Descartes
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Marcus Aurelius
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
Mickey Mouse
It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
Roger Babson
Performance monitoring somewhat reduces performance.
Greg Hermanovic,
Never let a fool kiss you and never let a kiss fool you.
Janet Balmer, Co.Antrim, N.Ireland
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Odgen Nash
Life, like a dome of many-coloured glass, Stains the white radiance of eternity.
A song ain't nothin in the world but a story just wrote with music to it.
Hank Williams Sr
It is not how busy you are, but why you are busy; The bee is praised, the mosquito is swatted.
The single most important question is whether the universe is friendly.
Albert Einstein
Knowledge divides the world, wisdom makes it whole.
Proverb of the Makuna People in Columbia
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
Albert Einstein
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
William Feather
We are drowning in information, but starved for knowledge.
James Naisbitt, American futurist
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
Robert Frost
Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
William Butler Yeats
I knew I'd hate COBOL the moment I saw they'd used 'perform' instead of 'do'.
Larry Wall
Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.
Reports on the first helicopters - Somebody's WINDMILL just flew by!
Gabrill Slashdot-556503
When I see I forget. When I hear I remember. When I do I understand.
Chinese Proverb
People prefer to follow those who help them, not those who intimidate them.
C. Gene Wilkes
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian
The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
It is hard to overstate the debt that we owe to men and women of genius.
Robert G. Ingersoll
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Albert Einstein
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
Peter F. Drucker
If death did not exist today, it would be necessary to invent it.
Count Jean Baptiste Millaud
Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a patholgical criminal.
Albert Einstein
Whatever you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
Greer's Third Law
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
James Barrie
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Terrorism is the war of the poor, and war is the terrorism of the rich.
Sir Peter Ustinov
Never allow yourself to violate your principles by the force of your company
Madamme Blavatsky
The American way of life is not negotiable.
George Bush Sr, Earth Summit, Rio de Janeiro, 1992
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.
Abraham Lincoln
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln
Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers, Grow, grow.
The Talmud
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
Ecclesiates 3:1
We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.
Gary Collins
A good man in his darkest aberration, Of the right path is conscious still.
Goethe, Faust 1
Going to college can help you be knowledgeable, but it cannot make you wise.
John Taylor Gatto
The real measure of our wealth is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money.
J.H. Jowett
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.
Soren Kierkegaard
The willingness of one to see is dependant upon their willingess to open their eyes.
T. Richard
You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.
Sherlock Holmes, A Scandal in Bohemia
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike...
Will Crowther, Colossal Cave Adventure
A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.
Alistair Cooke
If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.
Orson Welles
Most people will listen to your unreasonable demands, if you'll consider their unacceptable offer.
I, you, he, she, we -- In the garden of mystic lovers, these are not true distinctions.
The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
William James, 1842-1910
Bigotry is an incapacity to conceive seriously the alternative to a proposition.
G. K. Chesterton
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso
Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the Horizon as the end of the ocean.
David Searls
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
Marilyn vos Savant
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Architecture starts when you carefully put two bricks together. There it begins.
Mies van der Rohe
Between the idea and the reality Between the motion and the act Falls the Shadow.
T.S. Eliot
When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.
Lao Tse
There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.
Ambrose Bierce
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
Andrew Carnegie
A man lives by believing something, not by debating and arguing about many things.
Thomas Carlyle
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression.
Thomas Paine
You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.
Cass Whittington
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Lyall Watson
One must confront an idea, or else fall into its bondage.
Rudolf Steiner, The Philosophy of Freedom
Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
Aldous Huxley
Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it.
John Lennon
Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come.
Perry Paxton
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy
First-rate people hire first-rate people, second-rate people hire third-rate people.
Leo Rosten
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.
George Moore
Dread of disaster makes everybody act in the very way that increases the disaster.
Bertrand Russell
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Carl W. Buechner
There is only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything.
Vince Lombardi
The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.
Anais Nin
I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats; If it be man's work I will do it.
Shakespeare, King Lear
The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.
Ronald Reagan
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric Hoffer, 1902-1983
Non-violence which is a quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
Mahatma Gandhi
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
I may not like what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
Keep knocking and the Joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who's there.
The 'silly question' is the first intimation of some totally new development.
Alfred North Whitehead
Maybe that is the only way to exorcise ghosts - to become them.
Julia Alvarez, In The Name of Salome
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
E.C. Stanton
The importance of punctuation: The man says his wife is lazy. 'The man', says his wife, 'is lazy.'
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.
Rita Mae Brown
Money is the most egalitarian force in society. It confers power on whoever holds it.
Roger Starr
My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.
J. Brotherton
Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.
Bertolt Brecht, 1898-1956
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
John Cage
Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and to remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterwards.
St. Francis Xavier
What we think ourselves to be, that we are obliged to become.
Rudolf Steiner, Zurich, Nov.13, 1917
and if Satan rise up against himself, and be divided, he cannot stand, but hath an end.
Mark 3:26
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
Albert Camus
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Eden Phillpots
Wise people talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
To define a thing is to substitute the definition for the thing itself.
Georges Braque, French painter
Many are those who long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
Susan Ertz
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
Frank Herbert
The pain of not doing something, is greater than the pain of doing something.
William Dennis Miner
We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his own facts.
Patrick Moynihan
It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not pay with their own.
H. G. Wells
To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized needs of the human soul.
Simon Weil
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., 1841-1935
The real voyage of discovery lies not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.
Marcel Proust
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Oscar Wilde
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing!
George Bernard Shaw
We cannot do great things on this earth, we can only do small things with great care.
Mother Teresa
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
Winston Churchill, 1874-1965
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
Bill Vaughan
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Alfred Hitchcock
There are more valid facts and details in works of art than there are in history books.
Charlie Chaplin
Man does not cease to play because he grows old, he grows old because he ceases to play.
Drew Lachey
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few.
Shunryu Suzuki
A debugged program is one for which you have not yet found the conditions that make it fail.
Jerry Ogdin
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts... for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang
Cheerfulness and content are great beautifiers and famous preservers of good looks.
Charles Dickens
What man does not understand, he fears; and what he fears, he tends to destroy.
William Butler Yeats
Vertigo is not the fear of falling, but that we may not stop ourselves from jumping.
Alfred Hitchcock??
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Seymour Cray
No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness than disbelief in great men.
Thomas Carlyle
To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance.
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
Stanley Garn
After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an accident, it makes you wonder about history.
Dave Barry
If you can imagine it, you can create it. If you can dream it, you can become it.
William Arthur Ward
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.
Chinese Proverb
One hundred rounds does not constitute firepower. One hit contitutes firepower.
Gen. Merritt Edson, USMC
Dance is the only art of which we ourselves are the stuff of which it is made.
Ted Shawn, Time, July 1955
Capitalism makes networks. It doesn't make communities. Imagination makes communities.
Robert Hass, poet
A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.
Alan J. Perlis
Sometimes, I think Trent just needs a cup of hot chocolate and a blankie.
Tori Amos on Nine Inch Nails
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Maureen Dowd
It is not the bad people we have to worry about but the good people.
Reinhold Niebuhr, American Theologian
The happiness now is part of the sorrow then.
Joy Goodman, wife of C.S. Lewis, from the movie: Shadowlands
Nations have neither permanent friends nor permanent enemies, but only permanent interests.
Lord Acton
The supreme excellence is to subdue the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them.
Sun Tzu
That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
Thomas Jefferson
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Sir Francis Bacon
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.
Carl G. Jung
Happiness consists not in doing the things we like but in liking the things we have to do.
Wilfred Peterson
Do not dwell in the past, do not dwell in the future, concetrate the mind on the present moment.
I suspect that the more precisely you measure something, the less important it really is.
Daniel McCracken
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Ashleigh Brilliant
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
Eric Hoffer
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
Tom Stoppard
If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
Sun Tzu
Poor people are poor because they're lazy.
G.W. Bush to his Harvard Business School professor Yoshi Tsurumi
Be not dumb, obedient slaves in an army of destruction! Be heroes in an army of construction!
Helen Keller
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley, 1894 - 1963
We don't know what we are doing, but we are doing it very carefully.
Wherry, R.J. Personnel Psychology, 1995)
The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
Nelson Henderson
Joy's a subtil elf. I think man's happiest when he forgets himself.
Cyril Tourneur, 'The Revenger's Tragedy'
It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
Ursula K. LeGuin
If I have seen further than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.
Sir Isaac Newton
'One World, one Web, one Program'
Microsoft promotional Ad 'Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer' (Adolf Hitler)
Criticism is something we can avoid easily - by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing sheds more light on a view than exposing the errors that stand in its way.
Rudolf Steiner, TToKIIGWC
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
Robert Frost
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Albert Einstein
A being does not stand behind its manifestation, but rather comes into view through its manifestation.
He who is against something, can never be free of it, since then you're still defined in reference to it.
His is a dwindling point of death within a growing universe of joy...
Calvin Miller, The Finale, 1979
A 'hacker' is any person who derives joy from discovering ways to circumvent limitations.
Robert Bickford
It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.
The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.
Marcus Aurelius
Loud angry noise... is a reaction to the frustrations in society.
Peter, 'The Church', B-Side, April 1992
I spent thirty years getting an education, another thirty trying to get over it.
Sister Adrian Hofstetter
Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting thet they pass away.
Aitken Roshi
Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting thet they pass away.
Aitken Roshi
It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste.
Henry Ford, 1863-1947
Learning to distinguish individual differences from differences that can be acquired only through individuality.
When two people love each other, they don't look at each other, they look in the same direction.
Ginger Rogers
I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.
Mihkail Baryshnikov
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
The greater part of happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.
Martha Washington
I was playing poker the other night, with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln
The poor go to war, to fight and die for the delights, riches, and superfluities of others.
Plutarch, 46-120 AD
One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.
Alexander Smith, 1830-1867
Cowardice is wholly inconsistent with non-violence... non-violence presupposes the ability to strike.
A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions he is able to answer.
Ronald Coleman
Knowledge comes by taking things apart: analysis. But wisdom comes by putting things together.
John Morrison
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway
True worship of genius does not consist in collecting autographs, but in reading an author's works.
Henry James
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Winston Churchill, NYT, July 5 1954
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
John Muir
True poets don't write their thoughts with a pen; they release the ink that flows from within their heart.
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
Wolfgang Pauli, 1900-1958, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
Aldous Huxley
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
C.P. Snow
When a man blames others for his failures, it's a good idea to credit others for his successes.
Howard Newton
A mother is a woman with a twenty-five hour day who can still find an hour to play with her family.
Iris Peck
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
Woody Allen
One treats others with courtesy not because they are gentlemen or gentlewomen, but because you are.
G. Henrichs
No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Read not to accept nor to deny nor to agree nor to criticize or condemn but to weigh and consider.
Lord Bacon
When you speak to others for their own good it's advice; when they speak to you for your own good it's interference.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Kin Hubbard
Girls bored me - they still do. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
Walt Disney, 1901-1966
Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Sam Keen
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
Christopher Isherwood
My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.
Abraham Lincoln
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
Alice Kahn
It is harder to DO, than to be a critic; and further, he that does - will improve, and the critic will crumble.
Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large; I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman
What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The opinion of ten thousand men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.
Marcus Aurelius
Part of the secret to success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop.
Dr. Walter Gibbs
It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
Prof. Dumbledore; Harry Potter
If a woman wants to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to what is worst in him.
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan
The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.
Ross Perot
Don't worry about what anybody else is going to do. The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay
An age is called Dark, not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.
James A. Michener
True terror is to wake up one morning to discover that your high school class is running the country.
Kurt Vonnegut
If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Winnie the Pooh
When the world falls apart some things stay in place... Levi Stubb's tear's run down his face...
Billy Bragg
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Sir Francis Bacon, 1561-1626
The purpose of the office of the president is not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it.
Douglas Adams
Love is that condition in which The happiness of another person Is essential to your own.
Robert A. Heinlein
There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Apple Think Different Ad
Undoubtedly the desire for food has been and still is one of the main causes of political events.
Bertrand Russell
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
Christopher Caldwell
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao; the name that can be named is not the eternal name.
Tao Te Ching
Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born.
Gary Mark Gilmore
Phantastes from 'their fount' all shapes deriving, In new habilments can quickly dight.
Fletcher's 'Purple Island'
Nobody can draw a line that is not a border line. Every line splits a unity into a multiplicity.
M.C. Escher, 1958
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford
The purpose of life is to find out: Who am I? Why am I here? and Where am I going?
George Harrison
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin
War -- after all, what is it that the people get? Why -- widows, taxes, wooden legs and debt.
Samuel B. Pettengill
It only takes twenty years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
Robert Anton Wilson
Ideals are like stars. We may never reach them but, like the mariners, we can chart our course by them.
Carl Schurz
One does not discover new continents without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
Andre Gide
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
The one who wishes to create the new must calmly watch the old things pass away.
Steiner, The Souls Awakening, 1922
'What do you give a man who has everything?' the smart teenager asked her mother. 'Encouragement, dear', she replied.
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
I maintain the cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest motive for scientific research.
Albert Einstein
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Suess
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
We become what we are only by the radical and profound rejection of what others have said about us.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Pilfering Treasury property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are ruthless in punishing little thieves.
No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.
Robert Frost
Winners compare their achievments to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
Armonk NY, August 8, 2004
The full power of the computer is not available to an individual who owns one until he or she can program it.
Jef Raskin
Love consists in desiring to give what is our own to another and feeling his delight as our own.
Emanuel Swedenborg
Clouds are not spheres, mountains are not cones, and lightening does not travel in a straight line.
Benoit Mandelbrot
Success flourishes only in perseverance -- ceaseless, restless perseverance.
Manfred von Richthofen, aka 'The Red Baron'
The past is but the beginning of a beginning and all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn.
H.G. Wells
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
Theodore Roosevelt
We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Robin Williams, Good Morning Vietnam
Your security is in your own hands. Any nation that does not attack us will not be attacked.
Bin Laden, Oct. 29, 2004
Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.
James R. Cook
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
John Barrymore, 1882-1942
Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
By the time a man realises that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles Wadsworth
If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Anatole France (Jacques Anatole Thibault), 1844-1924
As a state gets corrupt, its laws multiply; the most corrupt states have the most numerous laws.
Tacitus, Annales 3:27
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.
Aldous Huxley
There is no such thing as chance; and what seems to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny.
As we cultivate peace and happiness in ourselves, we also nourish peace and happiness in those we love.
Thich Nhat Hanh
The English public take no interest in a work of art until it is told that the work in question is obscene.
Oscar Wilde
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
John Von Neumann
Narcolepulacyi, n.: The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also yawn.
Rich Hall, 'Sniglets'
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), 1835-1910
In still rest, in changeless simplicity, I bear, uninterupted, the consciousness of the whole of Humanity within me.
Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet, and I am you and what I see is me.
Roger Waters
Aye, fight! But not your neighbour. Fight rather all the things that cause you and your neighbour to fight.
Mikhail Naim
Earth's crammed with Heaven and every common bush is afire with God. But only he who sees takes off his shoes.
E.B. Browning
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Albert Einstein
When giving treats to friends or children, give them what they like, emphatically not what is good for them.
G. K. Chesterton
Expose yourself to the best things humans have done and then try to bring those things into what you are doing.
Steve Jobs
My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
Lee Iacocca
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!'
C. S. Lewis
Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.
Jalaluddin Rumi
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these:'It might have been!'
John Greenleaf Whittier, 'Maud Muller' 1854
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
Will Rogers
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
General George S. Patton
Once she ceased expecting, she ceased being angry, for anger is really disappointed hope.
Erica Jong, Parachutes and Kisses
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
Ambrose Redmoon
UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things.
Doug Gwyn
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Alexander Pope, 1688-1744, Letter to Gay, October 6, 1727
When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you know which half.
Jerome Perryman
Ah, let a man beware, when his wishes, fulfilled, rain down upon him, and his happiness is unbounded.
Fouque, Der Zauberring
If the boy and girl walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand in the last scene, it adds 10 million to the box office.
George Lucas
Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.
A.E. Houseman
It is said that a child learns wisdom from the parent, but the truly wise parent learns joy from the child.
Scott Stonefield
Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts inevitably bring about right results.
James Allen
A great teacher never strives to explain his vision, he simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.
R. Inman
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
George Bernard Shaw
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
Richard Feynman
Measuring software productivity by lines of code is like measuring progress on an aeroplane by how much it weighs.
Bill Gates
American policy -- [where] Destruction is freedom and democracy, while Resistance is terrorism and intolerance.
Bin Laden, Nov1-2004
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller
Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one's aim.
John D. Rockefeller
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
Rabindranath Tagore
If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would be fewer divorces - and more bankruptcies.
Frances Rodman
The most important factor in the success of an Animated Features has always been its Story.
David Koenig, 'Suspended Animation'
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them be good at taking orders.
Linda Festa
The dirty secret of art is you don't have to show people your bad writing. That's what we have the delete key for.
Robert McKee
Dictionaries are like watches, the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.
Samuel Johnson, 1755
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
George Macaulay Trevelyan
Miss Taggart, do you know the hallmark of the second-rater? It's resentment of another mans achievement.
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Wisdom is not communicable. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish.
Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
This gubblick contains many nonsklarkish English flutzpahs, but the overall pluggandisp can be glorked from context.
David Moser
When someone says 'I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,' give him a lollipop.
Alan J. Perlis
He sees in all beings the letters of an alphabet, which, united in man, form the complete and conscious Word of life.
Art can only be truly Art by presenting an adequate outward symbol of some fact in the interior life.
Margaret Fuller, 1810-1850
I think that I could turn and live with the animals... Not one of them is demented with the mania of owning things.
Walt Whitman
We don't own anything, we're only using what was left to us by our ancestors, and keeping it safe for our children.
Pamela Minns
Do not ever say that the desire to 'do good' by force is a good motive. Neither power-lust nor stupidity are good motives.
Ayn Rand
People who read Cosmopolitan magazine are very different from those who do not.
Donald Berry, Statistics: A Bayesian Perspective
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Robert Frost, 1874-1963
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin
The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization.
Mikhail Gorbachev
I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
The dignity of mankind is committed into your hands-- take care of it! For with you it declines or rises!
Schiller's call Artists
Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious.
George Orwell
But your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
Dr. Ian Malcolm
Evil is a good removed from its proper place... A good is only good if it has stood the test of evil.
Rudolf Steiner, Berlin, 1906
The care about money was like a great cancer, eating away the individuals of all classes.
D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one.
Agatha Christie
All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination?
Carl Jung, 1875-1961
...and until thou truly hast, this dying and becomming, Thou art but a troubled guest O'er the dark earth wandering.
The modern world is a crowd of very rapid racing cars all brought to a standstill and stuck in a block of traffic.
G. K. Chesterton
Any musical innovation is full of danger to the whole State... when modes of music change, the State always changes with them.
But Love is such a Mystery I cannot find it out. For when I think I'm best resolv'd, I then am in most doubt.
Sir John Suckling
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Jeremy S. Anderson
One day there will be no borders, no boundaries, no flags and no countries, and the only passport will be the heart.
Carlos Santana
Quiet is a moment that hides naked in a storm, and only the tenderness of secrecy will become the portal of thunder.
John Robertson
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
Albert Pike
May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love.
L.O. Baird
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915
What we call the begining is often the end, and to make an end is to make a begining. The end is where we started from.
T.S. Elliot
It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it only takes twenty seconds of war to destroy him.
King Baudouin I of Belgium
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.
Henry David Thoreau
What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth.
Norman Cousins
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus
We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we find in our travels is an honest friend.
Robert Louis Stevenson
I've always been bored with just making money. I've wanted to do things, wanted to build things, to get something going.
Walt Disney
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Stephen Butler Leacock
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
Sydney J. Harris
Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway.
Mary Kay Ash
First, I thought, almost despairing, This must crush my spirit now; Yet I bore it, and am bearing-- Only do not ask me how.
America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all.
John Adams
Sensuality often hastens the growth of love so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up.
Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em 'Certainly I can!' and then get busy and find out how to do it.
Theodore Roosevelt
All things share the same breath - the beast, the tree, the man, the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
Chief Seattle
We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence upon those who would do us harm.
George Orwell
Kaufmans Law: A policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence of a single incident, in which that incident is never mentioned.
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
Never tell people HOW to do things. Tell them WHAT to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
George S. Patton, U.S. General
In good sooth, my masters, this is no door. Yet is it a little window, that looketh upon a great world.
George MacDonald, 'Phantastes'
Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety over not to be thought poor.
Robert Mallett
Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
George Washington
If a head and a book come into collision and the resulting sound is hollow, the fault need not necessarily be that of the book!
When I became President, what surprised me most was that things were just as bad as I'd been saying they were.
John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963
Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture.
Bertrand Russell
Worry more about your character than your reputation. Character is what you are, reputation merely what others think you are.
John Wooden
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus
When a white army battles Indians and wins, it is called a great victory, but if they lose it is called a massacre.
Chiksika, Shawnee
The most important thing you say every day is what you say to yourself, for what you say to yourself is what you believe.
Charles R Swindoll
I often wonder if religion is the enemy of God. It's almost like religion is what happens when the Spirit has left the building.
Bono, U2
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Ogden Nash, 1902-1971
A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
Those who have likened our life to a dream were more right, by chance, than they realised. We are awake sleeping, and asleep awake.
We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97 percent of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Donald Knuth
As I was walking up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd go away.
Hugh Mearns
The musical element, however, does not live in me at all; it lives in inhalation and exhalation.
Steiner, March 7, 1923; Stuttgart; GA 283
I saw that all things I feared, and which feared me, had nothing good or bad in them save insofar as the mind was affected by them.
A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.
Sidney J. Harris
We sometimes congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream; it may be so the moment after death.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Let the mind be enlarged... to the grandeur of the mysteries, and not the mysteries contracted to the narrowness of the mind.
Francis Bacon
When I look at you and you look at me, we only see the skin. If we could look inside, I bet we'd find a Searcher there within.
Jeff Johnson
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is -nothing- like Shakespeare.
Blair Houghton
There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families.
Margaret Thatcher, Woman's Own, October 1987
I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
Charles Schulz
If we are going to stick to this damned quantum-jumping, then I regret that I ever had anything to do with quantum theory.
Erwin Schrodinger
You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution.
G. K. Chesterton
Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is just out of grasp. But if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
If Pacman had affected us as kids we'd be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to electronic music.
Marcus Brigstocke
It is unfortunately none too well understood that, just as the State has no money of its own, so it has no power of its own.
Albert J. Nock
I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.
Ursula K. Le Guin
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.
Katherine Hepburn
Plants are the lungs of a city. Leave at least six inches between wall and pavement to allow for natural growth; and if a tree grows -- let it.
The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
Douglas Engelbart, inventor of the Mouse
The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly.
J.D. Salinger, Nine Stories
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see better than he can think.
Ladies Home Journal
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
Edelsteins Advice
I dislike the French because because they do not speak English, but I abhor the Americans because they speak English badly.
Winston Churchill
Captain Kirk speaks figuratively, and with undue emotion, but what he says is essentially correct, and I do, in fact, agree with it.
Mr. Spock
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead
To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower. Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.
William Blake
In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.
Mortimer J. Adler
The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without comment.
Theodore H. White
A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. A good artist lets his intuition lead him wherever it wants.
Lao Zi
Don't try to develop a style. Ignore style. Just concentrate on drawing and style will occur.
Richard William's mother, Animator's Survival Kit
Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
Henry David Thoreau
They do not get their qualities from a class: they belong to that class because they have those qualities.
C.S. Lewis, 'Delinquents in the Snow'
The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
Frank Zappa
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas
Every program has
at leasttwo purposes: The one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't. (Alan Perlis, First President of the ACM)
The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.
Lew Mammel, Jr.
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Albert Einstein
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is you'll know exactly what to do.
Michelle Ventor
Midway this way of life we're bound upon, I woke to find myself in a dark wood, where the right road was wholly lost and gone.
Dante's Inferno
I am annoyed to find myself continually described, by people whom I have never set eyes on, as bad-tempered.
Evelyn Waugh, Diary December 26,1947
Most of the people who've made beautiful things seem to have done it by fixing something that they thought ugly.
Paul Graham,Taste for Makers 2002
So you can't dance? Not at all? Not even one step? How can you say that you've taken any trouble to live when you won't even dance?
Hermann Hesse
A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.
The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.
Harry V. Wade
I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell 'Whooa, I'm -way- too high.'
Bruce Baum
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Ogden Nash
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
A woman did what a woman had to, the best way she knew how. To do more was impossible, to do less, unthinkable.
Dirisha, 'The Man Who Never Missed'
The dignity of mankind is committed into your hands-- take care of it! For with you it declines or rises!
Schiller, Schiller's call to all artists.
Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.
Henry David Thoreau
Man for man the strength of non-violence is in exact proportion to the ability, not the will, of the non-violent person to inflict violence.
Different eyes see different things. Different hearts beat on different strings. But there are times for you and me when all such things agree.
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
There are two kinds of fools, one that says, 'This is old, and therefore good'; and one that says 'This is new, and therefore better'.
John Brunner
Doest thou aspire to the greatest, the highest? The plant will teach it to thee. What she is without will, be thou with will -- that's it!
An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way, an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way.
Charles Bukowski
It is terrible to find how little progress one's philosophy and charity have made when they are brought to the test of domestic life.
C.S. Lewis
Doest thou aspire to the greatest, the highest? The plant will teach it to thee. What she is without will, be thou with will -- that's it!
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
Russell Baker
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.
Bernard Avishai
From dreams of bliss shall men awake One day, but not to weep: The dreams remain; they only break The mirror of the sleep.
Jean Paul, Hesperus
Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions.
J.D. Salinger, Nine Stories
A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it.
Mr. Dryden from Lawrence of Arabia
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood.
Logan P. Smith
I said it before, and I'll say it again, Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Ferris Bueller
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Sarah Williams
Only as high as I reach can I grow Only as far as I seek can I go Only as deep as I look can I see Only as much as I dream can I be.
Karen Ravn
When in the passage of our life of soul experience, we finally shed this mortal coil, then oh joy! we finally find ourselves returned home to the light!!
I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.
Michael Jordan
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it's only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour.
Vince Lombardi
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Calvin; Bill Watterson
When you hate someone, the way they hold their spoon annoys you; when you love someone, they could spill a bowl of soup in your lap, and you wouldn't mind.
Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.
Putt's Law
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratcliffe
Men are fighting... because they are convinced that the extermination of adversaries is the only means of promoting their own well-being.
Ludwig von Mises
I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
Franklin P. Adams, 1881-1960
...consciousness resembles less a spark located within the brain than it resembles a diffused light focused into the whole body from without.
Owen Barfield
If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Weinberg's Second Law
Every man is working out his destiny in his own way and nobody can be of help except by being kind, generous and patient.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn
But the night was as troublesome to him as the day; wherefore instead of sleeping, he spent it in sighs and tears.
John Paul Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress
I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.
Aristotle, 384 BC - 322 BC, from Diogenes Laertius
In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until its too late.
Bruce Sterling
Life is full of a thousand red herrings, and it takes the history of a civilisation to work out which are the red herrings and which aren't.
Peter Greenaway
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
Bertrand Russell
If you your lips would keep from slips, Five things observe with care; To whom you speak, of whom you speak, And how, and when, and where.
W.E. Norris
The fourth dimension is commonly reckoned as being TIME; yet, a different understanding arises when one considers the fourth dimension to be not time, but HEAT!
Facts which at first seem improbable will, even on scant explanation, drop the cloak which has hidden them and stand forth in naked and simple beauty.
When I arise in the morning, I am torn by the twin desires to reform the world and to enjoy the world. This makes it difficult to plan my day.
T.S. Eliot
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain
Thou who has given me eyes to see and love this sight so fair Give me a heart to find thee out and read thee everywhere
Keble, from Jeff Johnson, Icons
When each piece of a shape is geometrically similar to the whole, both the shape and the cascade that generates it are called self-similair.'
Benoit Mandlebrot
The courage to rage and kill is cheap. I have an English bull terrier who has as much of that sort of courage.
Sergius, in Bernard Shaw's 'Arms and the Man'
If you kill one person you are a murderer. If you kill ten people you are a monster. If you kill ten thousand you are a national hero.
Vassilis Epaminondou
In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them.
Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk
If you kill one person you are a murderer. If you kill ten people you are a monster. If you kill ten thousand you are a national hero.
Vassilis Epaminondou
There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.
John Adams
Nature uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns, so each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization of the entire tapestry.
Richard Feynman
You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.
Max DePree, 'Leadership is an Art'
It is a tragic mix-up when the United States spends $500,000 for every enemy soldier killed, and only $53 annually on the victims of poverty.
Martin Luther King
He is drawn and lets himself fall. He is drawn by his goal, for he does not allow anything to enter his mind which opposes his goal.
Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
I find my zenith doth depend upon a most auspicious star, whose influence if now I court not, but omit, my fortunes will ever after droop.
Shakespeare's Tempest
He is drawn and lets himself fall. He is drawn by his goal, for he does not allow anything to enter his mind which opposes his goal.
Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been kindness, beauty and truth.
Albert Einstein
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
Albert Einstein
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.
Mark Twain
Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is 'finding his place in it,' while really it is finding its place in him.
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters
To adhere to the darwinian idea is of course just as unoriginal as to adhere to the creation idea; for both thoughts come furnished and supplied from without.
Reverence awakens in the soul a sympathetic power through which we attract qualities in the beings around us, which would otherwise remain concealed.
Steiner, KoHW
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
Helen Keller
I believe that true education accepts the greatness of a personality and corrects small errors, or brings incompleted thoughts to conclusion.
Rudolf Steiner, FNFFF
If men can run the world why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the morning by tying a little noose around your neck?
Linda Ellerbee
The virtues of mercy, non-violence, love and truth in any man can be truly tested only when they are pitted against ruthlessness, violence, hate and untruth.
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different.
By idolising those whom we do honour, we do a disservice both to them and to ourselves. We fail to recognise that we could go and do likewise.
Charles V. Willie
After all, somebody had to make a start. What we said is believed by many others, only they don't dare speak up.
Sophie Scholl, at her trial in Nazi Germany
If once the people become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I and Congress and assemblies, judges and governors, shall all become wolves.
Thomas Jefferson
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the morning by tying a little noose around your neck?
Linda Ellerbee
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
The Buddha
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Hellen Keller
The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.
George Orwell
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going.
Christopher Darlington Morley [1890-1957]
Love knows no reasons, Love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons, Love has no eyes. But love is not blind, Love sees but doesn't mind.
Author unknown
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.
Alfred Hitchcock
A man who says that no patriot should attack the war until it is over... is saying no good son should warn his mother of a cliff until she has fallen.
G. K. Chesterton
Humans are amphibians -- half spirit and half animal... As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
William Henley, in Invictus
What makes two people friends is not that they have the same point of view on a given subject, but rather that they find a given subject worthy of discussion.
C.S. Lewis
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
Bertrand Russell
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, 'You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing.'
Sir Arnold Bax
The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.
Katharine Hepburn
Very few people chose war, They chose selfishness and the result was war. Each of us, individually and nationally, must choose: total love or total war.
Dave Dellinger
After a time, you may find that 'having' is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as 'wanting'. It is not logical, but it is often true.
Spock, 'Amok Time', Stardate 3372.7
People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, 'Why wasn't it done the other way?'
Oliver Wendell Holmes
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.
Colin Powell
I have always considered that the substitution of the Internal Combustion Engine for the horse marked a very gloomy passage in the progress of mankind.
Winston Churchill
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great.
Mark Twain
I have learned the novice can often see things that the expert overlooks. All that is necessary is not to be afraid of making mistakes, or of appearing naive.
Abraham Maslow
It is after all not without reason that, whereas digestion cannot become the object of digestion, thinking can very well become the object of thinking...
Rudolf Steiner, PoF
and still i don't succeed. I feel it, yet i cannot grasp it. I can't retain it, nor forget it. and if I grasp it, I cannot measure it.
Wagner, The Meistersingers
It may be that when the angels go about their task praising God, they play only Bach. I am sure, however, that when they are together en famille they play Mozart.
Karl Barth
I have always considered that the substitution of the Internal Combustion Engine for the horse marked a very gloomy passage in the progress of mankind.
Winston Churchill
Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened.
Gerald W. Johnston
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881
Laws to suppress tend to strengthen what they would prohibit. This is the fine point on which all the legal professions of history have based their job security.
Frank Herbert
You can please all of the people some of the time, and you can please some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
Richard Nixon
How difficult it is... to refrain from replacing the thing with its sign, to keep the object alive before us instead of killing it with the word.
Goethe, Theory of Colour 754
They say you hurt the ones you love, but I don't think its true -- The ones you love are just most prepared to be hurt by the things you do.
Gerard Langley, The Blue Aeroplanes
Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
Dalai Lama
I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light.
Isaac Newton, 1642-1727
'Where is the stream?' cried he, with tears. 'Seest thou not its blue waves above us?' He looked up, and lo! the blue stream was flowing gently over their heads.
Novalis, HvO
As the thoughts move in the mind of a man, so move the worlds of men and women in the mind of God...the offspring of his imagination. Man is but a thought of God.
George MacDonald
The sufi saint Rabiah was asked: 'And dost thou regard the evil one as an enemy?' With a smile Rabiah replied, 'I love the Lord so much that I do not trouble about the evil one.'
If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought and could be.
Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful, that's what matters to me.
Steve Jobs, Apple and Pixar CEO
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much, it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
My attitude toward progress has passed from antagonism to boredom. I have long ceased to argue with people who prefer Thursday to Wednesday because it is Thursday.
G. K. Chesterton
Your paradigm is so intrinsic to your mental process that you are hardly aware of its existence, until you try to communicate with someone with a different paradigm.
Donella Meadows
Everything on the earth has a purpose, every disease an herb to cure it, and every person a mission. This is the Indian theory of existence.
Mourning Dove [1888-1936], Salish
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer
'Yes,' [Sherlock Holmes] answered, 'there are in me the makings of a very fine loafer, and also of a pretty spry sort of a fellow.'
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of Four, 1890
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer
Earlier generations of machines decreased the complexity of tasks. In contrast, information technologies can increase the intellectual content of work at all levels.
Shoshana Zuboff
Now we see through a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face; Now I know in part, but then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
I Corintians 13:12
Goethe saw darkness not as a mere absence of light, but standing in the same relattion to light as the north and south poles of a magnet -- with colour arising from their interplay.
In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him.
Scott Adams
An efficient organization is one in which the accounting department knows the exact cost of every useless administrative procedure which they themselves have initiated.
E.W.R. Steacie
This is exactly where one has to be tremendously careful, for where you get the best things you also have the greatest mischief done.
Rudolf Steiner, Dornach, February 2, 1924; GA 352
Each innocent person that is killed must be added to, not set off against, the grisly toll of civilians who died in New York and Washington.
Arundhati Roy, speaking in response to 9-11
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
Michel de Montaigne, 1533-1592
I saw thee ne'er before; I see thee never more; But love, and help, and pain, beautiful one, Have made thee mine, till all my years are done.
Song of the Beech Tree, 'Phantastes'
The stored-program digital computer has three major attributes: it is fast, it is accurate, and it is stupid. The first two attributes are often used to disguise the third.
P.J. Plauger
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.
Ross Perot
Thinking has the same significance with respect to ideas as the eye has with respect to light, the ear to tone. It is an organ of apprehension.
Rudolf Steiner, Goethean Science, 1883
That which is in a man, not that which lies beyond his vision is the main factor in what is about to befall him: the operation upon him is the event.
George Macdonald, Lillith XVI, 1895).
Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.
John Ruskin
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
Bertrand Russell
Who'll know aught living and describe it well, Seeks first the spirit to expel. He then has the component parts in hand -- but lack, alas! the spirit's band.
Goethe, Mephistopheles
A day is a breath. Humans average 25,290 breaths per day; and 25,290 days in their life. The Earth precesses on its axis, completeing the cycle through the constellations in 25,290 years.
My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
Pablo Picasso
However gradual the course of history, there must always be the day, even an hour and minute, when some significant action is performed for the first or last time.
Peter Quennell
'[Myths are] lies and therefore worthless, even though breathed through silver,' [said Lewis]. 'No,' said Tolkien, 'They are not lies. '
As recorded by Humphrey Carpenter in The Inklings
Do not forget that you are dealing with air! Think of your fingers as delicate butterfly wings, and you will get much further than if you use strength.
Clara Rockmore, on Theramin Method
What should move us to action is human dignity: the inalienable dignity of the oppressed, but also the dignity of each of us. We lose dignity if we tolerate the intolerable.
Dominique de Menil
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P. G. Wodehouse, 1881-1975, The Man Upstairs
You can now flame me, I am full of love, and will ignore any insults, because that is how good my Gnus filter is... Let the love come back to this activity.
Miguel de Icaza, keeper of the Gnome
I believe that true education accepts the greatness of a personality and corrects small errors, or brings incompleted thoughts to conclusion.
Rudolf Steiner, from 'Nietzsche-Fighter for Freedom'
Can anything be more ridiculous than that a man should have the right to kill me because he lives on the other side of the water, and because his ruler has a quarrel with mine.
Blaise Pascal
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate; to have it make some difference that you have lived, and lived well.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
'What,' he [Goethe] once said to me, staring at me with his Jupiter-like eyes, 'Light should only exist in as much as it is seen? No! You would not exist if the light did not see you!'
I know a lot of women musicians and too many of them are not interested in playing with the silly little machines in order to get their song across.
Steve, 'The Church', B-Side, April 1992
Those who are able to transform evil into good are more powerful than those who rule over the good and make it, possibly, a little better.
Steiner, 'The East in Light of the West', August 25, 1909
Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.
Nikola Tesla
That which is in a man, not that which lies beyond his vision is the main factor in what is about to befall him: the operation upon him is the event.
George MacDonald, Lillith-XVI, 1895
Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility... in the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have... is the ability to take on responsibility.
Michael Korda
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
Brian W. Kernighan
Do not think of your faults, still less of others' faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes.
John Ruskin
Maybe that was why poets and artists were needed by the human race: because everyone felt like an alien, but poets were the ones who knew how to express it in words.
Erica Jong, Parachutes and Kisses
The light of the body is the eye. If therefore, thine eye be clear, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, they whole body shall be full of darkness.
Matthew 6:22
Inspection with the aim of finding the bad ones and throwing them out is too late, ineffective, and costly. Quality comes not from inspection but from improvement of the process.
W. Edwards Deming
We do not truly see light, we only see slower things lit by it, so that for us light is on the edge--the last thing we know before things become too swift for us.
C.S. Lewis, 'Out of the Silent Planet'
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern.
William Blake
The first thing to learn in intercourse with others is noninterference with their own peculiar ways of being happy, provided those ways do not assume to interfere by violence with ours.
William James
Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Programmers are achievement oriented; give them an impossible task, and they'll do their best to give you what they think you would have asked for if you had a clue as to what was possible.
Peter Coffee
Murderers, observed one FBI official who has studied profiles of serial killers, very often start out by killing and torturing animals as kids.
Doug Drapper, 'For the Love of Animals', Newspulse Niagara
I come now to the pleasures of the farmer, in which I take amazing delight. These are not hindered by any extent of old age, and seem to me to approach nearest to the ideal wise man's life.(Cicero
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.
William A. Foster
I've been limited by my material, but at the same time, within the limitation, I've found freedom. I don't know-- perhaps my expression is even deeper because of the limits.
Jean-Claude Gaugy, Painter
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
Franklin D. Roosevelt, Inaugural Address, 1933
In a work of art everything depends upon the degree to which the artist has implanted the idea into his medium. The main thing is not what his subject is but rather how he handles it.
Steiner, TTOKIIGWC-21
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854
The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of frendship or affection.
Bertrand Russel
The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; ho took my measurment anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me.
George Bernard Shaw
We took all unecessary weight out of the buildings to make them as light as possible. It is often thought that heaviness is synonymous with strength. In my opinion it is just the opposite.
Mies van der Rohe
Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers of the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.
Popular Mechanics, March 1949
Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one.
Ben Franklin
Come my friends -- 'tis not too late to seek a newer world. It may be that the gulfs will wash us dowwn; it may be we shall touch the happy isles -yet- our purpose holds -- to sail beyond the sunset.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Robert Wilensky
It is the main earthly business of a human being to make his home, and the immediate surroundings of his home, as symbolic and significant to his own imagination as he can.
G. K. Chesterton, The Coloured Lands
The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of frendship or affection.
Bertrand Russell
The sordid qualities imputed to the enemy are always those which we recognize as our own and therefore rise to slay, because only through projection do we realize the horror of them.
Henry Miller on Writing
A dead dog is lying on the road. Among the passersby is Christ. All the others turn away from the ugly sight; only Christ pauses and speaks admiringly of the animal's beautiful teeth.
Persian Legend
There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Bjarne Stroustrup, inventor of C
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely
The noble heart that harbours vertuous thought And is with childe of glorious great intent, Can never rest, until it forth have brought Th' eternall brood of glorie excellent.
Spenser, 'The Faerie Queene'
At these words the Jews were again divided. Many of them said, 'He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?' But others said, 'These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon.'
John 10:19
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia
The secret of happiness is this: Let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.
Bertrand Russell
The sons of Hermes love to play, and only do their best when they are told they oughtn't; Apollo's children never shrink from boring jobs but have to think their work important.
W. H. Auden, Upon Which Lyre
If you're in a classroom, you're in an enclosed space, so your mind is also enclosed. It's not outside the box. Once you're outside, you're free and your mind is free.
Shahzad Billimoria, Australian Student, 2005
Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents, It was loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children.
Native American Proverb
Whatever we try to deny or reject is precisely what we have need of; it is our very need which often paralyzes us from welcoming a
good or badexperience. (Henry Miller, Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch)
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more user-friendly... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'User-Friendly' on the cover.
Bill Gates
The Postulate: In the sphere of the given there must be something in relation to which our activity does not hover in emptiness, but where the content of the world itself enters this activity.
Rudolf Steiner, TK
In whatever a photographer does, there must be a relatioship between the eye and the heart. With the one eye that is closed, one looks within; with the other eye that is open, one looks without.
Henri Cartier-Bresson
What you decide to be is what you are. Break the shakles its up to you. Be your own master its up to you. What I Decide to be is what I am. I want to stretch myself to be who I am.
Stereolab, Our Tritone Blast
The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and the root password.
Elizabeth Zwicky, administrator, Silicon Graphics
We are born at a given moment, in a given place and, like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season of which we are born. Astrology does not lay claim to anything more.
Carl Gustav Jung
It is my deepest belief that only by giving our lives do we find life. The truest act of courage, the strongest act of manliness, is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a non-violent struggle for justice.
Cesar Chavez
The meaning of things and their purpose, is in part now hidden but shall in the end become clear. The choice is between the Mystery and the absurd. To embrace the Mystery is to discover the real.
Cardinal Basil Hume
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
A children's story which is only enjoyed by children is a bad children's story... No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally
and often far more worth reading at the age of fifty. (C.S. Lewis)
It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favourite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.
Nick Hornby, 'High Fidelity'
You've got to sing like you don't need the money, Love like you'll never get hurt. You've got to dance like no one is watching, It's gotta come from the heart, if you want it to work.
Susannah Clark and Richard Leigh
It may be that we are puppets-puppets controlled by the strings of society. But at least we are puppets with perception, with awareness. And perhaps our awareness is the first step to our liberation.
Stanley Milgram
You go slow, be gentle. It's no one-way street -- you know how you feel and that's all. It's how the girl feels too. Don't press. If the girl feels anything for you at all, you'll know.
Kirk, 'Charlie X', Stardate 1535.8
Most people are on the world, not in it -- have no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them -- undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching, but separate.
John Muir
Everything that is new or uncommon raises a pleasure in the imagination, because it fills the soul with an agreeable surprise, gratifies its curiosity, and gives it an idea of which it was not before possessed.
Joseph Addison
By the intensity of hatred, the nations create in themselves, the characters they imagine in their enemies. Hence it is that all passionate conflicts result in the exchange of characteristics.
AE George William Russell
Perhaps your little son, because you would like to see him spared sorrow and pain and disillusionment? But if you were to die ten times for him, you would not alter his destiny in the slightest.
Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
Colours first appear at the edges between Light and Dark. The continuous spectrum with green in the middle arises only where the
blue-cyan and yellow-rededges come close enough to overlap. (From Goethe's Colour Theory)
When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, 'til it seems as if you couldn't hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that's just the place and time that the tide'll turn.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
My advice to graduates is to do anything except what you are trained for. Take that training to a place where it is out of place and stimulate ideas, shake up establishments, and don't take no for an answer.
Nicholas Negroponte
I wonder what the engineers, technicians, and workers who make weapons all day long for killing their neighbour can possibly be thinking of. They're not working for a living; they're working for dying.
Adolfo Perez Esquivel
Try living one day without any unhealthy thoughts. It may be very difficult, but try another day, until it becomes habitual, and life will move in the direction of becoming healthy, vital, and alive.
Norman Vincent Peale
Be sure that it is not you that is mortal, but only your body. For that man whom your outward form reveals is not yourself; the spirit is the true self, not that physical figure which can be pointed out by your finger.
We are accustomed to say that the truth makes men free. It does nothing of the kind. It is the knowledge of the truth that creates freedom. 'Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'
Ernest H. Cherrington
Practically speaking, a life that is vowed to simplicity, appropriate boldness, good humour, gratitude, unstinting work and play, and lots of walking brings us close to the actual existing world and its wholeness.
Gary Snyder
I guess the moral of the story is that safety is not a place where love prospers. Love is its own shelter and it gives no great concern for mortality but rather it causes the soul to exceed it's mortal boundaries.
Scott Cooper
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night', Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.
Psalm 139:11-12
Modern invention has been a great leveller. A machine may operate far more quickly than a political or economic measure to abolish privilege and wipe out the distinctions of class or finance.
Ivor Brown, The Heart of England
Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
J. R. Tolkien
He knocked to awaken, but it was himself he awakened. And once awake, he is no longer concerned with the world of sleep; he walks in the light and, like a mirror, reflects his illumination in every act.
Henry Miller on Writing
He knocked to awaken, but it was himself he awakened. And once awake, he is no longer concerned with the world of sleep; he walks in the light and, like a mirror, reflects his illumination in every act.
Henry Miller on Writing
Down from the loftiest star, A splendour falls to the earth, And draws desire from afar, To that which gave it birth. So love and heavenly fire and counsel wise. The noble heart finds most in starlike eyes.
There is a difference between a book of two hundred pages from the very beginning, and a book of two hundred pages which is the result of an original eight hundred pages. The six hundred are there. Only you don't see them.
Elie Wiesel
We don't think that televisions and personal computers are going to merge. We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.
Steve Jobs, Macworld 20th
The arts not only imbue our sense of sight, balance, movement, touch and hearing, they also lift our logical minds - the traditional focus of modern education - into the reaches of possibility, invention and genius.
Eugene Schwartz
The arts not only imbue our sense of sight, balance, movement, touch and hearing, they also lift our logical minds - the traditional focus of modern education - into the reaches of possibility, invention and genius.
Eugene Schwartz
To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
Theodore Roosevelt, 1918
Practice random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty. Kindness can build on itself. Anything you think there should be more of, do it randomly. Don't wait for reasons! It will make itself be more, senselessly.
Anne Herbert
Mistakes are only sins when -not- admitted. It is when human beings actually realize and admit that they have made a mistake that they are the closest to that 'mysterious integrity' that governs the universe.
R. Buckminster Fuller
It goes against the grain of modern education to teach children to program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
Alan J. Perlis
The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.
John Stuart Mill
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator
A piece of brain the size of a grain of rice contains 1 million nerve cells, 10 billion synapses and 20 MILES of axons. Each of these nerve cells both 'hears from' and 'talks to' 10,000 other cells.
The Salk Institute for Biological Studies
In fact, I've often thought that there isn't any 'I' at all; that we are simply the means of expression of something else; that when we think we are ourselves, we are simply the victims of a delusion.
Aleister Crowley, Diary of a Drug Fiend
When Roman engineers built a bridge, they had to stand under it while the first legion marched across. If programmers today worked under similar ground rules, they might well find themselves getting much more interested in Ada!
Robert Dewar
No word meaning 'art' occurs in Aivilik, nor does 'artist': there are only people. Nor is any distinction made between utilitarian and decorative objects. The Aivilik say simply, 'A man should do all things properly.'
Edmund Carpenter, Eskimo
Wild Nights! Wild Nights! Were I with thee, wild nights would be our luxury. Futile the winds to a heart in port. Gone with the compass Gone with the chart -- Rowing in Eden. Ah the Sea! Might I but moor -- Tonight in thee.
Emily Dickinson
Happiness is like a cat, If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay not attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap.
William Bennett
If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
Fred Rogers
Dafne: But who is far from love? Tirsi: He who fears and flies. Dafne: What use to flee to one who has wings? Tirsi: The wings of love, while he yet grows, are short. --Amor nascente ha corte l'ali!--
Aminta, Act II, Scene II; Zanoni
The best thing you can do for your fellow, next to rousing his conscience, is--not to give him things to think about, but to wake things up that are in him; or say, to make him think things for himself.
George MacDonald, The Fantastic Imagination
'My relationship to power and authority is that I'm all for it. People need somebody to watch over them,' he explained. 'Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave.'
Arnold Schwartzenegger, Nov 1990
We don't need a lot of economic growth to address the problem of the world's poor. We put subsistence farmers out of business because that's our choice. Clean water would do more to alleviate disease than high tech medicine.
Bill Joy, Wired 11.2003
A man comes to a point in his life when he concludes that he cannot find any definite reasons for truth or for life. To find purpose he has to take a leap of faith which has no rationality behind it at all.
Soren Kierkegaard of Denmark, 19th Century
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854
Ordinary Man -- has a home, has a family; and Ordinary Plans, granting peace and affluency. But something deep inside, lashes out like a lion; Yes -- something isn't right, so he tries to conceal it.
Jeff Johnson, 'The Face of the Deep', 1980
Our repeated failure to fully act as we would wish must not discourage us. It is the sincere intention that is the essential thing, and this will in time release us from the bondage of habits which at present seem almost insuperable.
Thomas Troward
The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.
G. K. Chesterton, ILN, 4-19-1924
Solitude is independence. It had been my wish and with the years I had attained it. It was cold. Oh, cold enough! But it was also still, wonderfully still and vast like the cold stillness of space in which the stars revolve.
Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf
It is not towards enlightenment where we each need to journey but as simple as the chances that life brings to us. as simple as the chances; to add love or not. Its as simple as that, but somewhere we forgot.
Michael Omejer - Ode to The Traveller, 1995
The best way to prepare [to be a programmer] is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Centre and fished out listings of their operating system.
Bill Gates
Every activity meets with opposition, everyone who acts has his rivals and unfortunately opponents also. But not because people want to be opponents, rather because the tasks and relationships force people to take different points of view.
Dr. Fritz Todt
1. Beginning dancer. Knows nothing. 2. Intermediate dancer. Knows everything. Too good to dance with beginners. 3. Hotshot dancer. Too good to dance with anyone. 4. Advanced dancer. Dances everything. Especially with beginners.
Dick Crum, Folk-dancer & Teacher
It has taken me years of struggle, hard work and research to learn to make one simple gesture, and I know enough about the art of writing to realize that it would take as many years of concentrated effort to write one simple, beautiful sentence.
Isadora Duncan
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack Ships on fire off the shores of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark off of Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears, in rain. Time to die.
Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
Patrick Overton
I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: 'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair'. In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.
Bertrand Russell, Education and the Social Order
A typical cumulous cloud weights the equivalent of approximately 200,000 elephants. The amount of water in a hurricane weighs more than forty-million elephants.
Peggy LeMone, Senior scientist at the National Centre for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colorado
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
C. A. R. Hoare
The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; for happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.
Charles Langbridge Morgan
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me, And what can be the use of him is more than I can see. He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head; And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.
'My Shadow', Robert Louis Stevenson [1850-1894]
I see now that the path I choose... makes me what I am. I am not only a thing, but also a way of being - one of many ways - and knowing the paths I have followed and the ones left to take will help me understand what I am becoming.
Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon
Every man is eternally alone. But when you get mixed up with a fairly decent crowd, you forget that appalling fact for long enough to give your brain time to recover from the acute symptoms of its disease - that of thinking.
Aleister Crowley, Diary of a Drug Fiend
Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar. I feel like I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy! But then I just take a deep breath and forget about it. That's what is known as real maturity.
I do not need to explain why I say things. - That's the interesting thing about being the President. - Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation.
George W. Bush, to Bob Woodward, 60 Minutes, Nov. 17, 2002
The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people look back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred experiences.
Eugene Kennedy
You know of old my ways of settling anywhere, of selecting a little cottage in some cosy spot, and of putting up in it with every inconvenience. Here, too, I have discovered such a snug, comfortable place, which possesses peculiar charms for me.
Goethe, Werther - May 26
Man doth usurp all space, Stares thee, in rock, bush, river, in the face. Never yet thine eyes behold a tree; 'Tis no sea thou seest in the sea, 'Tis but a disguised humanity. To avoid thy fellow, vain thy plan; All that interests a man, is man.
Henry Sutton
Case had always taken it for granted that the real bosses, the kingpins in a given industry, would be both more and less than people... He'd always imagined it as a gradual and willing accommodation of the machine, the system, the parent organism.
William Gibson, Neuromancer
All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted.
Frank Herbert
One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!
Winston Churchill
It's hard to believe that something which is neither seen nor felt can do so much harm. --That's true. But an idea can't be seen or felt; and that's what kept the Troglytes in the mines all these centuries. A mistaken idea.
Vanna and Kirk, 'The Cloud Minders', Stardate 5819.0
In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors, for, from the time of Jefferson onward, the doctrine that all men are equal applies only upwards, not downwards.
Bertrand Russell
Everything tends to make us believe that there exists a certain point of the mind at which life and death, the real and the imagined, past and future, the communicable and the incommunicable, high and low, cease to be perceived as contradicitons.
Andre Breton, 1896-1966
On two occasions I have been asked
by members of Parliament!), 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. (Charles Babbage
I believe that today more than ever a book should be sought after even if it has only one great page in it: we must search for fragments, splinters, toenails, anything that has ore in it, anything that is capable of resuscitating the body and soul.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer
It is well enough known that if you dig deep in any old garden, such as this one, ancient perhaps forgotten flowers will appear. The fashion has changed, they have been neglected or uprooted, but all the time their life is hid below.
George MacDonald, Surgeon in 'Paul Faber'
I know war as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolitionment, as its very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a method of settling international disputes.
Douglas MacArthur
There she looks like a painting... Jackson Pollock's Number Five. Come into the forest and taste the trees... The sun starts shining, and I'm hard to please... Ring a ding ding, I'm going down; All thoughts of sleep desert me, There is no time...
Stone Roses, Going Down
Tomorrow, I will continue to be. But you will have to be very attentive to see me. I will be a flower, or a leaf. I will be in these forms and I will say hello to you. If you are attentive enough, you will recognize me, and may greet me. I will be very happy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
When I fail to practice for one day, I can tell the difference in my playing. When I fail to practice for two days, my family can tell the difference. When I fail to practice for three days, the whole world can tell the difference.
Jascha Heifetz, concert violinist
In the lap of modern civilization there are twin worlds struggling with each other for leadership. But these two worlds are not, as people are apt to think, Europe and America. Their names are Quality and Quantity.
Guglielmo Ferrero, The Atlantic, Nov. 1913, 'The Riddle of America'
As the biggest library if it is in disorder is not as useful as a small but well-arranged one, so you may accumulate a vast amount of knowledge but it will be of far less value than a much smaller amount if you have not thought it over for yourself.
Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena v2
There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible to live without breaking laws.
Ayn Rand
We tend to overlook our selfishness, to almost forgive ourselves for it in advance. We fudge things to get ahead without thinking about it much or meaning to. There are many levels of falsity, conscious and unconscious, in the way we live.
Tobias Wolff, in 'The Writing Obsession,' Atlantic Monthly
We broke up before we [the Dead Kennedys] sucked so don't ask about any reunions. I love punk music but punk nostalgia is poison just like any nostalgia is poison. This is what happens when people listen to nothing but other punk music or metal, etc.
Jello Biafra, Spreading the Positive Disease
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I've lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Two souls, alas, are housed within my breast, and each will wrestle for the mastery there. The one has passion's cravings crude for love, and hugs a world where sweet the senses rage; the other strongly rises from the gloom to lofty heights of ancient heritage.
Goethe, Faust I, Scene 2
Sense-perceptible reality is such a riddle to us precisely because we do not find its centre within itself. It ceases to be a riddle to us when we recognize that sense-perceptible reality has the same centre as the thought-world that comes to manifestation within us.
Steiner, Goethean Science, GA1
Tenderness emerges from the fact that the two persons, longing, as all individuals do, to overcome the separateness and isolation to which we are all heir because we are individuals, can participate in a relationship that, for the moment, is not of two isolated selves but a union.
Rollo May
Nothing distresses me more than to see men torment each other; particularly when in the flower of their age, in the very season of pleasure, they waste their few short days of sunshine in quarrels and disputes, and only percieve their error when it is too late to repair it.
Goethe, Werther
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity... and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.
William Blake, 1757-1827
Should your glance on mornings lovely Lift to drink the heaven's blue Or when sun, vieled by sirocco, Royal red sinks out of view -- Give to Nature praise and honour. Blithe of heart and sound of eye, Knowing for the world of colour Where its broad foundations lie.
Goethe, 'Skyward'
This Pangram contains four a's, one b, two c's, one d, thirty e's, six f's, five g's, seven h's, eleven i's, one j, one k, two l's, two m's, eighteen n's, fifteen o's, two p's, one q, five r's, twenty-seven s's, eighteen t's, two u's, seven v's, eight w's, two x's three y's, & one z.
Lee Sallows, 1984
Although scientists themselves are well aware of the importance of the free exchange of information within the research community, a community that transcends national boundaries, the public may not necessarily be convinced that scientists can be trusted to this extent.
Abigail Salyers, Science, April 2002
We are becoming like cats, slyly parasitic, enjoying an indifferent domesticity. Nice and snug in the social, our historic passions have withdrawn into the glow of an artificial coziness, and our half-closed eyes now seek little other than the peaceful parade of television pictures.
Jean Baudrillard
The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
John Cleese, Ministry of Silly Walks
Monty Python's usual schoolboy humour is here let loose on a period of history appropriately familiar to every schoolboy in the West, and a faith which could be shaken by such good-humoured ribaldry would be a very precarious faith indeed.
British Board Of Film Censors, in their report on 'Life of Brian'
Libra thus seems best understood as a process rather than a result: it is the active moment of balancing, or trying to maintain balance, rather than any sort of static or permanent state... The Golden Mean then is equilbrium, a dynamic asymetrical state of balance, alive with precarious possibility.
Rob Baker
Goethe... never rejected anything entirely... [he] said to himself, 'If so many people find so much in Kant, one must let them; indeed, one must make an effort to examine somenthing which to oneself seems not very significant -- and perhaps one will find a hidden significance in it after all'.
Steiner, GA 188
These moments make your heart retreat They open your eyes Find out what you could do And all that's left for me to do is to come back down inside... Well I live in this place With a natural grace As I walk through confusion With a smile... With a smile on my face.
Ride, Natural Grace
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. Just as a continuously growing cancer eventually destroys its life-support systems by destroying its host, a continuously expanding global economy is slowly destroying its host- the Earth's ecosystem.
Edward Abbey, State of the World report, 1998
I am credited with being one of the hardest workers and perhaps I am, if thought is the equivalent of labour, for I have devoted to it almost all of my waking hours. But if work is interpreted to be a definite performance in a specified time according to a rigid rule, then I may be the worst of idlers.
Nikola Tesla
That which exists through itself is called The Eternal. The Eternal has neither name nor shape. It is the one essence, the one primal spirit. Essence and life cannot be seen. They are contained in the light of heaven. The light of heaven cannot be seen. It is contained in the two eyes.
Bertrand Russell
But there is no consensus... on how a particle chooses which of its many possible futures to follow, nor even on whether it really does choose or instead spins off like a branching tributary to live out all possible futures in an ever-expanding arena of parallel universes.
Brian Greene, The Elegant Universe
If there were no plants then in a short time the breath of life would become tainted; for men and animals inhale oxygen and breathe out life-destroying carbonic-acid. Yet the plants inhale carbonic-acid and give out oxygen. Here then the higher depends on the lower for the breath of life.
Rudolf Steiner, GA0055
Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and all is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and all is organized by the Italians.
Vic Pecka & Paige Scott
Let us then suppose the mind to be, as we say, white paper, void of all characters, without ideas; how comes it to be furnished? To this I answer, in one word, from Experience. In that, all our Knowledge is founded; and from that it ultimately derives itself.
William Blake, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, 1690
For the real question is whether the 'brighter future' is really always so distant. What if, on the contrary, it has been here for a long time already, and only our blindness and weakness has prevented us from seeing it around us and within us, and kept us from developing it?
Vaclav Havel, The Power of the Powerless
I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility. I don't mean by humility, doubt of his power. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not of them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful.
John Ruskin
My heart rouses thinking to bring you news of something that concerns you and concerns many men. Look at what passes for the new. You will not find it there but in despised poems. It is difficult to get the news from poems yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there.
William Carlos Williams
We keep subdividing the planet and the animals don't know where to go anymore. This world is not just made for us, it is made for thousands of other species. We want to make sure humanity is healthy, but it is also special to be able to look into the state of other animals and... to develop our compassion.
Peter Max
The senate being met at Rome, among many others that spoke against the Fabii, the priests called fecials were the most decided, who, on the religious grounds, urged the senate that they should lay the whole guilt and penalty of the fact upon him that committed it, and so exonerate the rest.
Plutarch's Camillus, [445-365 BC]
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
Margaret Young
Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.
Leo Buscaglia
A leader is best when people barely know that he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worst when they despise him. 'Fail to honour people, They fail to honour you.' But of a good leader, who talks little, When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, They will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'
Lao Zi
The rose I cut off from the shrub is no reality. It cannot be by itself. It can only come to existence by virtue of its connection with the whole rose-bush. If I think of it as a mere rose by itself, it is in truth an abstraction. I must go on to the totality - to the whole rose-bush at the very least.
Steiner, Light Course-8
It seems to me probable that anyone who has a series of intolerable positions to put up with must have been responsible for them in some extent; not that it was simply 'their fault' - I don't mean that - but that they have contributed to it by impatience, or intolerance, or brusqueness - or some provocation.
Robert Hugh Benson
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it---and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), 1835-1910
Comforts that were rare among our forefathers are now multiplied in factories and handed out wholesale; and indeed, nobody nowadays, so long as he is content to go without air, space, quiet, decency and good manners, need be without anything whatever that he wants; or at least a reasonably cheap imitation of it.
G. K. Chesterton
Keep these concepts in mind: You've failed many times, although you don't remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim. Don't worry about failure. My suggestion to each of you: Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try.
Sherman Finesilver, American judge
So then finally, what is the last piece of technology that [Steve Jobs] acquired - not made by Apple - that really delighted him? He pauses for long seconds, looks down, puts his hands on his knees, looks away. 'I actually bought a bicycle recently. It's just... wonderful.'
Steve Jobs; Charles Arthur, The Independent, October 29, 2005
A wee child toddling in a wonder world, I prefer to their dogma my excursions into the natural gardens where the voice of the Great Spirit is heard in the twittering of birds, the rippling of mighty waters, and the sweet breathing of flowers. If this is Paganism, then at present, at least, I am a Pagan.
Zitkala-Sa, North American Indian
Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.
Donald Rumsfeld
To suppose that the eye with all its inimitable contrivances for adjusting the focus to different distances, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of spherical and chromatic aberration could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree.
Charles Darwin, Origin of the Species
As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949
The world is supposed to be full of possibilities, but they narrow down to pretty few in most personal experience. There's lots of good fish in the sea... maybe... but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself, you are likely to find few good fish in the sea.
D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover
If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence.
Bertrand Russell
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert, Dune, 'Litany Against Fear', 1965
It is not good, O Keshav! nought of good can spring from mutual slaughter! Lo, I hate triumph and domination, wealth and ease, Thus sadly won! Aho! what victory can bring delight, Govinda! what rich spoils could profit; what rule recompense; what span of life itself seem sweet, bought with such blood?
The Distress of Arjuna, The Bhagavad Gite
The physicist Schrodinger said of general principles that the creative vigour of a general principle depends precisely on its generality. And that is exactly what I mean when I talk about structure in architecture. It is not a special solution. It is a general idea. And although each building is a single solution, it is not motivated as such.
Mies van der Rohe
If Edison had a needle to find in a haystack, he would proceed at once with the diligence of the bee to examine straw after straw until he found the object of his search. I was a sorry witness of such doings, knowing that a little theory and calculation would have saved him ninety per cent of his labour.
Nikola Tesla, New York Times, October 19, 1931
It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
Abraham Lincoln
But a man may then imagine in your work what he pleases, what you never meant! Not what he pleases, but what he can. If he be not a true man, he will draw evil out of the best; we need not mind how he treats any work of art! If he be a true man, he will imagine true things; what matter whether I meant them or not?
George MacDonald, The Fantastic Imagination
Conversation. What is it? A Mystery! It's the art of never seeming bored, of touching everything with interest, of pleasing with trifles, of being fascinating with nothing at all. How do we define this lively darting about with words, of hitting them back and forth, this sort of brief smile of ideas which should be conversation?
Guy de Maupassant
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe...
The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.
William Lyon Phelphs
Instead of bucking your head against a stone wall
why do we get headaches so often?), sit quietly with hands folded and wait for the wall to crumble. If you're willing to wait an eternity, it may happen in the twinkling of an eye. For walls often give way quicker than the proud spirit which rules us. (Henry Miller, Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch
'Although about three million computers get sold every year in China, people don't pay for the software,', Gates reportedly said. 'Someday they will, though. And as long as they're going to steal it, we want them to steal ours. They'll get sort of addicted, and then we'll somehow figure out how to collect sometime in the next decade.'
Bill Gates, Chineese News, 1998
The well-being of a community of people working together will be the greater, the less the individual claims for himself the proceeds of his work, i.e. the more of these proceeds he makes over to his fellow-workers, the more his own needs are satisfied, not out of his own work but out of the work done by others.
The Fundamental Social Law, Rudolf Steiner, 1905
The good are attracted by men's perceptions And think not for themselves; Til Experience teaches them to catch And to cage fairies and elves. And then the knave begins to snarl, And the hypocrite to howl; And all his good friends shew their private ends, And the eagle is known from the owl.
William Blake, Motto to Songs of Innocence and Experience
Take some more tea, the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. I've had nothing yet, Alice replied in an offended tone, so I can't take more. You mean you can't take LESS, said the Hatter: it's very easy to take MORE than nothing. Nobody asked YOUR opinion, said Alice. Who's making personal remarks now? the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice in Wonderland
In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all - security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.
Edward Gibbon
In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all -- security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.
Edward Gibbon
The will is not set upon a surplus of pleasure, but upon the amount of pleasure that remains after getting over the pain. This is the essence of all genuine will... It reaches its goal though the path be full of thorns. It lies in human nature to pursue it so long as the displeasure connected with it does not extinguish the desire altogether.
Rudolf Steiner, PoF-13
Would you convey my compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a sort of broken-down patois which is something like the way a Swiss waiter talks, and that when I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so that it will stay split.
Raymond Chandler, in a letter to Edward Weeks, editor of the Atlantic Monthly, 18 January 1947
The skylines lit up at dead of night, the air-conditioning systems cooling empty hotels in the desert and artificial light in the middle of the day all have something both demented and admirable about them. The mindless luxury of a rich civilization, and yet of a civilization perhaps as scared to see the lights go out as was the hunter in his primitive night.
Jean Baudrillard
Dance with all the might of your body, and all the fire of your soul, in order that you may shake all melancholy out of your liver; and you need not restrain yourself with the apprehension that any lady will have the least fear that the violence of your movements will ever shake anything out of your brains.
Lola Montez, 'Hints to Gentlemen, or the Art of Fascinating', 1858
First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Pastor Martin Niemoller in the 1940s
The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created - created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.
John Schaar
The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created - created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.
John Schaar
An hour with a mango will convince you that it has significant low frequency colour variation, lots of tiny dark spots, a minor amount of wrinkling, and a stem at the top. Some people can deduce this sort of information in a matter of minutes, but the serious shader writer will walk the hallways with mango in hand for at least an hour.
Tom Porter, Pixar
Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission and I want to help you.
Hal 9000
Well, if Sven dreamed tonight that his dog died, he'd have a very, very bad night's sleep, because he's very fond of that dog. But when he woke up in the morning, everything would be all right. He'd know it was only a dream. The point is if his dog really died, it would be exactly the same thing. Only, he wouldn't know it until he died himself.
J.D. Salinger, Nine Stories
Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point during the story I could stop, and ask, Now do you want the hero to be kidnapped, or not? But that would, of course, have ruined the story. Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.
Penn Jillette, Interview in WIRED magazine, 1993
Many people, other than the authors, contribute to the making of a book, from the first person who had the bright idea of alphabetic writing, through the inventor of movable type, to the lumberjacks who felled the trees that were pulped for its printing. It is not customary to acknowledge the trees themselves, though their commitment is total.
Forsyth and Rada, 'Machine Learning'
Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
Marcus Aurelius
The question is not whether the pleasure to be gained is greater than the pain, but whether the desire for the goal is greater than the hindering effect of the pain involved... for the will is not set upon a surplus of pleasure, but upon the amount of pleasure that remains after getting over the pain. This still appears as a goal worth striving for.
Rudolf Steiner, The Philosophy of Freedom
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - To choose one's own way.
Victor Frankl
In the tides of life, in action's storm, a fluctuant wave, a shuttle free, birth and the grave, an eternal sea. a weaving, flowing life, all-glowing, thus, at time's humming loom 'tis my hand prepares the garment of life which the diety wears! and until thou truly hast, this dying and becomming, thou are but a troubled guest over this dark earth wandering.
It seems to me that dominant cinema seems to require an empathy or a sympathy between the film and the audience which is basically to do with the manipulation of the emotions and it seems to me again -- and this is a very subjective position -- that most cinema seems to trivialise the emotions, sentimentalising or romanticising them.
Peter Greenaway, from an interview in 'Art and Design', #49
A computer is a device that can be used to magnify human productivity. Properly used, it does not dehumanize by imposing its own Orwellian stamp on the products of the human spirit and the dignity of human labour but, by taking over what is mechanical and routine, it frees human beings for what is essentially human.
Martin Kay, 'The Place of Men and Machines in Language Translation', 1997
A genuine work of art must mean many things; the truer its art, the more things it will mean. If my drawing, on the other hand, is so far from being a work of art that it needs THIS IS A HORSE written under it, what can it matter that neither you nor your child should know what it means? It is there not so much to convey a meaning as to wake a meaning.
George MacDonald, The Fantastic Imagination
A man [complains about] how indignant he is with countless human beings. He describes minutely how this or that in A, in B, in C, and so on, angers him. He has not an inkling that he is simply talking about his own characteristics. This peculiarity in human beings was never so widespread as it is today. And those who believe they are free of it, are the greatest culprits.
Rudolf Steiner, Berne, 1919
In the shoreless ocean of space radiates the central, spiritual, and invisible sun. The universe is his [her] body, spirit, and soul; and after this ideal model are framed all things... the holy of the aged, the great en-soph has a form and then he has no form. The invisible assumed a form when he called the universe into existence, says the sohar, the book of splendour.
H.P. Blavatsky, Isis I, 302
I can always spot a programmer who has only worked on one architecture. He or she looks on the basic data types of that machine as God-given. The same goes for how the system names files, how it represents lines of text, and dozens of other arbitrary design decisions. There is a level of abstract thinking that comes only from writing code that is intended to be portable across architectures.
P.J. Plauger
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Audrey Hepburn
People who study history nowadays generally project what they are accustomed to see in the present time, back into the historic past, and they have little idea how altogether different men were in mind and spirit before the present epoch. Even when they let the old documents speak for themselves, they largely read into them the way of thought and outlook of the present.
Steiner, Karmic Relationships Vol3, Dornach, 1924
Simple Living suggests that the good life is not to be found in an endless stream of material possessions, social states, or high incomes; the good life arises out of careful and caring involvement with people, places, and the planet. By taking care of what we have, living within limits, and sharing our stuff with others, we can live a life of integrity.
Fiona Heath, Simplicity Circle Guide for Waterloo
The history of art is simply a history of getting rid of the ugly by entering into it, and using it. After all, the notion of something outside of us being ugly is not outside of us but inside of us. That's why I keep reiterating that we're working with our minds. What we're trying to do is to get them open so that we don't see things as being ugly, or beautiful, but we see them just as they are.
John Cage
While we are undoubtedly in an information age, most information is delivered to us in the form of atoms: newspapers, magazines and books. This will change as cheap and easy to distribute bits begin to edge out atoms, and when the much ballyhooed information superhighway
which is, after all, nothing more than a bit chutearrives at your door. And when that happens, whole industries will be in upheaval. (Nicholas Negroponte)
All things in the world are two. In our minds we are two, good and evil. With our eyes we see two things, things that are fair and things that are ugly... We have the right hand that strikes and makes for evil, and we have the left hand full of kindness, near the heart. One foot may lead us to an evil way, the other foot may lead us to a good. So are all things two, all two.
Eagle Chief [Letakos-Lesa], Pawnee
People 'died' all the time.... Parts of them died when they made the wrong kinds of decisions - decisions against life. Sometimes they died bit by bit until finally they were just living corpses walking around. If you were perceptive you could see it in their eyes; the fire had gone out... you always knew when you made a decision against life... The door clicked and you were safe inside - safe and dead.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I can't stop fooling around with our irrefutable certainties. It is, for example, a pleasure knowingly to mix up two- and three- dimensionalities... to make fun of gravity... Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling? Are you definitely convinced that you will be on a higher plane when you walk up a staircase? Is it a fact as far as you are concerned that half an egg isn't also half an empty shell?
M.C. Escher
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
George Carlin
There is some good and some bad in everyone on the planet - that fact is just part of the human condition - so don't fool yourself into thinking that people are either totally righteous or totally evil because that is too simplistic by far. Keep in mind that people tend to conform to the labels that we give them, so if you must make a value judgment, focus on the good side of people.
Sally Brompton, New York Post, June 24, 2004
Listen: there was once a king sitting on his throne. Around him stood great and wonderfully beautiful columns ornamented with ivory, bearing the banners of the king with great honour. Then it pleased the king to raise a small feather from the ground and he commanded it to fly. The feather flew, not because of anything in itself but because the air bore it along. This am I...
Hildegard von Bingen, 'A Feather On The Breath Of God'
But there's only one song in the world, and Adam and Eve wrote it, and the rest of them's variations. I'm the antenna. you just stick your finger in the air and you grab a bit of it and you go off. And that's the way to avoid writer's block, because that's what happens to people that think they actually create these things. Nobody creates anything. It's there, and you just grab a hold of it.
Keith Richards, Guitar Player, October 1993
To be a Guardian
of the great spiritual worksignifies two things: The study of and practical application of the heritage of the past, and secondly continuous creative effort aiming at the advancement of the work. For the Tradition Lives Only when it is Deepened, Elevated, and Increased in Size. Conservation alone does not suffice at all. (Anonymous Christian Hermeticist, as cited from the album 'Rosa Mysitca' by Therese Schroeder-Schecker).
There is one, and only one, proportional division which is possible with two terms. This occurs when the smaller term is to the larger term in the same way as the larger term is to the smaller plus the larger. It is written a:b::b:(a b). The largest term
a bmust be a wholeness or unit composed of the sum of the other two terms. Historically this unique geometric proportion of two terms has been given the name 'Golden Proportion'. (Robert Lawlor)
But tell me, who are they, these wanderers, even more transient than we ourselves, who from their earliest days are savagely wrung out by a never-satisfied will
for -whose- sake)? Yet it wrings them, swings them and flings them and catches them again; and falling as if through oiled slippery air, they land on the threadbare carpet, worn constantly thinner by their perpetual leaping... (Rainer Maria Rilke, from 'Duino Elegies', 5th Elegy
Imagination has given us the steam engine, the telephone, the talking-machine, and the automobile, for these things had to be dreamed of before they became realities. So I believe that dreams - daydreams, you know, with your eyes wide open and your brain machinery whizzing - are likely to lead to the betterment of the world. The imaginative child will become the imaginative man or woman most apt to invent, and therefore to foster, civilization.
L. Frank Baum
All of you sitting here... are invisible to physical senses. But a certain number of shapes with a certain capacity to attract particles of matter are sitting here, and these particles are visible. We see only the mineral element in people; the real individuals sitting here are... invisible. What stands before me are material particles that this individual's form has stored and gathered, thereby making something invisible visible.
Steiner, Dornach, November 1919
Let Nature be your Teacher. She has a world of ready wealth, Our minds and hearts to bless-- Spontaneous wisdom breathed by health, Truth breathed by cheerfulness. One impulse from a vernal wood May teach you more of man, Of moral evil and good, Than all the sages can. Sweet is the lore which Nature brings; Our meddling intellect Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of thnigs:-- We murder to dissect.
William Wordsworth, 'Tables Turned'
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
I suppose on another level, I'm often irritated that, basically, certainly should we say Hollywood orthodox cinema deals in nudity primarily from the point of the view of the female body and she has to be aged between 16 and 30. What happens to the rest of us? What happens to the whole mass of man/female, masculine/feminine kind who do not get represented in this context? We ought to be there along with everybody else.
Peter Greenaway, from an interview on
Vice may be changed into virtue by changing its aim. Passion is blind, it goes where it is led, and reason is a safer guide for it than the instinct... We cannot destroy or annihilate a passion. If it is driven away, another elemental influence will take its place. We should therefore not attempt to destroy the low without putting something in its place, but we should displace the low by the high; vice by virtue, and superstition by knowledge.
Madamme Blavatsky
Civilization is a stream with banks. The stream is sometimes filled with blood from people killing, stealing, shouting and doing the things historians usually record, while on the banks, unnoticed, people build homes, make love, raise children, sing songs, write poetry and even whittle statues. The story of civilization is the story of what happened on the banks. Historians are pessimists because they ignore the banks for the river.
Will Durant, Life Magazine, October 1963
It would be regarded as quite out of the question to study the movements of a magnet-needle on the Earth's surface in such a way as to try to explain these movements solely out of what can be observed within the space occupied by the needle... it is equally and fundamentally impossible to explain the phenomena relating to the organism from out of the organism itself, or from connections which do not belong to a totality, to a whole.
Rudolf Steiner, Jan10-1921
Passive acceptance of the teacher's wisdom is easy to most boys and girls. It involves no effort of independent thought, and seems rational because the teacher knows more than his pupils; it is moreover the way to win the favour of the teacher unless he is a very exceptional man. Yet the habit of passive acceptance is a disastrous one in later life. It causes man to seek and to accept a leader, and to accept as a leader whoever is established in that position.
Bertrand Russell
Anyone who reflects on the fact that the human being can be ill, will find himself involved in a paradox which he cannot avoid if he wishes to think purely on the lines of natural science, he will have to assume to begin with that this paradox lies in the very nature of existence. For, considered superficially, whatever takes place in the course of the illness is a natural process. What takes place in the healthy state is also a natural process.
Steiner, Fundamentals of Therapy
Troi: When dealing with two factions so diametrically opposed, so entrenched in their positions, where do you start? Riva: There is no trick. My technique was to look for some -thing- no matter how small, that was common to both groups; and then to begin a process where one person or one group expresses themselves to each other. but what is even more difficult, is to get each side to listen -- really listen -- to each other, and to understand.
Loud as a Whisper, Star Trek TNG-42477.2
To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel change, grow or live. Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom. Only a person who risks is free. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; and the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up save in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
C.S. Lewis
How slowly one advances in a boat that does not float along with the stream in a specific direction! How much easier it is when one can connect with the work of great predecessors whose value is not doubted by anyone. A personal experiment, a construction whose foundations one must dig himself and whose walls one must erect himself, runs a real risk of becoming a humble hovel. But perhaps one prefers to live there rather than in a palace that has been built by others.
M.C. Escher, 1958
A computer is like a violin. You can imagine a novice trying first a phonograph and then a violin. The latter, he says, sounds terrible. That is the argument we have heard from our humanists and most of our computer scientists. Computer programs are good, they say, for particular purposes, but they aren't flexible. Neither is a violin, or a typewriter, until you learn how to use it.
Marvin Minsky, 'Why Programming is a Good Medium for Expressing Poorly Understood and Sloppily-Formulated Ideas'
In other respects I am very well off here. Solitude in this terrestrial paradise is a genial balm to my mind, and the young spring cheers with its bounteous promises my oftentimes misgiving heart. Every tree, every bush, is full of flowers; and one might wish himself transformed into a butterfly, to float about in this ocean of perfume, and find his whole existence in it. The town itself is disagreeable; but then, all around, you find an inexpressible beauty of nature.
Goethe, Werther
We are thinking about the same kinds of things that everyone has been thinking about since people began making movies. Where do we want the audience looking? In the layout of the shot, what is the flow of the action? We have a very educated idea of where people will be looking because we are forcing them to look there. We make that section of the shot look good and then we layer in everything else.
Rob Coleman, Animation Director for Star Wars, Attack of the Clones, Animation World Magazine, June 4, 2002
In universities, mathematics is taught mainly to men who are going to teach mathematics to men who are going to teach mathematics to.... Sometimes, it is true, there is an escape from this treadmill. Archimedes used mathematics to kill Romans, Galileo to improve the Grand Duke of Tuscany's artillery, modern physicists
grown more ambitiousto exterminate the human race. It is usually on this account that the study of mathematics is commended to the general public as worthy of State support. (Bertrand Russell)
Attention consists of suspending our thought, leaving it detached, empty and ready to be penetrated by the object. It means holding in our minds, within reach of this thought, but on a lower level and not in contact with it, the diverse knowledge we have acquired which we are forced to make use of. Above all our thought should be empty, waiting, not seeking anything, but ready to receive in its naked truth the object which is to penetrate it. Absolute unmixed attention is prayer.
Simone Weil, 'Gravity and Grace', 1952
What people are contemplating on their word-processor screens is the operation of their own brains. It is not entrails that we try to interpret these days, nor even hearts or facial expressions; it is, quite simply, the brain. We want to expose to view its billions of connections and watch it operating like a video game... All that fascinates us is the spectacle of the brain and its workings. What we are wanting here is to see our thoughts unfolding before us - and this itself is a superstition.
Jean Baudrillard, 1986
It looks as if America has begun to secrete a new type of American, a new and un-American being.... The young Americans who bum around Europe today are spare parts who don't fit into the big U.S. machine. They are of a different make. They are often poor, and have that strange homelessness in their eyes which shows that here is a whole generation, a whole new type of people on the move. They are no longer 'innocents abroad' - they are abroad, because they have no homeland.
Jens Bjorneboe, The Fear of America Within Us, 1999
When we Indians kill meat, we eat it all up. When we dig roots, we make little holes. When we build houses, we make little holes. When we burn grass for grasshoppers, we don't ruin things. We shake down acorns and pine nuts. We don't chop down the trees. We only use dead wood. But the white people plow up the ground, pull down the trees, kill everything... The White people pay no attention. How can the Spirit of the Earth like the White man? Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore.
Wintu Woman, 19th Century
But it is important to realize we are all trapped in mental constructs, and so we separate ourselves from reality; the whole world loses its aliveness- or, rather, we lose our ability to sense that aliveness, the sacredness of nature. When we approach nature through the conceptualizing mind, we see a forest as a commodity, a concept. We no longer see it for what it truly is, but for what we want to use it as. It is reduced. This is how it becomes possible for humans to destroy the planet without realizing what they are doing.
Eckhart Tolle
You govern a kingdom by normal rules; You fight a war by exceptional moves; But you win the world by letting alone. How do I know that this is so? By what is within me! The more taboos and inhibitions there are in the world, The poorer the people become. The sharper the weapons the people possess, The greater confusion reigns in the realm. The more clever and crafty the men, The oftener strange things happen. The more articulate the laws and ordinances, The more robbers and thieves arise.
Lao Tzu, Tao Teh Ching 57
The trouble is to get to the centre. It is very easy to get lost. I had a dream of a maze. There were some people very close to the centre, but they could not find a way through. They had taken a wrong turn at the very beginning and would have to return to the start if they were to make any further progress. Just outside the maze others were standing. They were further away from the heart of the maze, but they would be there sooner than the party that fretted and fumed inside.
Robert Runcie, Archibishop of Canterbury, At his Initiation 1980
A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Albert Einstein, 'What I Believe', 1930
Confusing truth with fact, people often read mythology without realizing that it speaks about their deepest feelings and situations. They look at art and think it is mere representation or self-expression. They don't realize that a good painting is a window onto the land beyond Lethe. They hear the teachings and stories of religion and take them as history, missing out on the deeper truth conveyed in the charm of language. By trying to avoid illusion, we make our truths flat, cold, and soulless.
Thomas Moore, Parabola Winter 2003 'Truth & Illusion'
Need I mention the starting, planting, and growth of vines? I can never have too much of this pleasure - to let you into the secret of what gives my old age repose and amusement. For I say nothing here of the natural force which all things propagated from the earth possess - the earth which from that tiny grain in a fig, or the grapestone in a grape, or the most minute seeds of the other cereals and plants, produces such huge trunks and boughs. Mallet shoots, slips, cuttings, quicksets, layers - are they not enough to fill any one with delight and astonishment?
The song 'Let It Happen' is an affirmation based on the belief or knowledge that there's an intelligence behind the whole universe that is working at all times through us even though we might not often - or in some cases ever - perceive it. Nevertheless there is something for our highest good that wants or needs to happen in all situations at all times and to say 'whatever needs to happen, let it happen' is saying: I allow the highest good to happen through me. And keeping that belief and focus in the midst of madness and chaos is what the song's about.
Mike Scott, Waterboys
Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties and ugliness; accepts certain sufferings as matter of course, puts up patiently with certain evils. Human life is reduced to real suffering, to hell, only when two ages, two cultures and religions overlap... Now there are times when a whole generation is caught in this way between two ages, two modes of life, with the consequence that it loses all power to understand itself and has no standard, no security, no simple acquiescence.
Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf
It is our great fortune sometimes to misinterpret our destiny when it is revealed to us. We often accomplish our ends despite ourselves. We try to avoid the swamps and jungles, we seek frantically to escape the wilderness or the desert
one and the same), we attach ourselves to leaders, we worship the gods instead of the One and Only, we lose ourselves in the labyrinth, we fly to distant shores and speak with other tongues, adopt other customs, manners, conventions, but ever and always are we driven towards our true end, concealed from us till the last moment. (Henry Miller, The Books in my Life
I am a design chauvinist. I believe that good design is magical and not to be lightly tinkered with. The difference between a great design and a lousy one is in the meshing of the thousand details that either fit or don't, and the spirit of the passionate intellect that has tied them together, or tried. That's why programming -- or buying software -- on the basis of 'lists of features' is a doomed and misguided effort. The features can be thrown together, as in a garbage can, or carefully laid together and interwoven in elegant unification, as in APL, or the Forth language, or the game of chess.
Ted Nelson
All the performances of human art, at which we look with praise or wonder, are instances of the resistless force of perseverance; it is by this that the quarry becomes a pyramid, and that distant countries are united with canals. If a man was to compare the single stroke of the pickaxe, or of one impression of the spade, with the general design and the last result, he would be overwhelmed by the sense of their disproportion; yet those petty operations, incessantly continued, in time surmount the greatest difficulties, and mountains are levelled and oceans bounded by the slender force of human beings.
Samuel Johnson
My subject is beginning to oppress my mind as a nightmare does the body. My head is full of ideas, of which the order is not yet clear to me, and which I must consider singly. I should like to run, but I can only drag myself slowly along. You know that I never take up my pen to support a system, or to draw, whether wrongly or rightly, certain conclusions. I give myself up to the natural flow of my ideas, allowing myself in good faith to be led from one consequence to another. Therefore, till my work is finished, I never know exactly what result I shall reach, or if I shall arrive at any.
Alexis De Tocqueville, letter to J.S. Mill, Nov 10, 1836
If I found a job, a project, an idea or a person I wanted - I'd have to depend on the whole world. Everything has strings leading to everything else. We're all so tied together. We're all in a net, the net is waiting, and we're pushed into it by one single desire. You want a thing and it's precious to you. Do you know who is standing ready to tear it out of your hands? You can't know, it may be so involved and so far away, but someone is ready, and you're afraid of them all. And you cringe and you crawl and you beg and you accept them - just so they'll let you keep it. And look at whom you come to accept.
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
I live in the Managerial Age, in a world of 'Admin'. The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid 'dens of crime' that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done even in concentration camps and labour camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered
moved, seconded, carried, and minuted); in clean, carpeted, warmed and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices. Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern. (C. S. Lewis, 1898 - 1963
A non-violent man or woman will and should die without retaliation, anger or malice, in self-defense or in defending the honour of their womenfolk. This is the highest form of bravery. If an individual or group of people are unable or unwilling to follow this great law of life, retaliation or resistance unto death is the second best, though a long way off from the first. Cowardice is impotence worse than violence. The coward desires revenge but being afraid to die, he looks to others, maybe to the government of the day, to do the work of defense for him. A coward is less than a man. He does not deserve to be a member of a society of men and women.
Mahatma Gandhi
We are the first generation bombarded with so many stories from so many 'authorities', none of which are our own. The parable of the postmodern mind is the person surrounded by a media centre: three television screens in front of them giving three sets of stories; fax machines bringing in other stories; newspapers providing still more stories. In a sense, we are saturated with stories; we're saturated with points of view. But the effect of being bombarded with all of these points of view is that we don't have a point of view and we don't have a story. We lose the continuity of our experiences; we become people who are written on from the outside.
Sam Keen
The multiple threats to the Earth are so complex that in most cases they seem beyond the reach of an average citizens influence. Yet we can all launch a personal campaign to reduce consumption - though perhaps only after a change of mind-set, to overcome the fear of seeming poor, parsimonious or eccentric. This does not mean being deprived or uncomfortable. It simply means stopping to think, before each purchase, 'Do I really need this?' For years a small minority has been living and thinking thus. If a large majority did lilkewise - if frugality and shabbiness could become trendy - then the Earth, though not saved, would be measurably less endangered.
Dervla Murphy, Irish Author
If nature has made any one thing less susceptible than all others of exclusive property, it is the action of the thinking power called an idea, which an individual may exclusively possess as long as he keeps it to himself; but the moment it is divulged, it forces itself into the possession of every one, and the receiver cannot dispossess himself of it. Its peculiar character, too, is that no one possesses the less, because every other possesses the whole of it. He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me... Inventions then cannot, in nature, be a subject of property.
Thomas Jefferson
It's really easier than you think - it's all about dilution of responsibility. During the Vietnam War someone noted that while in theory nobody would accept burning children alive, some children are being burnt alive due to decisions made in a long chain of command where everyone is responsible for just a tiny bit of the whole process - from workers in plant making napalm bombs, to the pilot who is 'just following orders', to Robert McNamara, who deals just with abstract figures, maps, tables etc. So you would be just the guy who draws an arrow on the map. Or the guy who is just pressing the button. In your own conscience, you would feel 100 percent innocent.
Trurl's Machine, Slashdot 651488, June 20, 2005
Thus you can throw yourself flat on the ground, stretched out upon Mother Earth, with the certain conviction that you are one with her and she with you. You are as firmly established, as invulnerable as she, indeed a thousand times firmer and more invulnerable. As surely as she will engulf you tomorrow, so surely will she bring you forth anew to new striving and suffering. And not merely 'some day': now, today, every day she is bringing you forth, not *once* but thousands of times upon thousands of times, just as every day she engulfs you a thousand times over. For eternally and always there is only *now*, one and the same now; the present is the only thing that has no end.
Edwin Schrodinger, My View of the World, 1964
Two Presuppositions of the Evolutionists: I call them presuppositions now, rather than theories or speculations, partly because they are rarely, if ever, systematically argued and partly because they have been taken for granted by so many for so long that they have gone down into the unconscious and become implicit in the meanings of all sorts of words we habitually employ to think with... The first of the two presuppositions is that 'inwardness,' subjectivity of any sort, is not merely associated with, but is always the product of a stimulated organism. The second, arising out of it, is the presupposition that in the history of the universe the presence of what is called 'matter' preceded the presence of what is called 'mind.'
Owen Barfield
What greater stupidity can be imagined than that of calling jewels, silver, and gold 'precious,' and earth and soil 'base'? People who do this ought to remember that if there were as great a scarcity of soil as of jewels or precious metals, there would not be a prince who would not spend a bushel of diamonds and rubies and a cartload of gold just to have enough earth to plant a jasmine in a little pot, or to sow an orange seed and watch it sprout, grow, and produce its handsome leaves, its fragrant flowers, and fine fruit. It is scarcity and plenty that make the vulgar take things to be precious or worthless; they call a diamond very beautiful because it is like pure water, and then would not exchange one for ten barrels of water.
Galileo Galilei, 1564-1642
One afternoon, which is ever present in my recollection, I was enjoying a walk with my friend in the city park and reciting poetry. At that age I knew entire books by heart, word for word. One of these was Goethe's Faust. The sun was just setting and reminded me of a glorious passage: The glow retreats, done is the day of toil; It yonder hastes, new fields of life exploring; Ah, that no wing can lift me from the soil Upon its track to follow, follow soaring! As I uttered these inspiring words the idea came like a flash of lightning and in an instant the truth was revealed. I drew with a stick on the sand the diagram shown six years later in my address before the American Institute of Electrical Engineers.
Tesla, on the Invention of the Induction Motor
My contention that we must think before we can examine thinking might easily be countered by the apparently equally valid contention that we cannot wait with digesting until we have first observed the process of digestion. This objection would be similar to that brought by Pascal against Descartes, when he asserted that we might also say, 'I walk, therefore I am.' Certainly I must go straight ahead with digesting and not wait until I have studied the physiological process of digestion. But I could only compare this with the study of thinking if, after digestion, I set myself not to study it by thinking, but to eat and digest it. It is after all not without reason that, whereas digestion cannot become the object of digestion, thinking can very well become the object of thinking.
Rudolf Steiner, PoF3
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt, 1858 - 1919, 'Man in the Arena', April 23, 1910
The way to the heart is through the head, Love is no exception, Whenever it is not merely the expression of bare sexual instinct, it depends on the mental picture we form of the loved one. And the more idealistic these mental pictures are, just so much the more blessed is our love. Here too, thought is the father of feeling. It is said that love makes us blind to the failings of the loved one. But this can be expressed the other way round, namely, that it is just for the good qualities that love opens the eyes. Many pass by these good qualities without noticing them. One, however, perceives them, and just because he does, love awakens in his soul. What else has he done but made a mental picture of what hundreds have failed to see? Love is not theirs, because they lack the mental picture.
Rudolf Steiner, The Philosophy of Freedom
When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of spirit. for love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. ...and let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Kahlil Gibran, from 'The Prophet'
Colours first appear at the edges between Light and Dark. The continuous spectrum with green in the middle arises only where the
blue-cyan and yellow-rededges come close enough to overlap. When light shines through a prism, we are simply projecting a picture whose aperature has edges. There is darkness outside this circular patch, while it is relatively light within it -- and this is where the Colours first occur -- where the Light adjoins Dark. We no longer see the original phenomenon when we make so small a circle that the colours extend inward from the edges to overlap in the middle to form what is called a 'continuous spectrum'; while with the larger circle the colours formed at the edges stay as they are. Thus, this is the primal phenomenon -- that Colours arise at the borders, where Light and Dark flow together. (From: Goethe's Colour Theory)
The social position of women is for the most part such an unworthy one because in so many respects it is determined not as it should be by the particular characteristics of the individual woman, but by the general picture one has of woman's natural tasks and needs. A man's activity in life is governed by his individual capacities and inclinations, whereas a woman's is supposed to be determined solely by the mere fact that she is a woman. She is supposed to be a slave to what is generic, to womanhood in general. As long as men continue to debate whether a woman is suited to this or that profession 'according to her natural disposition,' the so-called woman's question cannot advance beyond its most elementary stage. What a woman, within her natural limitations, wants to become had better be left to the woman herself to decide.
Rudolf Steiner, The Philosophy of Freedom, 1895
Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the Leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.
Hermann Goering, founder of the Nazi Gestapo, at the Nuremberg trails
I suppose that the two forms in which the existence of the unconsious mind is most vividly brought to our notice are: ithe uprushes of memory from a region outside one's present consciousness, which in part we can and in part we cannot control. Thus, if I struggle to remember a name and fail to do so, I am powerless. But when I have ceased to struggle, it often presents itself unexpectedly after a time, as from a hidden field of memory. ii) When I have struggled with some intellectual problem and brought my mind to a state where the solution seems to be appearing and yet disappears in confusion, if I can get a night's rest, the chances are that the tangle disappears in a measure, and order appears with the morning. IN SUCH WAYS WE BECOME CONSCIOUS THAT OUR MIND IS LARGER THAN OUR FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS. But there is no tendency in these normal experiences for the subliminal mind to appear as a co-consciousness or another person.
Bishop Charles Gore, Belief in God, 1921)
We don't have good language to talk about Design. In most people's vocabularies, design means veneer. It's interior decorating. It's the fabric of the curtains and the sofa. But to me, nothing could be further from the meaning of design. Design is the fundamental soul of a man-made creation that ends up expressing itself in successive outer layers of the product or service. The iMac is not just the colour or translucence or the shape of the shell. The essence of the iMac is to be the finest possible consumer computer in which each element plays together. On our latest iMac, I was adamant that we get rid of the fan, because it is much more pleasant to work on a computer that doesn't drone all the time. That was not just 'Steve's decision' to pull out the fan; it required an enormous engineering effort to figure out how to manage power better and do a better job of thermal conduction through the machine. That is the furthest thing from veneer. It was at the core of the product the day we started.
Steve Jobs, Fortune Magazine, 01.24.2000
You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
Steve Jobs
Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace, the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the pursued and that which you would escape. These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling. and when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light. and thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.
Khalil Gibran
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign...
Moby 2006
When does a hill become a mountain? --Well it must be a comparative term. Who measured the first hill? --These figures are science. If it's not a mountain you might as well redraw the border and put us in England. --Maps are the undergarment of a country.
Movie: Went Up a Hill, Came Down a Mountain
To the majority of mankind gold looks like dross unless it be wrapped up in tinsel, and tenfold the proper price marked on it in plain figures, with the word 'Sacrifice'. Hence it is that the most successful merchants omit the gold altogether.
Aleister Crowley, Moonchild
The scientists from Franklin to Morse were clear thinkers and did not produce erroneous theories. The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.
Nikola Tesla
The spectrum, therefore, is a compound phenomenon. In the familiar prismatic experiment, you get colour at the edges, and where the red-yellow and blue-violet edges meet, you get green.
From Goethe's Colour Theory
The place of the material world in the universe is that of an exquisitely beautiful precipitate or varied cloud-work in the universal aether, determined by a geometrical necessity.
Prof. John G. MacVicar, 1870
One day man will connect his apparatus to the very wheelwork of the universe... and the very forces that motivate the planets in their orbits and cause them to rotate will rotate his own machinery.
Nikola Tesla
We never sit anything out. We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the Beautiful Stuff out.
Ray Bradbury
Man is the only animal of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid. There is no harm in a well-fed lion. It has no ideals, no sect, no party.
Bernard Shaw
Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; Where your treasure, there your heart; where your heart, there your happiness.
Saint Augustine
Schlattwhapper, n.: The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.
Rich Hall, Sniglets
One of the most important things to learn about getting along with people, is to not interfere with other people's ways of being happy.
The best way to deal with lawyers is to simply say to them, 'This is what I want to do. Now keep us out of jail as we do it'.
Guy Kawasaki
How can we continue to see the world as real if the self that is determining it to be real is intangible?
Fred Alan Wolf, Ph.D
The bitterness of poor quality remains a long time after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.
Dutch Proverb
All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.
Henry Miller
Virtue does not always demand a heavy sacrifice -- only the willingness to make it when necessary.
Frederick Dunn
The more accurate the calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air.
R. S. Mulliken
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy
Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love 'til you give it away.
Oscar Hammerstein II
Ten percent of computer users are Mac users, but remember, we are the top ten percent.
Douglas Adams
One of the most important things in a person's life is to feel useful.
Picard, Star Trek TNG 6x04
Don't go planning my education, I'm illiterate enough now.
Abbott and Costello, Road to Morocco)
Computers allow us to do, in half the time, tasks that were completely unneccesary before computers.
There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it makes hunger and unhappiness.
Indira Gandhi
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
African Proverb
What was sleeping above your soul will rise out of my mouth to heaven.
Pablo Neruda
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Winston Churchill
Art is long, life short, judgment difficult, opportunity transient.
Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
Titus Maccius Plautus
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
Opposition is never enough, you've got to show an alternative.
Meetings: A place where minutes are kept and hours are lost.
Theory is grey, but the tree of life is green.
Without haste, but without rest.
All desire is suspect.
Jack Kerouac
Create, artist, do not talk.
Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
MTV ruined rock and roll
Jack Black
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Dave Matthews Band Crash Into Me
If I can take a bullet for my grandson, I will, just not in my face, thats where I make my monies.
Cotton Hill
So, what I lost everything?
Would you want me if I was a failure?
Ünloco Failure
If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Wayne: "And I never learned to read!!"
Cassandra: "Is that true?"
Wayne: "Everything except the reading part."
Wayne's World
Craig: "Momma, loan me 200 dollas."
Momma: "Craig, I won’t feel right about loaning you 200 dollars when you don't have a job"
Craig: "If I had a job, I wouldn't need a loan."
Momma: "Exactly."
Employee #1: "Where does this shoe belong?!?"
Employee #2: "Up your ass and around the corner."
dayv: "That's where fudge is made."
The other day at the shoe store
I shoot you say you fell in the kitchen.
Chris Tucker
loser wanna-be murse: Are you ready for this exam?
dayv: I was born ready, nigga!
loser wanna-be murse: It's going to be brutal.
dayv: Don't you realize I stopped listening to you like forever ago?
Today in Micro
Imma find me a nice white woman with a flat booty to listen to all my problems
Grandad The Boondocks
I always wondered what you guys were doing in regular math class.
All I ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work
Sgt. Bilco
Life is hard,
And so am I
eels Novocaine for the Soul
One thing I don't even know why,
It doesn't matter how hard you try!
Linkin Park In The End
Bruce: So when are you going to get your car washed, dayv?
dayv: ummmm... i'll probaby wait until summer.
At the shoe store in February
We have a bunch of child beaters in this class?
Child and Adolescent Development teacher
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
Calvin Trillin
But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklin
Teacher: there's ampr, does anybody know what that is?
dayv: I don't know, but I colored it in with my pen.
Microbiology Class
Best friends don't ring your doorbell and punch you in the chest.
Adam Sandler Best Friend
I was in the middle of a chick hug.. I had titties on both sides of my head. It was beautiful!
That's the point of staying sober, to play jokes on the drunk kids.
mrj @ the bar
Without fees, how could we make money angels?
WaMu commercial
I am not a leader of men, since I prefer to follow.
Nickelback Leader of Men
There's a hole in me that I can't fill, no matter how hard I try
(hed) p.e. Bartender
Hey, you're a crazy bitch,
but you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
Buckcherry Crazy Bitch
Now we're slavin'
Who needs courage when you have a gun?
The Proffessor
Television is responsible for the utter degradation of our society.
Grandma Dinosaurs
Happy?!?!?! What does happy have to do with marriage?!?!?
Earl Dinosaurs
Who let you back in the house?!?!?!
Peter Griffen to Meg Griffen who was walking back into the house
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley Dr. Stranglelove
Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ahm... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.
President Merkin Muffley Dr. Stranglelove
Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
General "Buck" Turgidson Dr. Stranglelove
Dr. Strangelove: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
Ambassador de Sadesky: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.
Dr. Stranglelove
[Turgidson advocates a further nuclear attack to prevent a Soviet response to Ripper's attack]
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless *distinguishable*, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.
President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.
Dr. Stranglelove
Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
Major T. J. "King" Kong Dr. Stranglelove
Sir, you can't let him in here. He'll see everything. He'll see the big board!
General "Buck" Turgidson Dr. Stranglelove
Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!
Major T. J. "King" Kong Dr. Stranglelove
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Dr. Stranglelove
$>man woman
$>segmentation fault (core dumped)
Hilarious t-shirt
Jesus saves.
Buddha does incremental backups.
Hilarious t-shirt
I break for control loops.
Hilarious t-shirt
In the time it took you to read this, a Windows exploit has been discovered.
Hilarious t-shirt
No FAT32 chicks.
Hilarious t-shirt
SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
No results returned
Hilarious t-shirt
sudo rm -R /
Hilarious t-shirt
$> cd /pub
$> more beer
Hilarious t-shirt
Smithers I don't like being outdoors, for one thing there's too many Fat children.
Mr Burns The Simpsons
You're wasting valuable smashing time!
Side Show Mel The Simpsons
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky
And about my father, I'm coming for you Constantino.
Jake Green Jericho
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Because I have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade... away... again.
Fuel Shimmer
Oh beautiful America, land of the free, raped, and wasted youth
if i had just one wish that i could give to you
i'd ask for me to serve me as your finest dish -
a fish to to fillet, take my bones and exploit my brain.
express my images though all TV, radio and sound waves.
give it a nice shiny finish to coat my rays
make millions of of civilians to feed the Russian ??
so you can fuck me, rape, me, duct tape my face
to a dollar bill and pay to hate me
America won't you please... Love ME?
Future Leaders of the World 4 Sale
You winged my ship you wood paneled idiot!
Prof Farnsworth Futurama
I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!"
Drew Office Space
That is job for man!
Blind Date
Guy 1: I'm not Jewish
Guy 2: Nobody's perfect
Independence Day
Young man, the power is in your hand,
Slam your fists on the table and make your demand!
Matisyahu Youth
I walk a lonely road, the only road I've ever known,
My shadow is the only one that walks beside me.
Green Day Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Why would chunk pot get a newsletter from the 'woodrow wilson center for scholars'? He isn't a scholar, in fact, he is probably the furthest from a scholar a person can get while still being conscious. Now that I think about it, the unconcious may be more active in scholarly pursuits than he is.
I drove in a car, flew in a plane, to come to your house and kick your door in
Smile Empty Soul This is War
What're they gonna do? Fire me?!
For instance, your mother is a chemist for a pharmacuetical company, and your friend Eric Cartman's mom is a crack whore. One is more lucrative then the other.
Token's Dad
I'll give you a good stick!
I purposely do poses incorrectly in my yoga class so the teacher will reposition me. Otherwise, I would never have any human contact. I miss being touched.
PostSecret postcard
Long live the day that I decided to fly from the inside
Shinedown Fly from the Inside
I am a fucking idiot
I never should've gotten into it
and I will never do it again
Say, say, say
I am a total piece of shit and undeniable hypocrite I promise not to do it again
Custom Morning Spank
I am focused on what I am after
The key to the next open chapter
Cause I found a way to steal the sun from the sky
Shinedown Fly from the Inside
It's not she's a tramp.
It's not she's not pure.
She just likes getting her fuck on,
And it's good one of that I'm sure
Custom Hey Mister
You know what's the difference between a toddler and a terrorist? On one, the diaper is on the head.
Larry the Cable Guy
The good die young, but pricks live forever!
Lewis Black
If I know anything, I know taters!
According to the C-Section of the Penal Code, alot of these underbritches need to be refrigerated!
Larry the Cable Guy in Larry the Health Inspector
Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sampson: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Sampson [Aside to Gregory]: Is the law of our side, if I say ay?
Gregory: No.
Sampson: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir.
Romeo and Juliet
Can you wake up
Just one more time?
Can you get up
Pretend you feel fine?
Best wishes
And warmest regards
Custom Crawl
Are you ready to have nothing?
Ready to be nothing?
Ready not to feel?
Ready to be over?
And it to not know
That the worst is real?
Custom Crawl
Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.
A Perfect Circle 3 Libras
I could take every fucking word she says
Throw it in her face
but would she even care
I still remember when she looked at me
that frown upon her face
Trying to be sincere
I gathered all those little things she said
Kept them close to me
Trying to make this real
This cloud will alway hover over me
I'm leaving you today
'cause now I see
Cold Suffocate
I'm a loner,
I'm a loser,
I'm a winner,
In my mind.

I'm a bad one,
I'm a good one,
I'm a sick one,
With a smile.
Cold Stupid Girl
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven
The Who Baba O'Reilly
I want to be a housewife in a gated community somehwere.
Chad @ work
I am just a worthless liar,
I am just an imbecile.
Trust in me and fall as well.
Tool Sober
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
Hang on a second, let me grab my monocle.
teacher from superior
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
That's a huge Thats.! It's like a mini-horse!
Blonde EMT
I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days but doesn't die.
Mr. Garrison South Park movie
With just one finger, I said: Fuck that!
Hinder How Long
Bastard coated bastards with a bastard center.
Dr. Cox on Scrubs
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train.
Q: What do you do with a patient who is having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw your laundry in
EMT class
I wear a tie everyday, now. It may be a clip-on but it is a tie, nonetheless.
If it gets on the cot, it's ours.
The EMT motto
I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you.
Finger Eleven Paralyzer
If you can't do, you teach. If you can't teach, yo go ops.
Old adage
The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
Modern Drunkard Magazine
We tried heating the keg inside the oven, but we couldn't get it to fit inside without removing the racks and the vegetable drawers.
Michelob contains 4.9% alcohol, so a keg contains 97 ounces of alcohol. This is enough alcohol to bring 41 men over the legal driving limit in California. A little more and you could probably get them to sing and dance.
141 cups is enough for an awesome 7-story byramid!
Beer sold in cans is about 50% more expensive, but those cans are a hellovalot easier to sneak into traffic school.
Buying beer in a keg is different than buying it in cans. For one thing, you have to provide your own drinking vessels. Regular folks use these red cups, sophisticated socialites use glass pint glasses, and movie stars and royalty prefer footwear.
Although she may not be Miss Right, she'll do right now!
SR-71 Right Now
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
Slipknot Before I Forget
And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She doesn't notice me!
Bowling for Soup The Girl All the Bad Guys Want
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Linkin Park One Step Closer
Look away because I'm strange,
In my mind...
3rd Strike No Light
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
The Hacker Manifesto
This reality is really just a fucked up dream
Papa Roach Between Angels and Insects
That's how I roll: fast and out of control
Sonic commercial
I'm stupid, for thinking there's a way that this could turn out right.
Prime STH I'm Stupid
At night, the sporks pick on me
Packet of Fire Sauce
Guns don't kill people, I kill people.
Homeboy's shirt
If you dig up the past, all you get is dirty...
Minority Report
(8:50:05 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: i'm evil
(8:50:24 PM) elmoochous: no yer not
(8:50:30 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: since when?
(8:50:33 PM) elmoochous: always
(8:50:44 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: i poke children with sticks just because i can
(8:50:56 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: and sometimes i kick them, too
(8:51:05 PM) elmoochous: i punch, kick, and stomp them for the same reason
(8:51:18 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: and i hold old people's noses closed until they are screaming at me
(8:51:26 PM) elmoochous: im going there tomorrow
(8:51:32 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: and they cant fight back
(8:51:37 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: how is that not evil?
(8:51:48 PM) elmoochous: its funny, not evil
(8:52:11 PM) NoToRiOuSdAyV: sometimes, i take my dull probe to work and stick in random orifices of random people
(8:52:33 PM) elmoochous: i tried to exterminate all the non jews
(8:52:52 PM) elmoochous: i called it my better then the final solution
a conversation between dae dae and moo moo
If you want peace, prepare for war
The Punisher
How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Homer Simpson
What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Mr. Burns
Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Homer Simpson
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Homer Simpson
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds... It makes ice.
Homer Simpson
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! Homer Simpson
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true! Homer Simpson
Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Homer Simpson
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin’but what good does that do me? Homer Simpson
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power--like G-d must feel when he’s holding a gun.
Homer Simpson
Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
Troy McClure
Those who don't know, talk. Those who don't talk, know.
Oh everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained us in the
backyard is cruel. Pulling his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is
cruel. Everything is cruel. So excuse me if I'm cruel.
Homer Simpson Bart Gets an Elephant
The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
What happened to you, Moe, you used to be about the booze!
Stop giving me that pop-up ad for ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . mowing my lawn.
George Carlin
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
George Carlin
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
George Carlin
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
George Carlin
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
George Carlin
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
George Carlin
No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
George Carlin
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
George Carlin
If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for G-d's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, "Do you want fries with that?"
George Carlin
Jay, I don't want to get anybody in trouble, but there was a problem with my fruit basket. It was filled with fruit, I mean, instead of cookies.
Homer Simpson (directed at Jay Leno, after Homer did the monologue on his show)
I am your button, I am your friend. If you have a call within the next ten minutes, please push me, it will make you happy.
An oft heard plea over the Superior airwaves
You ever fart so hard you cracked your back?
Larry the Cable Guy
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.
Homer Simpson
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
Can't you imagine how good going through this will make you feel
I promise, no one will ever know
There will be no chance of you getting caught
They never loved you anyway
So come on, be a man
And do what you are compelled to do
Disturbed Voices
I've got concrete shoes and I can't swim.
Feeder Cement
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Rami Belson
God gave us a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time.
Robin Williams
No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy
Henry Kissinger
Well you see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Cliff Claven from Cheers
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
Chris Rock
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde
If dolphins are so smart, why do they live in igloos?
South Park
Foot in mouth and head up asshole, whatcha talkin' 'bout?!
Difficult to dance 'round this one 'til you pull it out!
Tool The Pot
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Creepy old lady from Billy Madison
I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it
Erwin Schrodinger talking about quantum mechanics.
Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Leon Lederman
Trying to determine the structure of a protein by UV spectroscopy was like trying to determine the structure of a piano by listening to the sound it made while being dropped down a flight of stairs.
Francis Crick
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.
Galileo Galilei
The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.
T H Huxley
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
I was never truthful,
That's why I spend my days alone
Placebo Black eyed
DiTech Commercial: People are smart.
dayv: Dammit!!! No, thay are not!! They're dumb and dumb and dumb!!
Do you drink 2% because you think you're fat?
Napoleon Dynamite
Quit crying innocence,
They've already got you!
Apartment 26 Give Me More
Chris Griffin: Mom! Look at me!
[jumps in pool]
Chris Griffin: How was that?
Lois Griffin: Your third somersault was a little sloppy but what do I know, huh? It's been so long since i qualified for the Olympics.
Chris Griffin: You were in the Olympics?
Lois Griffin: No, I got pregnant with Meg and couldn't go. Now I'm Pro Choice.
Family Guy
Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. They think its immoral. You know, that really grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read!
Peter Griffin, Family Guy
[Dressed up as Spiderman climbing on a clothesline singing to the tune of the Batman theme] Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Spiderman, Spiderman/ Here comes Peter on a clothesline but his name's not Peter it is Spiderman, Spiderman/ Come on Lois let's get busy maybe right here in the garden Spiderman, Spiderman.
Peter Griffin, Family Guy
You know what really grinds my gears? This Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You're a... You're out there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you're trying to - why why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want? Well, I'll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus.
Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.
Billy Madison
Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.
Billy Madison
Billy Madison: Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
Billy Madison
[after putting dog poop in a paper bag and lighting it on fire on Old Man Clemens' porch]
Billy Madison: Oh my God, Old Man Clemens hates shit.
Frank: Shh, here he comes.
Old Man Clemens: Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara, it's one of those flaming bags again.
Barbara: Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.
Old Man Clemens: Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman. Call the fire department, this one's outta control.
[Old Man Clemens steps on the bag, then lifts up his boot and smells]
Old Man Clemens: Eck, poop again.
Billy Madison: He called the shit "poop".
[Billy, Jack, and Frank laugh hysterically]
Frank: This is the best night of my life.
[They continue laughing]
Old Man Clemens: I'll get you damn kids for this. You're all gonna die.
Billy Madison
Veronica Vaughn: No milk will ever be our milk.
Billy Madison
Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?
Billy Madison
Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swan.
Billy Madison
Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that's great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck?
[pretending to be duck]
Billy Madison: That's quacktastic.
Billy Madison
3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl
Billy Madison: Kid can't even read
Ernie: Cut it out dude your gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!
Billy Madison
Billy Madison: Hey, Carl. What's up?
Carl: Nothing much, Billy. I see you got a little sun today.
Billy Madison: You think so? I fell asleep by the pool for a few hours.
Eric: Did you fall asleep or did you pass out?
Billy Madison: [sarcastic laughter] Shut up!
Billy Madison
Billy Madison: Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll.
Billy Madison
Old Farm Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches, that damn sasquatch.
Billy Madison
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
Granpa Simpson
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go, Moe, my damn weiner kids are listening.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
Homer Simpson
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer Simpson
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Homer Simpson
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer Simpson
Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.
Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.
Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.
Homer no function beer well without.
Homer Simpson
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer Simpson
Carl: Oh no! Homer's going over those falls!
Lenny: Oh good! He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!
Lenny: Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!
Carl: Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!
Carl: Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants!
Bart: b-6
Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship!
Lisa: this game makes no sense.
Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!
Announcer: Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Wiggum (checking): Well I'll be damned.
It's sad when an adult cannot understand a simple concept: food from plate, into hand, directly into mouth, no detours to shirt.
From sex?
Well, I didn't get it from dancing!
The strong must protect the Sweet.
Homer Simpson
Homer no function beer well without.
Homer Simpson
Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Homer Simpson
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Homer Simpson
I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
Homer Simpson
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Homer Simpson
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Homer Simpson
Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Homer Simpson
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Homer Simpson
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Homer Simpson
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things!
Homer Simpson
How much,
Must I,
Live through,
Just to,
Get Away?!?!?!
Earshot Get Away
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
George Carlin
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Words of Wisdom
Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
Words of Wisdom
Life is pretty much meaningless. However, if you play your cards right, it can still be a million laughs.
Cecil The Straight Dope
Linda: With Haley's Comet out of ice, Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of sudden, intense global warming.
Morbo: Morbo is pleased but sticky.
Morbo: Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over twenty years. But apparently my wife hasn't been listening. [studio laughter] I WILL DESTROY HER!! And now, extend a formulaic greeting to Master Chef Elzar. So, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?
Elzar: Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond... with mango chutney.
Morbo: Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!!
Morbo: Scrumptious. Morbo will store this in his sac for future digestion.

Morbo: [weeping openly] The challenger's ugly food has shown us that even hideous things can be sweet on the inside.
Morbo: So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, and they couldn't believe it. They were delicious. But I digress... Tremble, puny Earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all!
Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!
Fry: Man, even the news monster is acting strange.
Morbo: ...and that's why the third-graders at P.S. 139 are Morbo's "Vermin of the Week".
Linda: In actual news, the human race was doomed to extinction today...
Linda: And in sports, Yankees fifth-blurnsman William Wu is out with an injured knee.
Morbo: So, humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed. Mua-ha-ha!
Morbo: Morbo will now announce tonight's candidates: puny human number one, puny human number two, and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon.
Nixon: Hello, Morbo. How's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question: if you saw delicious candy in the hands of a small child, would you seize and consume it?
Morbo: Morbo congratulates our gargantuan, cyborg President. May death come quickly to his enemies.
Linda: All in all, this is one day Mittens the Kitten won't soon forget.
Morbo: Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.
Security guard: Have you ever wanted to do anything when you were a kid?
dayv: When I was a kid, I wanted to be on vacation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Look how that turned out.
Today @ Saint Elizabeth's Hospital
If I wasn't such a weenie, do you think you'd still love me?
The Offspring I Choose
You know what grinds my gears? You, America. Fuck you! Diane?
Peter Griffin
Teacher: There is never any more time or money!
dayv: So you're saying that life sucks and just gets worse?
Senior Capstone
Partner: You're the smartest person I know!
dayv: That doesn't say much about the other people you know
ironic when complements are actually insults to others, isn't it?
She's going to die. Today, probably.
Nurse @ Resurrection
So, you brought a rose, some alcohol and condoms. What does this add up to?
Chris Hanson To Catch a Predator
Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?
Jack Black
Those who do evil to others - the killers, the rapists, psychos, sadists - you will come to know me well. Frank Castle is dead. Call me The Punisher.
I leave this as a declaration of intent - so no one will be confused.
1. "Sic vis pacem parabellum." Latin. Boot Camp Sergeant made us recite it like a prayer. "Sic vis pacem parabellum - If you want peace, prepare for war."
2. Frank Castle is dead. He died with his family.
3. In certain, extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue - natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it's an emotional response. No, not vengeance. Punishment.
Frank CastleThe Punisher
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all grilled leavin lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
Flobots Handlebars
Why is it that you physicists always require so much expensive equipment? Now the Department of Mathematics requires nothing but money for paper, pencils, and erasers...and the Department of Philosophy is better still. It doesn't even ask for erasers.
Isaac Asimov
Nothing in this world that's worth having is easy.
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete
Drawn only to be washed away
For the time that I've been given
I am what I am.
Five Finger Death Punch Never Enough

wait, another minute here, time will kill us after all
now can you feel its second hand wrapped around your neck
so fall into my eyes and fall into my lies
but don't you forget
the more you turn away, the more I want you to stay
Evans Blue Cold (But I'm Still Here)
Creasy's art is death. And he is about to paint his masterpiece
Man on Fire
Lisa: What are you gonna do?
Creasy: What I do best. I'm gonna kill 'em. Anyone that was involved. Anybody who profited from it. Anybody who opens their eyes at me.
Lisa: [Whispering] You kill 'em all.
Man on Fire
Elderly Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.
Man on Fire
Fuentes: A last wish, please, please. Please.
Creasy: Last wish? I wish you had more time.
Man on Fire
Pita: What was your first girlfriends' name?
Creasy: Nonya.
Pita: Nonya who?
Creasy: Nonya business.
Man on Fire
Sister Anna: Do you ever see the Hand of God in what you do?
Creasy: No, not for a long time.
Sister Anna: The Bible says, "Do not be over come with evil, but overcome...?
Creasy: But overcome evil with good."
Creasy: in spanish That's Romans Chapter 12 Verse 21.
Creasy: I am the sheep that got lost, Madre.
Man on Fire
Pita: Dear God, I do not ask for health or wealth. People ask you so often that you can't have any left. Give me, God, what else you have. Give me what no-one else asks for. Amen.
Man on Fire
Creasy: Pita, do you have a pencil?
Pita: I go to school, don't I?
Man on Fire
Creasy: The gunshot holds no fear, say it.
Pita: The gunshot holds no fear.
Creasy: You welcome the sound. In fact it's the sound that sets you free. You are a prisoner on this block until that sound sets you free.
Pita: The gunshot holds no fear!
Man on Fire
Creasy: Revenge is a meal best served cold.
Man on Fire
Creasy: I got all the time in the world. *You* don't, but I do.
Man on Fire
Fuentes: You know, I-I'm a professional.
Creasy: That's what everybody keeps saying. "I'm just a professional". Everybody keeps saying that to me. "I'm just a professional", "I'm just a professional". I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that.
Man on Fire
Creasy: [talking to "The Voice" on the phone right after shooting his brothers hand] I'm gonna take your family apart piece by piece, you understand me? Piece by piece.
Man on Fire
[Creasy is planning to go after Fuentes, a high-ranking corrupt police lieutenant]
Mariana: He's better protected than the president of Mexico!
Creasy: He's gonna need it.
Man on Fire
Creasy: There is no such thing as tough. There is trained and untrained. Now which are you?
Man on Fire
Creasy has just learned Samuel Ramos was behind his own daughter's kidnapping
Creasy: [to Samuel] I'm gonna ask your wife a couple of questions. You move... you make one sound... I'll snatch the life right outta you, understand?
Man on Fire
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her , "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
Henny Youngman
April and I were lying in bed the other day. My hands were slowly finding their way across her body.
I whispered, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world."
She whispered back, "I'll miss you."
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
I don't want to sound sexist, but I have some sexist things to say.
Stephen Colbert
A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly
Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-La they are, but not
in here.
Apu The Simpsons
I can see the strings that control the system.
The Flobots Handlebars
Trent: You're so money and you don't even know it!
I'm not on a diet, I didn't break my stomach. I broke my hip!
Some old lady @ the rehab hospital
It seems that I left my Bill of Rights at home.
Could you drive me home? I'm little bit drunk.
Homer Simpson to a stuffed bear.
When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.
the ininterwebs
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
Mr Garrison
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Gil Scott-Heron
If you want to know if she wants to do it, tell her that your penis is out for her. Sometimes you need to be blunt with people.
Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.
Paramore Misery Business
There is nothing as sad as a frog playing a banjo
Mike Doughty
Person #1 Should I stay or go?
Person #2: Well, I just met you. I don't think it would be right for you to stay.
It's like you're chewing it and then you get a big splooge of chocolate in your mouth.
Play all you like, but always play safe.
Wise words to live by.
Can I add something like...
Do you like american music?
The Violent Femmes American Music
Why you wanna treat me wrong?
I'm sorry that you're leaving,
but I'm happy that you're gone.
Sponge Treat Me Wrong
We can save the world, somebody's just gotta go first
Don't ruin a good thing with your penis.
jewMan Foo
I don't have to do anything but stay black and die!
Stand by Me
I think it's a dead-end road with women.
Andy Dick
Oh, this place is great! I can finally get Hepatitis!
I hope you guys have "Hobo Stab" insurance.
And no more sexual harassment suits! What's wrong with saying, "Nice tits?"
A man can fail many times, but isn't a failure until he gives up.
Fortune cookie
Healing people after they have fallen ill is vastly more expensive than preventing illness in the first place.
Many a health guru
I could smell this way, could go on forever
I'll never clean myself, you can all go straight to hell.
The Nixons Happy Song
It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
Some wierd law.
Whenever I get dumped (by a girlfriend), I nail the door shut so that no one can come inside, get a towel and clip it around my neck so it's like a Superman cape, take off my shoes so I can slide across the room, and...get a fake mic, like a celery stick or a pen, and I play any record that features the vocalist Ronnie James Dio. And you can just pretend you're Dio, because on every album he does, he has minimum one, usually three, *EVIL WOMAN LOOK OUT!*- songs.
Henry Rollins
You can get away with a lot of shit if it looks like it's all you know how to do.
Henry Rollins
The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to pull you down.
Henry Rollins
When you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive.
Henry Rollins
I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride
Henry Rollins
If you hate your parents, the man, or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do.
Henry Rollins
Want a good body? Work at it. Want to be a success? Work at it. Want to be truly exceptional? Be a touch insane... You need a little bit of insanity to do great things.
Henry Rollins
Nothing brings people together more than a mutual hatred.
Henry Rollins
Good question about the anger. It is perhaps something else; an awareness, a catalyst. All I know is, when everything seems to be going well, it feels like a scam!
Henry Rollins
Some of these edible underbritches need to be refrigerated.
Larry the Cable Guy
Those who make peaceful revolution will make violent revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy
Well I'm so empty
I'm better off without you and you're better off without me
Five Finger Death Punch The Bleeding
Well you're so unclean
I'm better off without you and you're better off without me
Five Finger Death Punch The Bleeding
The lying, the bleeding, the screaming
Was tearing me apart
The hatred, the beatings (disaster); it's over
Five Finger Death Punch The Bleeding
Stay out of Riverdale!
The Losers from Archie comics to Homer Simpson
"Scientific Practice" for nurses means investigating why their patient's ass got dirty. It is because they shit themselves.
Are they booing reading?
Jon Stewart
I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'm a fuck this bitch, I'll fuck anything that moves! Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at, I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah. Doesn't that fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head and take out his fuckin' soul. Remind me if he tries to buy someething, I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag. Hey, what's up baby? What's up sluts?
Jay Clerks
Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Full Metal Jacket
A big rack makes up for everything.
jewMan Foo @ the bar
Is that anything like a cemetary? Cuz I gotta take a leak.
Frye Futurama
You can never trust a drug addict.
Breaking Bad
Just because we don't know the right answer doesn't mean there isn't one.
Some of us are dicks, some of us are pussies and some of us are assholes. Dicks Fuck everyone, pussies bitch about being fucked and assholes shit everywhere
Well maybe Mr. T hacked the game and created the Mohawk class, maybe Mr. T is pretty handy with computers, had that occurred to you Mr. Condescending Director?
Mr. T World of Warcraft commercial
There are no sodomy laws in this state!
SMBC and dayv since he saw the comic and found out it is true about Illinois
I'm forty-two years old. I have two daughters and a son. Beautiful son. And I find myself in a place where I no longer care about why we are attacked. I only care that one hundred people woke up a few mornings ago, and had no idea it was their last. When we catch the man who murdered these people, I don't care to ask even one question. I want to kill him. Do you understand?
Colonel Faris Al Ghazi The Kingdom

So how does it feel to know that someones kid in the heart of America
Has blood on their hands, fighting to defend your rights
So you can maintain the lifestyle that insults this family's existence
Well, where I'm from we have a special salute we aim high in the air
Towards all the pompous asses who spend their days pointing fingers
Avenged Sevenfold Critical Acclaim
Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a padddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'!
Jasper The Simpsons
Did you hit somebody with the Previa?
Yeah, I think I know you
You spent a lot of time full of hate
A hate that was pure sunshine
A hate that saw for miles
A hate that kept you up at night
A hate that filled your every waking moment
A hate that carried you for a long time
Henry Rollins I Know You
Well, maybe they do know
But if they do, they sure do a good job of hiding it
It astounds you how they can be so smooth
How they seem to pass through life as if life itself
was some divine gift
And it infuriates you to watch yourself with your
apparent skill at finding every way possible to screw it up
Henry Rollins I Know You
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
Charles McCabe
I live in a shack and poop in an out house.
Clem King of the Hill
I'm going to knock off your head and stomp down your liver!
Bernie Mac
I'm going shopping for a tiny, pink coffin!
Bernie Mac
Nanny nanny boo boo,
Stick your head in poo poo!
Bernie Mac
I live in a world of fantasy,
So keep your reality away from me,
I see what I want to see,
And that is all okay by me
Itzah C Kret
you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months over analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. tupac
Farnsworth: Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property.
Hippie: You can’t OWN property, man.
Farnsworth: I can. But that’s because I’m not a penniless hippie. Futurama
I'm going to shoot you in the head and fuck you through the brain hole!
Grosse Pointe Blank
That is the closest I've ever been to your wang, and I don't want to do it again.
jewMan Foo
I don't love anything the way he loves music.
Steve Lopez The Soloist
I've got a lump too and mine's easier to get rid of.
Peter Griffin
Tate: Did you get any sleep last night?
dayv: Nope, but the cocaine worked reeeeaaaalllly fucking well!
Today on the amb'lance
Actually, I am a 75%er and I'm giving you an extra 20.
Ace Rockolla
Fishsticks are not an aphrodisiac. You are thinking of deer penis.
Dwight The Office
Who hangs a heavy bag with toggle bolts?!?!
Ace Rockolla
Monkey see,
Monkey do,
Monkee pee on you.
The Office
I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!
Simon Pegg Run, Fatboy, Run!
Whit: I actually ran the London Marathon
Dennis: Oh that's a coincidence.
Whit: Why's that?
Dennis: Oh, I watched it on the tele... well... the last hour... I sleep in on Sundays.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Dennis: I went for a bit of a run this morning and I think I've got a bit of a... rash...
[indicates downwards]
Shop Worker: Yes...
Dennis: Y'know... Down in the...
Shop Worker: [agitated] Yes, yes, I understand.
Dennis: Scrotal Zone.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Gordon: Go on then, run!
Dennis: Isn't there some kind of like... special technique?
Gordon: Well... yeah... you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Maya: I saw your friend Gordon this morning
Dennis: I'll replace anything he stole.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I've got a surprise for you!
Dennis: Oh!... it's not a spatula is it?
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Gordon: I got you a present
Libby: Aww thanks
Gordon: It's a CD, I hope you haven't got it. Because I don't have a receipt and I didn't exactly buy it.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Gordon: That was the second most disgusting fluid I've ever had in my eye.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Dennis: [surprised] What are you doing here?
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I'm the assistant coach.
Dennis: How'd you get to be assistant coach?
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Because I have the spatula!
[whacks Dennis with it]
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Dennis: I thought it would be a good chance for me to get to know Whit a little better, so...
Libby: Well, maybe we should all go out to dinner then?
Dennis: Really?
Libby: Yeah, and then we could go dancing...
Dennis: You're joking...?
Libby: No, not at all. And afterwards we could come back here and have a threesome.
Dennis: [thinks it over] You *are* joking.
Libby: Of course, I am!
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Gordon: Dennis, you're my best friend, I'm not going to bet against you. Not with these odds.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
Dennis: We should set the alarm for about 7 o'clock.
Gordon: I don't have an alarm clock.
Dennis: Why not?
Gordon: I never need to be anywhere.
Run, Fatboy, Run!
I can take care of myself. I've been using the Bowflex.
Chip Dove Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check: I go both ways.
Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: Jennifer's evil.
Chip Dove: I know.
Needy Lesnicky: No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.
Jennifer's Body
I think it's important to reach out to our fans in the shitty areas, too.
Nikolai Wolf Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: You're a terrible best friend. You stole my toys when we were little. You poured lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer Check: And now I'm eating your boyfriend. At least I'm consistent.
Jennifer's Body
Nutritionist: Just one Toastem, huh?
Needy Lesnicky: I like Toastems.
Nutritionist: That's good. But I'm not sure a Toastem can provide you with sufficient energy for your day. I'd recommend more complex carbohydrates...
[Needy kicks the Nutritionist so hard, it sends her flying across several tables before hitting the floor]
Needy Lesnicky: I recommend that you shut the fuck up!
[spits on her as the Nutritionist spits a bloody tooth onto the floor]
Jennifer's Body
Jennifer Check: I think the singer wants me.
Needy Lesnicky: Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
Jennifer Check: Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that *hurts*. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.
Jennifer's Body
Jennifer Check: I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It's about a girl who's, like, half sushi. She must've had sex with a blowhole or something.
Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: [after Colin asks Jennifer out] Colin's really nice.
Jennifer Check: He listens to maggot rock. He wears nail polish. My dick is bigger than his.
Jennifer's Body
Jennifer Check: [to Needy] Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? You're such a butch!
Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: How are you going to get alcohol?
Jennifer Check: I'll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.
Jennifer's Body
Needy Lesnicky: You're a jerk.
Jennifer Check: Nice insult, Hannah Montana.
Jennifer's Body
$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.

Lazarus Long Time Enough for Love
I may have a mansion and tons of money, but I'll never get the girl because my genetics are for short, fat kids with snub noses.
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an
actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?
dayv: Are you ready?
Partner: I was born ready.
dayv: I was born naked and crying.
Walt Kowalski: [to Su] Get me another beer, Dragon Lady! This one's running on empty.
Gran Turino
Youa: You're funny.
Walt Kowalski: I've been called a lot of things, but never funny.
Gran Turino
Thao Vang Lor: What was it like to kill someone?
Walt Kowalski: You don't want to know.
Gran Turino
Father Janovich: Why didn't you call the police?
Walt Kowalski: Well you know, I prayed for them to come but nobody answered.
Gran Turino
Thug: How old are you anyway?
Sue Lor: Mentally, I'm way too old for you.
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: I'll blow a hole in your face then go inside and sleep like a baby.
Gran Turino
Sue Lor: There's a ton of food.
Walt Kowalski: Yeah, well just keep your hands off my dog.
Sue Lor: No worries, we only eat cats.
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: Would it kill you to buy American?
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: What the hell does everybody want with my Gran Torino?
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: I confess that I have no desire to confess.
Gran Turino
Thao Vang Lor: [Walt's smoking] You should quit. Those things are bad for you.
Walt Kowalski: Yeah? So's being in a gang.
Gran Turino
Walt Kowalski: [to Father Janovich] The thing that haunts a guy is the stuff he wasn't ordered to do.
Gran Turino
Father Janovich: What can I do for you Walt?
Walt Kowalski: I'm here for confession.
Father Janovich: Holy Jesus, what did you do?
Gran Turino
Sue Lor: Hmong girls over here fit in better. The girls go to college and the boys go to jail.
Gran Turino
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to
see it tried on him personally.
Abraham Lincoln
Or as the US Navy says: there is no wrong hole.
George Carlin
The best comedy is always offending somebody.
Comedians everywhere
Shut up brain, or I will stab you with a Q-Tip!!
Homer Simpson
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
Charles Austin Beard
I believe that they like to be called "Jigroes"
Party Down
All they'll have left to tell you is the unholy truth: that kids just die. And babies die too. It just happens. So you live with it.
Alicia Browning Home Room
People who think that morning is the best part of the day are the same kinds of people that think crust is the best part of the pizza.
Alicia Browning Home Room
Deanna Cartwright: There's nothing wrong with being a virgin!
Alicia Browning: Of course not. It's hip to be a virgin nowadays.
Deanna Cartwright: It's never hip to be a virgin. It's really hard.
Alicia Browning: I'm sure it is. Oh, there's a song about it.
Deanna Cartwright: A song?
Alicia Browning: Yeah. I think it's Bananarama? No, no, no, it's the Go-Gos! "Our Lips are sealed."
Deanna Cartwright: What?
Alicia Browning: "Our Lips are sealed."
[while rolling the eyes down and then looking back up]
Alicia Browning: It's about a bunch of chicks trying to stay virgins.
Deanna Cartwright: Okay, first of all, that's gross. Second of all, you're wrong. It's about a bunch of girls trying to keep a secret.
Alicia Browning: If I wasn't getting any, I'd want to keep it a secret too.
Home Room
Deanna Cartwright: [about Alicia's mocking comments toward the police] They're the police!
Alicia Browning: Yeah, we go way back.
Home Room
Mrs. Cartwright: What sorts of things are we supposed to notice?
Det. Martin Van Zandt: Nothing. You're just her parents.
Home Room
Alicia Browning: What did you put in this?
Deanna Cartwright: Potassium chlorate. It'd kill you before you hit the ground.
Alicia Browning: So it's faster than smoking.
Deanna Cartwright: You made a joke.
Alicia Browning: Yeah. And it took a lot out of me. So, don't expect another one. Come on.
Deanna Cartwright: [pause] If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't a very good joke.
Home Room
Det. Macready: [about the kids who bring guns to school] It's never the bullies, is it?
Alicia Browning: Of course not. Bullies have to graduate, so that they can become police officers.
Home Room
I'm a fan of nuttiness and the reasons behind it.
Alicia Browning Home Room
Lucas: Mitchell's the man Joe.
Joe: And the man calls all the shots.
Lucas: Damn the man.
Joe: Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man. I'm the idiot. You're the screw-up. And we're all losers. Welcome to music town.
Empire Records
Corey: So is this how your life's gonna be now, huh? You're just gonna screw every has-been until your tits fall down and they don't want you anymore?
Empire Records
Debra: No visible tattoos.
Gina: No revealing clothing.
Debra: We're both screwed. At least you're used to it.
Empire Records
Warren: Who glued these quarters down?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: What the hell for, man?
A.J.: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.
Empire Records
Debra: I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic. A pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip.
Empire Records
A.J.: You did have hair when you went in there, right?
Debra: Yeah. It's still in the sink, if you want to glue it.
Empire Records
Mitch: Why do I get the feeling that I'm being royally screwed?
Joe: Because you are, Mitch.
Empire Records
Berko: [Warren is being taken to jail] Don't drop the soap, Warren.
Empire Records
[Lucas has just gambled away all Joe's money]
Lucas: I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this.
Empire Records
Lucas: Joe, I think it's gonna be okay.
Joe: What makes you think that?
Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
Empire Records
Gina: Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager, Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.
Empire Records
Lucas: The fat man walks alone.
Empire Records
Mark: [into television camera] Damn the man. Save the Empire.
Empire Records
Lucas: Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head.
Empire Records
Gina: Isn't it customary to leave the scene after committing the crime?
Debra: Definitely an amateur.
Empire Records
Lucas: I used to pee in my bed. I did. I, I wet my bed until I was ten. My mother turned me over to the county when I was ten to- not for being a bed wetter- but for being a bad seed. Anyways, 3 years went by, then Joe came. And he took me out, and I became the well adjusted person I am today.
Empire Records
Jane: What are you doing later?
Joe: I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell I can't decide.
Empire Records
Lucas: Mark, who's your favorite singer?
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark: [thinks] ... Does Axl have a jack?
Warren: No way man!... Axl would pound on the gas, turn the wheel, take aim, and take that sucker out!
Empire Records
Joe: Gina, you'd better go home.
Gina: Am I fired?
Joe: Have I fired anyone today? No. Why would I start with you?
Empire Records
Lady at Craps Table: Feeling lucky?
Lucas: I am guided by a force much greater than luck.
Empire Records
Does Wayne Brady have to correct a bitch?
This plan is so great, it is retarded!
Peter Griffin
Dante: [while stoned] Drive, monkey, drive!
Grandma's Boy
Dante: Wow... where do you get your weed?
Mr. Cheezle: From you, Dante.
Dante: Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!
Grandma's Boy
Dante: Does anyone want to try this weed? It's called the Brown Bomber.
Alex: Why is it called that?
Dante: Because when you smoke it you get so stoned that you shit your pants! Hahahaha!
Jeff: Uh, I don't wanna do that.
Barry: Yeah, I already shit my pants this month.
Grandma's Boy
Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom!
Grandma's Boy
Dante: Dr. Shakalu brought my some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer.
Alex: You do know that lions eat deer, right?
Dante: Thats true kid. Doctor, we gotta be careful.
Grandma's Boy
Josh: Eat it whore.
Grandma's Boy
Dante: I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a fuck.
Grandma's Boy
Alex: [hangs up the phone] Dude... you have to give me a ride.
Dante: [after smoking] I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.
Grandma's Boy
Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.
Grace: What's that?
Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.
Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my... [thinks hard] 3,000-something.
Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.
Grandma's Boy
Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: Who is this? Is this the devil?
Grandma's Boy
Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
Grandma's Boy
Jeff: This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.
Grandma's Boy
Alex: Ever hear of a dog?
Dante: Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY fucks with a lion.
Grandma's Boy
Dante: Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
Grandma's Boy
Barry: Hey Dante- My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night...
Dante: No shit? And by "Girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?
Barry: [laughing hysterically] ... yes... [Starts to cry]
Grandma's Boy
Alex: Don't judge me Monkey.
Grandma's Boy
Time to nut up or shut up.
Tallahassee: Not bad for a scrawny little spit-fuck.
Tallahassee: [Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks!
Columbus: It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.
Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.
Columbus: I've actually been meaning to ask you, have you been to Columbus, because I've been trying to...
Wichita: Have you never played the quiet game?
Tallahassee: I haven't cried like that since Titanic!
Columbus: You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.
Tallahassee: Don't kill me with my own gun.
Columbus: Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that you're a wonderful human being.
Tallahassee: Forget about it. But FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less than that.
Tallahassee: In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos."
Little Rock: Do you have any regrets?
Bill Murray: Garfield maybe.
Tallahassee: Hop in the car, Evil Knievel. Let's go ride the rollercoaster.
Brian: Is there something wrong with the Smuckers? It tastes funny.
Peter(yelling nonchalantly from other room):IT WAS ON MY PENIS!!
Family Guy
Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.
Tropic Thunder
Kirk Lazarus: [to Tugg Speedman] What do you mean, "you people?"
Alpa Chino: [stares at Lazarus, and then gets angry] What do *you* mean, "you people?"
Kirk Lazarus: Huh?
Tropic Thunder
Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...
Tugg Speedman: ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
Kirk Lazarus: Damn!
Tugg Speedman: In a weird way I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that is was ok to be stupid or dumb.
Kirk Lazarus: To be a moron.
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: To be moronical.
Tugg Speedman: Exactly, to be a moron.
Kirk Lazarus: An imbecile.
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest mother fucker that ever lived.
Tugg Speedman: [pause] When I was playing the character.
Tropic Thunder
Kirk Lazarus: Cover me, limp dick fuck-ups!
Tropic Thunder
Jeff Portnoy: [to Four Leaf] You grew hands?
Tropic Thunder
Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you really going to abandon this movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.
Tropic Thunder
Tugg Speedman: I killed one, Rick... the thing I love most in the world.
Rick Peck: A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
Tropic Thunder
Tugg Speedman: [the boy hands him a box, he removes the cloth from the box and looks inside] A little twig-man oscar. I 'm going to call you half-squat, and you can call me... papa
Tropic Thunder
Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.
Tropic Thunder
Les Grossman: I will fucking massacre you!
Tropic Thunder
Les Grossman: Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy. So why don't you get the hell out of here before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass...
Tropic Thunder
I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy!
Tropic Thunder
Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?
Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a...
Goose: We!
Maverick: Uh, sorry, Goose. *We* happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Top Gun
Doc: The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!
Back to the Future Part II
Doc: Marty! What in the name of Sir Isaac H. Newton happened here?
Back to the Future Part II
Young Biff: Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
Old Biff: It's *leave*, you idiot! "Make like a tree, and leave." You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong.
Young Biff: All right then, LEAVE! And take your book with you!
Back to the Future Part II
Oak Park Cemetery is where we were born and grew up.
dayv - Today talking about Oak Park, IL
Marty McFly: That's right, Doc. November 12, 1955.
Doc: Unbelievable, that old Biff could have chosen that particular date. It could mean that that point in time inherently contains some sort of cosmic significance. Almost as if it were the temporal junction point for the entire space-time continuum. On the other hand, it could just be an amazing coincidence.
Back to the Future Part II
Lorraine Baines: [frowns at a stuttering Marty] Are you all right?
Marty McFly: [stares at his mother's obviously enlarged breasts] I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just that you're so... you're so... big.
Back to the Future Part II
Marty McFly: Nice shot Doc! You're not gonna believe this, we gotta go back to 1955.
Doc: I don't believe it!
Back to the Future Part II
Marty McFly: I don't get it, Doc. I mean, how can all this be happening? It's like we're in Hell or something.
Doc: No, it's Hill Valley. Although I can't imagine Hell being much worse!
Back to the Future Part II
Doc: Oh, and Marty, be careful around that Griff character. He's got a few short circuits in his bionic implants.
Back to the Future Part II
[after Marty pushes Griff]
Griff Tannen: Well! Since when did you become the physical type?
Back to the Future Part II
[after leaving Jennifer on her front porch swing]
Marty McFly: I don't remember bars being on these windows...
Back to the Future Part II
Biff Tannen: Hey kid, say hello to your grandma for me.
Back to the Future Part II
Western Union Man: Kid, you all right? You need any help?
Marty McFly: There's only one man who can help me.
Back to the Future Part II
Young Doc: Nice talking to you. Maybe we'll bump into each other sometime again in the future.
Older Doc: Or in the past.
Back to the Future Part II
Marty McFly: Doc, we better back up. We don't have enough road to get up to 88.
Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Back to the Future
Dr. Emmett Brown: Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88mph the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine.
Back to the Future
George McFly: Lou. Give me a milk...
[dramatic pause]
George McFly: Chocolate.
Back to the Future
Hey, McFly. I thought I told you never to come in here.
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: Time circuits on. Flux Capacitor... fluxxing. Engine running. All right!
[the engine stops suddenly]
Back to the Future
Lorraine Baines: Will we ever see you again?
Marty McFly: I guarantee it.
Back to the Future
George McFly: Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!
Back to the Future
Dr. Emmett Brown: [holding Marty's video camera] No wonder your president has to be an actor, he's gotta look good on television.
Back to the Future
Mr. Strickland: You've got a real attitude problem, McFly. You're a slacker! You remind me of your father when he went here. He was a slacker, too.
Back to the Future
Sam Baines: Stella! Another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my car! Come on out here and help me take him in the house!
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something?
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: Where are my pants?
Lorraine Baines: Over there, on my hope chest.
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: Since when can weathermen predict the weather? Let alone the future!
Back to the Future
Mark Dixon: Scram, McFly. I'm cuttin' in.
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: [lost for words] I've got to go pick up my mother.
Dr. Emmett Brown: Good.
Marty McFly: [gets into the Doc's car] Listen... If things don't work out at the dance tonight, and my folks don't get back together, when do you think I'll start to fade out?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Beats the shit out of me.
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: Dear Doctor Brown, On the night I travel beck in time you will be shot by terrorists. Please do whatever is nessisary to prevent this terrible tragedy from occurring. Your friend, Marty.
Back to the Future
Grandma Tannen: Biff, Biff, where are you goin' now?
Biff Tannen: I told you, grandma, I'm goin' to the dance.
Grandma Tannen: When you comin' home?
Biff Tannen: I'll get home, when I get home.
Grandma Tannen: Don't forget to turn off the garage lights!
Back to the Future Part II
Red the Bum: Crazy drunk pedestrians!
Back to the Future Part II
Young Biff: Manure! I hate manure!
Back to the Future Part II
Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Precisely.
Marty McFly: Whoa, this is heavy.
Dr. Emmett Brown: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?
Back to the Future
I don\EFrsquo;t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me members. Groucho Marx
Harry: Helen... is having an affair!
Gib: Welcome to the club, man!
True Lies
Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin?
Harry: Dont be ridiculous, she's only - -what is she now?
Gib: She's fourteen!
Harry: She's fourteen years old!
Gib: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.
True Lies
Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin?
Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?
Harry: Yeah: I'm going to kill you pretty soon.
True Lies
Gib: Same thing happened to me with wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?
True Lies
Faisil: They call him the Sand Spider.
Spencer Trilby: Why?
Faisil: Probably because it sounds scary.
True Lies
Gib: Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.
True Lies
Simon: Would a spy pee himself?
True Lies
Faisil: [the van is slipping on ice] Hey, watch it.
Gib: It's called ice, and it gets a little slick.
True Lies
Harry: [Loopy from the truth serum he's been given] Ask me a question I would normally lie to.
Helen Tasker: Are we gonna die?
Harry: Yep!
Helen Tasker: I'd say it's working.
Harry: They're gonna shoot us in the head or they gonna torture us to death or they gonna leave us here when the bomb blows up...
Helen Tasker: Harry!
True Lies
Gib: Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.
True Lies
Helen Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone?
Harry: Yeah, but they were all bad.
True Lies
Simon: I have to lie to women to get laid. And I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!
True Lies
Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!
True Lies
Gib: The guy is a goddamn used car salesman! This just keeps getting better and better!
[Harry gives him a dirty look]
Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this is hard for you. But you gotta admit if this was me you'd be laughing your ass off right about now!
True Lies
Gib: I'm beginning to like this guy.
[Harry gives him a mean look]
Gib: Oh, we've still gotta kill him. That's a given.
True Lies
Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.
[to Harry Tasker]
Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.
True Lies
Faisil: [Hacking into a computer] Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt, and I AM GOIN...
Gib: Just copy the goddam files, OK?
True Lies
Harry: Hi guys.
Gib: Well that worked real good. Right out the old front gate.
Harry: Can you lean back a second...
[Harry shoots two remaining pursuers]
True Lies
Harry: Can you hurry up. My horse is getting tired.
Gib: Your horse?
True Lies
Salim Abu Aziz: Do you know what this is?
Harry: I know what this is...
[Salim smiles]
Harry: This is an espresso machine.
[Salim frowns]
Harry: No, no wait. It's a snow cone maker.
[Salim approaches Harry]
Harry: Is it a water heater?
True Lies
Gib: [over radio] All right twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?
Harry: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.
Gib: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.
True Lies
Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.
True Lies
Harry Tasker: First I'm gonna use you as a human shield, then I gonna kill this guard over there, with the Patterson trocar on the table. Then I was thinking about breaking your neck.
Samir: And how are you going to do all that?
Harry: You know my handcuffs?
Samir: Hmm...
Harry: [hold his hands up] I picked them.
True Lies
Harry: Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.
True Lies
Harry: [translating the terrorist celebrations for Helen] ... We're cool, we're badasses, blah, blah, blah.
True Lies
Simon: Take her! Take her! Oh, god, don't hurt me!
True Lies
What in the sweet chocolate Christ is a metrosexual?
Chief Jerry Reilly Rescue Me
In bed, she's a wonder. Out of bed, she's the jolly green goddamn giant. Best piece of ass I ever had.
Franco Rivera Rescue Me
There's no probably about it. I've seen the pictures. She's more of a man than I am.
Chief Jerry Reilly Rescue Me
Let me tell you something, sister, you serve two purposes in this house - you can give me a blow job or make me a sandwich. I'm not in the mood for head and I had a late breakfast, so you're shit out of luck.
Tommy Gavin Rescue Me
Tommy Gavin: Listen, you can meet a guy's ex-girlfriend in a bar and feel her up.
Kenny Lou: Yes.
Tommy Gavin: You can be in a bar, meet a guy's ex-wife, and?
Kenny Lou: [makes circular gestures on his chest] Titty action.
Tommy Gavin: Titty action. You can even grab his sister's ass while the guy is in the same bar.
Kenny Lou: Yes you could.
Tommy Gavin: And it would all fall under the giant unbrella rule of, "Sorry, I was drunk."
Kenny Lou: Like Visa and Mastercard, accepted the world over.
Tommy Gavin: In fact, that's why the rule was invented all those years ago, by the... Romans?
Kenny Lou: Earlier than that, my friend: the Druids!
Tommy Gavin: [counting on his fingers] But girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, wife, ex-wife, sister, half-sister:
[sweeps his hands]
Tommy Gavin: No pussy!
Rescue Me
[watching Sean Garrity and Probie playing Scrabble] Look at this - a meeting of the minds and the minds are a no-show.
Chief Jerry Reilly Rescue Me
Uncle Teddy: [in Tommy's house, the kitchen is an absolute mess] Hey, Tommy! Check it out! I made chili tonight!
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, no shit. What did ya do, mix it with a goddamn shotgun?
Rescue Me
The fact that you even have a face repertoire makes you... suspect.
Jimmy Keefe Rescue Me
Franco Rivera: He's retarded.
Kenny Lou: Like Rainman retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?
Rescue Me
Janet Gavin: [She and Sheila are sitting in the kitchen of the firehouse looking at one another and texting insults between them. About one particular text from Sheila] You spelled it wrong.
Sean Garrity: [He later comes in and glances down at Janet's cell phone, which still has the misspelled word on the screen] What's a "cunf"?
Rescue Me
Tommy Gavin: [to Sebastian] Hey asshole!
Sebastian: [Nervously drops his keys and picks them back up again] I know who you are! She's mine, she loves me!
Tommy Gavin: I got news for you, pal! She doesn't love you, she hates your guts, and I'm gonna tell you somethin' else. Next time you come around, I'm not calling the cops. I'm gonna kick your midget little ass myself. OK, "Sebastian"?
Sebastian: OK, OK. That would be the next time you have the balls to take her out on a date! You got that?
Tommy Gavin: Really?
Sebastian: Yeah!
Tommy Gavin: Really?
[Makes threatening motion towards Sebastian, and Sebastian drives off]
Angie: He's leaving?
Tommy Gavin: Yeah. By the way, this guy's tiny. I've taken bigger shits than this guy.
Angie: I'm telling you, Tommy.
Tommy Gavin: He knows kung-fu. Woooh, I'm scared.
Rescue Me
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home.
Sixx AM Life is Beautiful
Zack Brown: I'm a guy. You give me two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it like a filthy MacGyver!
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Customer: Hi, can I have a coffee? Black?
Delaney: Can't you see we talking, White?
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack Brown: Have you seen that Joe Francis guy who made Girls Gone Wild? That guy's the biggest fucking idiot piece of shit in the world and he has a jet and a fucking island!
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack Brown: [imagining Miri in a porn film] Oh, my God, yeah.
Miriam Linky: What? You got an idea?
Zack Brown: We could make a porno.
Miriam Linky: Not the idea I was lookin' for.
Zack Brown: What? No, that is a fuckin' awesome idea. Are you shitting me? That guy, Brandon St. Randy, Bobby Long's boyfriend, he said he makes a hundred grand a year because he shoots and distributes his own porno flicks.
Miriam Linky: If it's so easy, how come everybody doesn't do it?
Zack Brown: Because other people have options - and dignity - which we do not have, which puts us in an amazingly advantageous position!
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack Brown: Dude, with your cut of the profits, you're gonna get two flat screens. OK? You'll have one in your living room. You'll have one in your bathroom!
Delaney: One in the bathroom? You know, it's always been my dream to watch shit while I shit.
Zack Brown: Everyone with an ass loves to watch shit while they shit! I'm gonna make that happen for you, man.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Brandon: Oh my god... no!
Miriam Linky: What?
Brandon: Granny Panties?
Miriam Linky: Excuse me?
Brandon: This is so crazy! I was literally just watching you like right before we got here! This is you, right?
[pulls out his iPhone and shows a YouTube clip of Miri in a changing room wearing big underwear. The narrator says "My name's Granny Panties and nobody wants to fuck me! Nothing's whiter then my big gay ass."]
Miriam Linky: [Miri gasps in horror]
Zack Brown: Where'd you get that?
Brandon: Oh, I entered 'gay' and 'ass' and it was the top hit. It's had 200 thousand views in three hours. Honey, you are, like, I'm actually jealous right now cause you're like super famous!
Miriam Linky: [to Bobby] You're gay?
Bobby Long: [apologetically] Yeah...
Miriam Linky: And I'm the internet wearing... a diaper?
Brandon: Who knew you'd come to Pittsburg and meet a celebrity?
Miriam Linky: I'm gonna binge drink now until I pass out now.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zack Brown: You don't wanna fuck a stranger in a porn movie for some strange reason. I guess we could fuck.
Miriam Linky: Ew
Zack Brown: Fuck you.
Miriam Linky: No I mean you're an okay enough looking guy and everything.
Zack Brown: Holy fuck thank you. You're an alright looking gal how does that feel?
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Glenn Beck has Nazi tourettes.
Lewis Black The Daily Show
If America is the great melting pot, then L.A. public transportation is the gooey shit baked on the bottom.
David Walsh Employee of the month
I've never been one to judge a book by its cover. Unless, of course, the cover of the book reads: "The Guy Sitting Next To Me Just Shit Himself"
David Walsh Employee of the month
David Walsh: [pulling a gun on Mr. Gartin] Tell me the world is a fair place.
Mr. Gartin: It's not, and try to remember that while your ass bleeds as you're being passed from nigger to wop in the showers at San Quinton.
Employee of the month
Jack: [after hearing David was fired] Tell that fuckstick boss of yours to take tomorrow's work day and shove it up his dick!
David Walsh: I don't even know what that means.
Jack: He'll know what it means!
Employee of the month
Kyle: What's the matter, sunshine? Step in some shit?
David Walsh: You're an asshole, Kyle.
Kyle: Ya think?
David Walsh: How do you sleep at night?
Kyle: Usually naked. On one of the newer, younger employees.
David Walsh: Oh. That explains the smile on Bob's face. Go easy on him, he's just a janitor.
Employee of the month
Whisper: [after Jack hires her to sleep with David, but David prefers to just talk with her] Do you want a blowjob or something?
David Walsh: No, I'm good. Thanks.
Whisper: Do you wanna fuck?
David Walsh: You know, that's really sweet, but, uh... I don't think it's a good idea.
Whisper: You can jerk off on my tits if you want.
David Walsh: You know, as much as I'd love to, I think I'm gonna pass.
[stops to open a beer]
David Walsh: Whisper, do you have a boyfriend?
Whisper: Yeah.
David Walsh: What would you do if he was having sex with another girl?
Whisper: Play with her tits?
Employee of the month
Jack: They don't deserve the steam off your piss!
David Walsh: Are you smoking crack?
Jack: No, not... not right now.
Employee of the month
Jack: You ever watch figure skating, man?
David Walsh: Please don't talk. I've got a lot on my mind.
Jack: I'm not into the sushi, but Michelle Kwan...
David Walsh: What are you doing? Can we just sit here and not talk? Can we do that? Let's just try and do that.
Jack: ...I'd suck sake out of her ass in front of my grandmother.
Employee of the month
David Walsh: Jack, you know Eric's gay.
Jack: Ya, he's here, he's queer, I'm used to it. I have no problems with queers.
Eric: Well, the community is going to be so thrilled to hear that, Jack.
Jack: I mean it! I mean, sucking dick, when chicks do it, I not only applaud, I want to watch it. I got, I got three-hour pornos with nothing but wall-to-wall ball to jaw. But when I think about chowing down on some other guys' wrinkled Mr. Lincoln...
[makes a face and tries to contain his laughter]
Eric: Jack, are you a cartoon character? I mean, does someone come to your house every morning and draw you on an easel?
Employee of the month
Eric: Jack, I'm thinking of a number between one and ten.
Jack: Uh... Six.
Eric: Oh, so close. It was "Go fuck yourself!"
Employee of the month
David Walsh: You just gave a dead woman's bracelet to an eighteen year old stripper, who's gonna fuck you in the parking lot, while you snort crank off a hunting knife.
Jack: Your point is?
Employee of the month
It's not "stealing" if you're family. But, seriously, don't tell your mom.
Fish The Rocker
Loads of elevators play Celine Dion - that don't make it right.
Fish The Rocker
Some people carry a rabbit's foot, I like to rock a pocket of puke.
Fish The Rocker
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: 1991 called, they want their teenage angst back.
Amelia: Omigod, they just called again they want that joke back.
The Rocker
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: How dare you?
Moby Type Kid: Excuse me?
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: How dare you call yourself a musician?
Moby Type Kid: Loads of bands use drum loops!
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Loads of elevators play Celine Dion - that don't make it right. Now get your Devil Box outta here!
The Rocker
Curtis: I thought you were supposed to be the responsible adult.
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Oh I'm responsible alright. Responsible for partying till my nuts catch fire!
The Rocker
Matt Gadman: Sorry, uncle Rob. Where we playing too loud?
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Too loud is not in my vocabulary.
The Rocker
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Can I have everyone's attention. Me and my band are going to be playing at the Q Arena, and it is never to late to rock!
Stan: YEAH!
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: YEAH!
Stan: Yeah!
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: It is never to late to rock n' roll!
Stan: Alright, alright. Come on guys, stage dive. Stage dive!
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Stage dive!
Stan: Yeah, we'll body surf you out the front door.
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Rock n' roll.
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: Ow ow ow, watch my carpal tunnel.
The Rocker
Smiling is for the weak.
Amelia The Rocker
Drunk girl singing: Hit me with your best shot!
Jon: Does she want me to go up there and punch her?
Tonight at the bar
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson
You mean I'm going to stay this color?!?
Naven R Johnson The Jerk
Navin, I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass.
Mother Johnson The Jerk
Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
Naven R Johnson The Jerk
I don't care about losing all the money. It's losing all the stuff.
Marie The Jerk
Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?
Naven R Johnson The Jerk
Navin R. Johnson: [bleakly] I've already given away eight pencils, two hoola dolls, and an ashtray, and I've only taken in fifteen dollars.
Frosty: Navin, you have taken in fifteen dollars and given away fifty cents worth of crap, which gives us a net profit of fourteen dollars and fifty cents.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah... It's a profit deal. Takes the pressure off. Get your weight guessed right here! Only a buck! Actual live weight guessing! Take a chance and win some crap!
The Jerk
jon: where the fuck is my cake?!?!
dave: where the fuck is my 13 year old girl?!?!
tonight @ nhi
I've got a lump too and mines easier to get rid of.
Peter Griffen
Erectile dysfunction isn't a real disease. Your penis don't work because you're old and nobody wants any of it!
Thanks to denial, I'm immortal
Fry Futurama
Rembrandt Brown: Lord, Lord. You can take a man's body and beat it, you can take his soul and fry it, but to do this to a hamburger, it's just downright unkind!
Rembrandt Brown: Don't look at me, I'm just the Chicken McNugget, you the Quarter Pounder!
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Mr. Bennish, if we survive, I promise you this: I will dedicate my life to isolating the gene that makes you so obnoxious, and I will destroy it.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: The first casualty of sliding is dignity.
Rembrandt Lee "Crying Man" Brown: I didn't mind killing him. I might have a twinge of guilt about killing you, but then again, maybe not.
Wade Kathleen Welles: You bet on a game that you don't understand? You're an idiot!
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Nasty French planet, filled with shifty, back-stabbing, croissant-eating nitwits!
Wade Kathleen Welles: Come on Professor, it was only a watch.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Only a watch? That timepiece was probably worth more than the gross national product of Paraguay!
Wade Kathleen Welles: Maybe you should have saved some of those insults for the waiter.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: That frog-eating mendicant, I wouldn't waste good material on him.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: [Quinn punches a bad guy] Tis better to give than to receive.
Rembrandt Brown: She's supposed to be ugly? The Kromaggs ever look in a mirror? Eye-eating freaks!
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Impudent Yahoos!
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: That scoundrel! That intellectually impoverished knave wanted me to win his Nobel for him. As you can see, I told him nothing!
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: [to his double] It is a disgrace, sir, to think that we share a common genetic structure!
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You can tune a filesystem, but you can't tuna fish.
The tunefs(8) man page
It's hard to party with broken knee caps.
Burn Notice
<Deek> nopcode: No, it isn't. Win32 lacks the equivalent of fork().
<Knghtbrd> Deek: windoze is not meant for people who should have access to sharp objects, hence no fork()
<Knghtbrd> instead, you must rely on spoon()
Feeling superior to others because you were born somewhere else just makes you a fucking idiot. You had nothing to do with anything great that ever happened in your country, so just shut the fuck up, I'm sick of your bullshit.
I'll mend myself before it gets me.
Seether - Rise Above This
Tell me, doctor, what's the cure for the wicked man's blues?
Shaman's Harvest - Dragonfly
Don't hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don't need your help now,
You won't let me down, down, down!
Rise Against Prayer of the Refugee
We are the angry and the desperate,
The hungry, and the cold,
We are the ones who kept quiet,
And always did what we were told.
Rise Against Prayer of the Refugee
We toss and turn but don't sleep
Each breath we take makes us thieves
Like causes without rebels
Just talk but promise nothing else.
Rise Against Re Education (Through Labor)

We crawl on our knees for you
Under a sky no longer blue
We sweat all day long for you
But we sow seeds to see us through
'Cause sometimes dreams just don't come true.
Rise Against Re Education (Through Labor)
I won't crawl on my knees for you
I won't believe the lies that hide the truth
I won't sweat one more drop for you
'Cause we are the rust upon your gears
We are the insect in your ears
Rise Against Re Education (Through Labor)
Your words won't save me now.
I'm at the edge feeling the sweat drip from my brow.
"Get a grip on yourself" is what they say,
Every hour, every day.
Hands over my ears,
I've been screaming all these years!
Rise Against The Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
When I die, will they remember not
What I did, but what I haven't done?
It's not the end that I fear with each breath
It's life that scares me to death.
Rise Against The Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Danny: Pick us up in 2 hours.
Ronnie: Fuck you Miss Daisy
Role Models
Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler: You *are* white.
Danny: That's true, I am white.
Role Models
school boy: Hey nice cow outfit. Where can I pick one of those up at, the gay zoo? Homo.
Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.
Role Models
The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important
point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly
important thing to people.
Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King
There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say, "watch me".
We had no choice. We had to make them stop, and there was no other way, we are not very proud about it. But it was a question of sheer necessity. We went back to the old biblical rule of an eye for an eye. I approach these problems not from a moral point of view, but, hard as it may sound, from a cost-benefit point of view. If I’m very hard-headed, I can say, what is the political benefit in killing this person? Will it bring us nearer to peace? Will it bring us nearer to an understanding with the Palestinians or not? In most cases I don’t think it will. But in the case of Black September we had no other choice and it worked. Is it morally acceptable? One can debate that question. Is it politically vital? It was. General Aharon Yariv
To be or not to be.
      -- Shakespeare
To do is to be.
      -- Nietzsche
To be is to do.
Do be do be do.

People and their dirty laundry can be animals!
Oh, Lord have mercy! Security, security, we got a Code Black! Code Black at the main gate.
Uncle Ruckus The Boondocks
Tessa: I have this mad wedgie
jmf: let me help you with that
@ twisted night 1
I will now read these special vows which Homer has prepared for this
occasion. "Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness" --
poorness is underlined -- "in impotence and in potence, in quiet
solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-
navigated"... [consults the notecards] ... and it goes on like this.
Rev. Lovejoy officiates the Simpson's wedding, "A Milhouse Divided"
Can't start the day without that "Fresh from the circus" feeling!
Homer Simpson
Mama Boucher: You gonna lose all your fancy "fools' balls" games! And your gonna fail your big exam! Because school is?
Bobby Boucher: The devil?
[Mama gasps]
Bobby Boucher: Everything is the devil to you, Mama! Well, I like school, and I like football! And I'm gonna keep doin' them both because they make me feel good!
Bobby Boucher: [Bobby runs out, slamming the door, then comes back in] And by the way, Mama. "Alligators" are ornery 'cause of their "Medula Oblongata"!
Bobby Boucher: [Bobby runs back out, then back in again] And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!
[slams door on Mama]
The Waterboy
Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
The Waterboy
Coach Klein: Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.
Bobby Boucher: No, you people are drinkin the wrong water.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: Gatorade.
Bobby Boucher: H2O.
Coach Klein: [singing] Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks.
The Waterboy
Lawrence Taylor: Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don't do crack.
The Waterboy
Paco: I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with... with charm, athletic ability... or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspriation, to all of us who... who weren't born handsome, and charming and cool, and and...
[breaks out in tears]
The Waterboy
Mama Boucher: No son of mine is gonna play any foos-ball.
The Waterboy
Mama Boucher: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?
Bobby Boucher: No Mama, the search continues.
The Waterboy
Mama Boucher: [after Vicki Vallencourt mentions a football game] Foos-ball? Buncha overgrown monsters man-handlin' each other... 'Member when dat man wanted you to play foos-ball, Bobby?
The Waterboy
Casey Bugge: He poked me in the eye!
Bobby Boucher: Captain Insano shows no mercy.
The Waterboy
Bobby Boucher: [after Reading A Question About Benjamin Franklin] Ben Franklin
Young Bobby Boucher: [Flashback To Bobby's Childhood] Mama, When Did Ben Franklin Invent Electricity?
Mama Boucher: That's Nonsense, I Invented Electricity. Ben Franklin Is The Devil!
The Waterboy
Bobby Boucher: Look Who's on TV mama... it's the devil.
The Waterboy
If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough.
Cutthroat Bitch House
[several security guards, led by Gordon, have suddenly rushed onto the set of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season]
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt sirs, but we've got a 10-07 on our hands.
Matt Damon: [exasperated] Oh Jesus, again Ben?
Ben Affleck: [cocky] No, bullshit, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA!
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: There they are!
Jay: Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo!
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup.
Echo Base: [over Gordon's walkie talkie] I thought that was a 10-82.
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.
Echo Base: [slightly amused] Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way...
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
You cut me off mid-funk
Freaks and Geeks
If only I knew I was having fun, I wouldn't have canceled the bouncy house!
Dr. Cuddy House
Did you just catcall those fourth grade girls? Please leave!
Skills Like These
<Crow-> Manoj: well, I can’t understand stuff like "s/3#$%^% {]][ @ f245 }"
<Manoj> Crow: That is not quite legal ;-)
<Knghtbrd> Manoj - how would one make "s/3#$%^% {]][ @ f245 }" legal anyway? (and what would it do? hehe)
<Manoj> Knghtbrd: You need to finish the s/// expression.
<Knghtbrd> oh, is that all?

Don't worry, its treatable. Being a bitch, though, there's nothing we can do about that
Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money] Here's 50 for the meal, and 200 for the car.
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Did Doogie Houser just steal my fucking car?
Harold Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?
Harold Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Bitch! Learn how to fuckin' make coffee, you fucking whore!
Kumar Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!
Sam Quantum Leap
They don't give degrees to the hopelessly stupid.
Quantum Leap
Like one time, we were having this race with the stupid old timey bicycle with the big wheel in front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and...
Homer Simpson
As we were, so perfect, so happy.
They'll remember, only our smiles 'cause that's all they've seen.
Long since dried, when we are found, are the tears in which we had drowned.
As we were, so perfect, so happy.
Rise Against The Approaching Curve
Up ahead there was a curve approaching.
She made no indications of slowing.
Rise Against The Approaching Curve
Don't put me underground, I was meant for a life somewhere else.
Please, love, give me the wheel, before both of our hearts you
will steal tonight.
Rise Against The Approaching Curve
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
Robin Williams
You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
Robin Williams
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Robin Williams
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
Robin Williams
A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
Robin Williams
Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying 'I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.' The other is 'You want fries with that?'
Robin Williams
All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.
Robin Williams
Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.
Robin Williams
They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision-you either go all the way or forget it.
Robin Williams
I believe I could do dance on ice, or play in a musical of Freud's life called 'It's Your Mother' - or maybe one for the symbolists: 'Jung at Heart'. There's always the one about India: 'The Gandhi Man Can.'
Robin Williams
There was this guy, and he was always requesting shows that had already played. Yes. No. You have to tell her before. He couldn't quite grasp the idea that the charge nurse couldn't make it be yesterday. She couldn't turn back time, thank you, Einstein! Now, *he* was nuts! *He* was a fruitcake, Jim!
Jeffrey Goines 12 Monkeys
There's the television. It's all right there - all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we *for* then? We're consumers, Jim. Yeah. Okay, okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally *ill*. Fact, Jim, fact - if you don't buy things - toilet paper, new cars, computerized yo-yos, electrically-operated sexual devices, stereo systems with brain-implanted headphones, screwdrivers with miniature built-in radar devices, voice-activated computers...
Jeffrey Goines 12 Monkeys
All the doors are locked too. They’re protecting the people on the outside from us from the people on the outside who are as crazy as us.
Jeffrey Goines 12 Monkeys
James Cole: I'm here about some monkeys.
Jeffrey Goines: Monkeys?
James Cole: Monkeys. Yes. Twelve of them.
12 Monkeys
There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion.
Jeffrey Goines 12 Monkeys
Homer (to Mr Burns): Here are your messages: 'You have thirty minutes to move your car.', 'You have ten minutes to move your car.', 'Your car has been impounded.', 'Your car has been crushed into a cube.', 'You have thirty minutes to move your cube.'
[phone rings]
Homer: "Hello?"
Burns: "Is it about my cube?"
The Simpsons
24 hours in a day.
24 beers in a case.
I think not.
Who is this old woman that lives in my house?!?
About Schmidt
If I'm going to step in to the Twilight Zone, I need a damn minute.
Quantum Leap
Don't let the world deceive you
Don't let their words betray you
Don't let their lies deceive you
Let them do their worst
Killswitch Engage This is Absolution
They say in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, well in the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!
Jimmy Dirty Work
The computer should be doing the hard work. That's what it's paid to do, after all.
Larry Wall
Being a loverman and a DJ, lots of girls come down the front when I'm on the ones and twos. There was this one particular girl, though, she was so beautiful, she used to knock mah eyes out every damn time. One night she flipped this funny little heart-shaped pill and jes died there right in front of me. Now she don't dance to techno anymore.
A3 You Don't Dance to Techno Anymore
Microsoft: Re-inventing square wheels
From a post
Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.
Blore's Razor
Rock bottoms where we live, and still we dig these trenches,
To bury ourselves in them, backs breaking under tension
Rise Against Give It All
I give it all, now there's a reason why I sing,
So give it all, and it's these reasons that belong to me
Rise Against Give It All
Breathe (breathe), the air we give (give), the life we live (live), our pulses racing distances,
(breathe) so wet my tongue (give), break into song (live), through seas of competition
Rise Against Give It All
So please believe your eyes, a sacrifice,
Is not what we had in our minds,
I'm coming home tonight, home tonight
Rise Against Give It All
I can remember
The day that she told me
I won't be there I'm not that strong
All That Remains The Last Time
When everybody loves you,
You should never be lonely
Counting Crows Mr. Jones
When everybody loves me,
I'm not going to need any fucking guitar!
Counting Crows Mr. Jones
Mr Jones and me,
We don't see each other much anymore
Counting Crows Mr. Jones
For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at
the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever.
Sir Arthur Sullivan, message to Edison, 1888
"Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator."
Claude Shouse
"Einstein's mother must have been one heck of a physicist."
Joseph C. Wang
There is nothing that is funny in Biochemistry. If anything, the student is very, very depressed.
Biochemistry teacher on the first day in Medical School
There is no statute of limitations on stupidity.
Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like a nail.
Maslow's Maxim
I've been in alot of bad neighborhoods, I've yet to be raped.
dAyV in response to some ppl talking about ppl getting kidnapped and raped on Saint Vincent
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya The Princess Bride
Where'd you hide my banjo strings?
Steve Martin and The Steep Canyon Rangers Jubilation Day
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Aldous Huxley
Got Mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6.02 x 10^23.
Person 1 (to person 2): You know how to switch your brain from gear to gear?
dayv: That's what the clutch is for, right?
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Was it true," the woman inquired, "that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life?" She was told that it was. There was just a moment of silence before the woman proceeded bravely on. "Well, I'm wondering, then, how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'". Unknown.
In 1890 the US Congress wanted to extend the census to collect exhaustive demographic information on each citizen that could be resold to marketing companies to help pay for the newly installed gold-plated toilets on Capitol Hill. Experts estimated that the 1890 Census wouldn't be completed until 1900. It was hoped that an electronic tabulating machine using punchcards designed by Herman Hollerith would speed up the process.
It didn't quite work out that way. An infestation of termites ate their way through the wooden base of Hollerith's machines, and then a wave of insects devoured several stacks of punchcards. Also, some Hollerith models had the propensity to crash at the drop of a hat... literally. In one instance, the operator dropped his hat and when he reached down to pick it up, he bumped the machine, causing it to flip over and crash. These flaws meant that the census was delayed for several years. However, the system was, in the words of one newspaper reporter, "good enough for government work", a guiding principle that lives on to this very day and explains the government's insistence on using Windows-based PCs.
Brief History Of Linux (#8), Let's all holler for Hollerith
This is America. We don't have adult conversations, we have Twitter.
Bill Maher
Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!
Frank Costanza Seinfeld
What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
Christopher Hitchens
Pardo's First Postulate:
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Arnold's Addendum:
Everything else causes cancer in rats.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Oliver’s Law
1. If someone says he will do something "without fail," he won't.
2. The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make.
3. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
4. Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.
Ozman’s Law
Goto, n.:
A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers to complain about unstructured programmers.
Ray Simard
To announce that there must be no critisim of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but morally treasonable to the American public
Theordore Roosevelt
Terminal flatulence: sometimes silent, always deadly.
GI teacher
Heaven is just another lie and if you believe it, you're an idiot!
Carl Grimes The Walking Dead

Don't drop acid, take it pass-fail!
Bryan Michael Wendt

Wanna get killed?

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man
Is either a fool or a coward, whoever cannot take care of
Himself without that law is both, for a wounded man shall
Say to his assailant, "If I live will kill you, if I die you are forgiveN"
Such is the rule of honor
Lamb of God Omerta

...Another writer again agreed with all my generalities, but said that as an inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth. Most notably I have ignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old. Well, I haven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected it.

There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between prejudice and postjudice. Prejudice is making a judgment before you have looked at the facts. Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards. Prejudice

is terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious mistakes. Postjudice is not terrible. You can't be perfect of course; you may make mistakes also. But it is permissible to make a judgment after you

have examined the evidence. In some circles it is even encouraged.
Carl Sagan, The Burden of Skepticism, Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. 12, pg. 46

P.S. Perl's master plan (or what passes for one) is to take over the world like English did. Er, *as* English did...
Larry Wall

> > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why should use Linux over BSD?

No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able to say "OS/2? Hah. I've got Linux. What a cool name". 386BSD made the mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too technical.
(Linus Torvalds' follow-up to a question about Linux)

Bite my shiny metal ass.
Bender least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.
Leela's what seperates humans and robots from animals and animal robots.
Everybody's a jerk: you, me, this jerk.
Of all the friends I've had, you're the first.
I hate the people that love me, and they hate me.
Me too. I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.
You call that an antenna?
...each pound of which weighs over 10,000 pounds.
Professor Farnsworth
That'll take forever. What she ought to do is find a nice guy with two eyes and poke one out.
I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner.
Zapp Brannigan
In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
Zapp Brannigan
A grim day for robot-kind. But we can always build more killbots.
Now, now, there will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.
Professor Farnsworth
I'm gonna drink 'til I reboot.
What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24.
I assure you, I barely know the meaning of the word labor.
I'm a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy fraud.
You remind me of a young me. Not much younger mind you; perhaps even a couple of years older.
Zapp Brannigan
If you so much as glance at another woman I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very sexy manure.
Zapp Brannigan
We'll simply plot a new course for that empty region over there; near thatblack-ish, hole-ish thing.
Zapp Brannigan
And I'd do it again, and perhaps a third time. But that would be it.
Don't talk like that; tragic romances always have a happy ending.
Not everyone turns out like their parents. Look at me: my parents were honest, hard-working people.
I prefer programs of the genre World's Blankiest Blank.
Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.
Zapp Brannigan
You will practice making your bed until you can do it in your sleep.
Zapp Brannigan
If we can hit that bull's-eye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a hous eof cards. Checkmate.
Zapp Brannigan
When I'm in command every mission is a suicide mission.
Zapp Brannigan
The auxiliary power's out and they spilled my cocktail.
We will raise your planet's temperature by one million degrees per day for five days unless...
You may feel a slight stinging sensation ...all of you.
Professor Farnsworth
Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone's going to jump out of it make sure to put them in *after* you cook it.
This'll teach those filthy bastards who's lovable!
Yes, if by 'allow' you mean 'force'.
Professor Farnsworth
Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?
Bender: 1, Toilet: 0.
Wow, there's a million aliens! I've never seen something so mind-blowing! Ooh,a reception table with muffins!
One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.
Zapp Brannigan
Come, Kif, it's time for us to start our life as civilians. That's an order, soldier!
Zapp Brannigan
Here's to us schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.
Zapp Brannigan
They're not very heavy, but you don't hear me not complaining.
Let fly the white flag of war.
Zapp Brannigan
If I was registered to vote I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on Election Day and dressing like a clown.
The underprivileged get all the breaks.
I'm finally richer than those snooty ATM machines.
Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.
Bodies are for hookers and fat people.
Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy, that's funny.
Ah, nothing like a warm fire and a SuperSoaker of fine cognac.
You must be using an archaic form of pronunciation, like saying 'ask' insteadof 'axe'.
Yes, I got the most! I win X-Mas!
X-Mas eve, another pointless day where I accomplished nothing. Ah...
Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering!
Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies... and there would have to be alot of them.
Linda the Reporter
Alright, bird. You thought you could beat me in a game of wits but you just met your equal.
Finally, I look as pretty as I feel!
Dr. Zoidberg
Oh dear! They'll be killed on our doorstep... and there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
Professor Farnsworth
It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have a have a big clambake and cook him! Yee-ha!
He's no different from the rest of you organisms, shooting DNA at each other to make babies. I find it offensive.
He's a loser; he's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
Actually, she wasn't really my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
No one drove in New York. There was too much traffic.
I'm just glad we hit something, I thought we'd never stop!
If you kill anyone make sure to eat their heart; to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage. Yum yum.
Professor Farnsworth
I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now.
It's funny because it's poisonous!
Dr. Zoidberg
He's bad news. I regret ever running him over.
I may be against the fur industry, but that won't keep me from skinning you alive; as long as no one wears the skin.
Bob Barker
I am shocked! Shocked! Well, not that shocked.
You, sir, have defaced a natural treasure! I insist you restore my buttocks to their former glory.
Computer dating: it's just like pimping except you rarely have to use the term 'upside your head'.
Now, my usual fee is $500. But seeing as how its you, I'll need it all in advance.
She is well-traveled, and I don't mean she travels a lot.
If I ever feel lonely, I'll just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you.
I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling; but it turns out it's fixed, like boxing.
It's one thing to win a fixed fight; there's dignity in that. But to lose!
After all this time, someone else who has one eye who isn't a clumsy carpenter or a kid with a bb gun.
Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it inthe body of a great white shark: oooh, suddenly you've gone too far!
Professor Farnsworth
You know, they say you can judge a man by the company he keeps; so here's the professor's oldest friend: a grotesque, stinking lobster!
After fourteen years of graduate school Farnsworth settled into the glamorous life of a scientist. Fast cars, trendy nightspots, beautiful women... theprofessor designed them all, working out of his tiny one-room apartment.
Everyone, I have a dramatic announcement. Anyone with a weak heart should leave. Goodbye.
Professor Farnsworth
I'm sure Bender has just made some cunning remark, but he doesn't know I taped over his soap operas to record this message.
Professor Farnsworth
I'm as spry as a 140 year old. See? I only broke one ankle.
Professor Farnsworth
...Martini-drinking contest with the auto-pilot. I would have won, except weran out of olives.
Everything that is Bender is right here: his mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.
Morgan Proctor
There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.
Poor Bender. Without his brain he's become all quiet and helpful.
Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress.
This is the best nanosecond of my life! No this one is! No this one!
I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated.
Dr. Zoidberg
I want you to find him and plug him. Then, unplug him.
Your dear old Mother won't be around forever and just once before I die I'd like to be Supreme Overlord of Earth.
Hey hey! Ho ho! One zero zero one one zero!
Robot Mob
In my time we didn't depend on high-tech gadgets like you do. We didn't need a mechanical washing unit to wash our clothes, we just used a washing machine!
...we could use my new invention: a pointy rock on a stick!
Professor Farnsworth
...and if that doesn't work I got you a six-pack of champagne and a funnel.
Problem solved. You two fight to the death and I'll cook the loser.
They're like sex, except I'm having it.
Great is OK, but amazing would be GREAT!
Yes! I'm going to be rich! You are too, but it's hard to get excited about that.
We will begin with the firemen and the math teachers and so on in that fashion until everyone is eaten.
I wish they'd just wipe out humanity and get it over with. It's the waiting I can't stand.
Put 'er there, pal! ...I meant your wallet.
Giant Bender
I came here with the simple dream... a dream of killing all humans. And thisis how it must end? Who's the real 700 billion ton monster here? Not I... Not I...
Giant Bender
I can be impulsive... it just takes me a while.
Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion; the "x" makes it sound cool.
That question was less stupid, though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
Professor Farnsworth
If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability.
Zapp Brannigan
Men, you are lucky men. Soon you'll all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a finemesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.
Zapp Brannigan
Whoa, check out that guy! He makes Speedy Gonzalez look like RegularGonzalez!
He edged out my old mark by 2 seconds. And 16 minutes. And 12 hours.
Zapp Brannigan
That young man fills me with hope ...and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing.
Zapp Brannigan
If they put me on a stamp... tell them to use the young Bender.
Scalpel... blood bucket... priest. Next patient!
Dr. Zoidberg
I hereby order that in Bender's honor he be melted down and made into a statue of himself.
Zapp Brannigan
You'll be negotiating with the mysterious brain-balls. They've got a lot of brains and a lot of... chutzpah.
Zapp Brannigan
At last, war has made me into a man. Weeeeee!
Hmm, words I never say... Oh, I know: "Thanks"!
Bender, you look awful. I recommend makeup.
Dr. Zoidberg
Robot porno theatre! I was in that... general... vicinity.
I can't afford to keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it.
You're a thousand years old?! Your bio says you're 27!
I was all of history's greatest acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, David Duchovny!
You didn't hurt me, but you wanted to. That's the important thing.
That probulator really knows how to please a man.
And with Fry gone, I'm free to leave my jigsaw puzzle pieces out without him eating them.
Professor Farnsworth
Alright, alright. If it'll make you happy I'll overthrow society.
No fair! You changed the results by measuring it!
Professor Farnsworth
Life is hilariously cruel.
What's wrong? Did you swallow another cell phone?
Here's my personal book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as fast as you can. Don't stop for any reason.
Zapp Brannigan
It's not uncharted, you lost the chart!
Oh God, you're killing me. OH GOD YOU'RE KILLING ME!
Zapp Brannigan
Of all the parasites I've had over the years, these worms are among the best.
I always knew I'd die at the bottom of a pit, but a pit full of tar?
It's toe-tappingly tragic!
Dr. Zoidberg
Bender's my friend; we can't just dump him in the sewer like Grandma's ashes.
Kudos, Bender! You got mangled and became a singer. Both our dreams came true.
Oh crap! It's a miracle!
Those aren't swan-boats, they're swans.
Just a few... more... hundred... thousand... miles. There.
I guess I could part with one doomsday device and still be feared.
Professor Farnsworth
It's funny, you live in the universe but you never do these things until someone comes to visit.
Dr. Zoidberg
Now you know why I used the qualifier 'practically'.
Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.
Zapp Brannigan
You know the worst part about being a slave? They make you work but they don't pay you or let you go.
Now we're slaving!
The cruelty of the old pharoah is a thing of the past! Let a whole new wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land!
People said I was dumb, but I proved them!
You say that those brains are making everyone on Earth stupid. Oh... stupider.
Why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?
I think cosmetic surgery is great! I used to be too cute, but then I had cuteness reduction surgery *here* and *here*.
Don't be such a a chicken, Kif! Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball.
Zapp Brannigan
I'm not a robot! I don't like having discs crammed into me; unless they're Oreos. And then, only in the mouth.
Is this angry yelling or busted hearing aid yelling?
Dr. Zoidberg
If you want children beaten, you've got to do it yourself.
That's so plausible I can't believe it!
Robots don't have any emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad.
You bastard! They treated me like an animal and that's what I became!...Nah I'm just kidding, good to see ya buddy!
I personalized each of your meals. For example, Amy: you're cute, so I baked you a pony.
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